Dear Prudence,
A few years ago, I discovered that my husband had an X account that I didn’t know about.
That’s when I found him responding to posts from women. The posts were concerning and felt like emotional infidelity. We almost divorced over it. The papers were ready to be signed, but he talked me into dropping the divorce and moving forward with him.
We tried some counseling, and I asked him to add me to his social media and for us to be completely transparent with each other. He refused and said I just have to trust him like he trusts me. Long story short, I let it go, and we are doing fine. However, this has not been the only emotional infidelity issue, so I’m still concerned and not trusting. I keep thinking of asking him to show his social media. Or to look into it myself, but that would be snooping. I still don’t trust him. I doubt he would ever physically cheat on me, but these contacts with women are really unacceptable to me, especially the flirty conversations he had with them. Am I wrong to expect transparency with his social media? How can I learn how to trust him without this? I feel bad that I let it go; I should not have done that.
—Should Have, Would Have, Could Have