clutch your pearls

Casadena · June 18

Dear Prudence,

Four months ago, my husband and I had our peaceful retirement upended. Our next-door neighbors of 34 years moved out and a couple of sex perverts moved in.

These weirdos hold a sex party at least once per week with all the accompanying noise, and they don’t bother to pull their shades down, no matter how often we ask them to show some discretion. Now that the weather has warmed, they are taking the cavorting out beside their pool! Last night was the worst—my husband said he could see them and their sick friends were going at it for three hours from our second-story window. And they had a table with refreshments arranged to look like a giant vagina! How can we shut these freaks down?

CharmedPam · June 18

Casadena said:

Dear Prudence,
Four months ago, my husband and I had our peaceful retirement upended. Our next-door neighbors of 34 years moved out and a couple of sex perverts moved in.
These weirdos hold a sex party at least once per week with all the accompanying noise, and they don’t bother to pull their shades down, no matter how often we ask them to show some discretion. Now that the weather has warmed, they are taking the cavorting out beside their pool! Last night was the worst—my husband said he could see them and their sick friends were going at it for three hours from our second-story window. And they had a table with refreshments arranged to look like a giant vagina! How can we shut these freaks down?

“And to top it all off, Prudie, my husband uses electronic binoculars! Those charges don’t even last the 3 hours. What’s he supposed to do? Pull out the old fashioned kind? No one’s got time for that!”