Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Etiquette Forum
JHS16
member
Open Bar Tip Jars?
Our reception venue is giving us the option to provide tip jars for our bartenders for a discount on our open bar. Uncouth or acceptable?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?
Plus, most people like to tip, even when its open bar. I would be uncomfortable walking up to a bar, getting a free drink, and walking away without leaving something. Its like paying for your meal with a gift card. Would you not leave the waitress something just because the meal was free?
Its not like having the tip jar makes it mandatory to tip. It just leaves the option.
DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
Books read in 2012: 21/50
ETA: On the list of things I would give a side eye to at a wedding, a tip jar doesn't even register.
I'd think it was a bit tacky on the part of the venue if I saw this, It wouldn't reflect on the B&G.
Every wedding I've been to with an open bar has had tip jars. In some venues the tip jar has to be out. I never even think about it.
2011 Reading Challenge
[QUOTE]As we bartenders always say, the drink may be free but the service isnt. :)
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
Neither is free, but both should be paid by the host.
"Would your parents offer to take you out and treat you for dinner and drinks and then not leave a tip when they received the bill?"
No, they wouldn't. Of course they'd leave a tip. And they wouldn't expect me to, either, if they had said they'd pick up the tab.
Which is why it is the hosts responsibility.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
I THINK they were out for our wedding. <- See how much I paid attention? I can't even remember...
www.tiffandshel.com/wedding
[QUOTE]I only say yes because I have been bartending 12 years and when we have events with open bar and set gratuity, its not as much as you think(and its taxed through the roof). I dont see any harm in them having a tip jar. As we bartenders always say, the drink may be free but the service isnt. :) Plus, most people like to tip, even when its open bar. I would be uncomfortable walking up to a bar, getting a free drink, and walking away without leaving something. Its like paying for your meal with a gift card. Would you not leave the waitress something just because the meal was free?<strong> Its not like having the tip jar makes it mandatory to tip. It just leaves the option.</strong>
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
Wrong, it makes people feel pressured to take out their wallets and tip.
You can still tip even without a tip jar. It's not like they wouldn't accept it.
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
I had every intention of tipping the bartender myself as it was part of my budget, but a few of my friends (guests @ wedding) said that I shouldn't tip the bartender because there would be a tip jar. It was pretty much expected to be there.
I was a bit confused because of the opinions I read previously on P&E, so I asked around and everyone told me they always see tip jars at weddings.
Maybe it's a regional thing?
My family had a wedding recently and there was a tip jar on the bar, no one complained. If they wanted to tip, they tipped. If not, oh well.
I see nothing wrong with it.
It's really the responsibility of the hosts, not the guests, to tip the bartenders. I've attended weddings where the open bar had a tip jar, and although I wasn't offended by it, I felt like I needed to tip at least once since it was there.
[QUOTE]I always tip when I get a drink at an open bar knowing full well that the host is also tipping the bartender. I do find it tacky when a tip jar is out because to me it just looks greedy on the part of the bartender.
Posted by MOBinFL2008[/QUOTE]
I agree. Guests can always tip the bartender without a tip jar being there, and it does make the bartenders look greedy when it's sitting there.
BUT, as a guest, I don't mind chipping in on the tip, because I may not know what the gratuity arrangements are, and I like to tip a little more than the typical standard gratuity.
Many people still like tipping the bartenders well for free drinks, to ensure they get a generously poured drink, or because they believe in keeping the bartenders happy, lol. The people that want to tip, and typically tip well, WILL still tip whether there is a tip jar out or not.
If you are having a very formal wedding, I'd suggest either be a gracious host and pay the extra, or ask that they place the tip jars where they are not in full view. Otherwise, you ARE essentially asking guests to help subsidise your wedding.
(But honestly, as a guest, I "don't care as long as there is an open bar". But as a hostess, I would be embarrassed to have tip jars out.)
[QUOTE]I say sure. People are not "required" to tip since you are paying for it. The tipping will save you money. <strong>My family had a wedding recently and there was a tip jar on the bar, no one complained. </strong>If they wanted to tip, they tipped. If not, oh well. I see nothing wrong with it.
Posted by krmabojo[/QUOTE]
The problem is it's in your face and you feel obligated to give money. Can you imagine if the waitress plopped a tip jar on your table at a wedding? Why is it okay for the bartender to solicit tips and not the other wait staff?
fwiw - it's a fireable offense if we had out a tip jar and /or solicited tips. It's just rude and tacky. That said, I make really good money, so I guess it's not really needed.
I don't know if I'd hold it against the B&G, but I'd think less of the place/bartender if there was a tip jar. I think the B&G should pay the standard gratuity and at the end of the night, if the bartending staff was awsome (i.e. NO watered down boring drinks, smug service etc) then they can throw them and extra $50 of $100 or whatever depending on the size, but guests should only give tips over the counter if they want to.
I think people forget- and I say this having worked for tips for years- that they are just that, TIPS. As in, here's your wage plus a TIP if you go above and beyond. I realize people are taxed on tips (whether or not they earn them) but I think servers/bartenders that feel entitled to 20%+ regardless of how they perform and out of line.
And BlueEyed, I used to bartend as well. I know that if someone wants to tip for service, they are going to do whether or not there is a jar sitting there. An experienced bartender knows how to quickly pocket cash w/out anyone else being the wiser.
~My Married Bio~
40/112
I've seen tip jars once or twice now, but at least in my area, only at weddings that seem to be on the cheap and kind of rough side to begin with.