Mass or no Mass?

TeamRip3 · March 2013

My fiancé and I decided on having a Catholic wedding not a wedding Mass. When my mom ( a hard core Catholic) found out she flipped!!!

We have a huge bridal party (7 each side only two Catholic) and over 400 people on the guest list. It would take forever to do the Mass and I don't want people to feel awkward.

What should we do?

agapecarrie · March 2013

It won't take forever. It just adds the Eucharistic Prayer and ministering communion.

A mass is the highest form of prayer-- it's a re-presentation of ultimate sacrifice on calvary and the resurrection and provides infinite graces in the Eucharist. Having the priest's intention (and those in the congregation who decide to offer their mass) be for you will provide you so much grace in your marriage, that really is much more important than having a wedding go a few minutes longer. It can be evangelistic, and people get graces also.

Please don't turn down the grace, especially if you are both Catholic-- the Eucharist will unite you.

Calypso1977 · March 2013

if you are both catholic, IMO, you shoudl be having mass.

people wont feel awkward and if they do that is their problem. poeple with serious problems or issues can always opt to not attend the ceremony.

chelseamb11 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_mass-or-no-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:984a9ccd-cc9c-4783-8e0c-120a47a787d3Post:aafb9b05-3e39-48d9-b56e-c0bd2ba3f3b5">Re:Mass or no Mass?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had 320 people at our wedding and nobody complained that it is awkward. Remember, the Eucharist is the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus. It is His true presence. As far as the guest list is concerned, <strong>He should be at the top of your list.</strong> As Carrie said, the graces from the Eucharist are very powerful and needed in a new marriage.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

Well put!
I agree! Think of it this way... if enough of your guests are Catholic, this will be nothing new for them and won't get bored. If they aren't, you really won't be adding THAT much time by doing communion because they wouldn't receive it anyway. An additional 20 minutes to your wedding mass will be completely forgotten in 5 years by your guests. But it is something you will always remember and reap the benefits of.

s-aries8990 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_mass-or-no-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:984a9ccd-cc9c-4783-8e0c-120a47a787d3Post:25aa2a57-1a7d-448a-8fee-439a4c35f87e">Mass or no Mass?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiancé and I decided on having a Catholic wedding not a wedding Mass. When my mom ( a hard core Catholic) found out she flipped!!! We have a huge bridal party (7 each side only two Catholic) and over 400 people on the guest list. It would take forever to do the Mass and I don't want people to feel awkward. What should we do?
Posted by TeamRip3[/QUOTE]

If you're both Catholic, I think that you should have a full mass. The wedding is for you and FI, the reception is for your guests. Are most people on your guest list Catholic? I think that they would appreciate a full mass; and for those who aren't Catholic, it's good for them to see the full celebration of other cultures. It'll make them more well rounded.

Tami87 · March 2013

I don't think the size of the wedding party has any impact on the length of the ceremony besides maybe the time it takes to walk in and out which shouldn't be more than a few minutes at most. Also the wedding party usually sits for most of the mass, in case you were worried about the amount of time spent standing. Also a wedding ceremony without mass can still go 45 min, so I don't think you are really going to cut that much time, especially if not everyone goes up for communion.

I was also a little nervous about some of my guests being uncomfortable at my wedding mass, but at the same time my husband and I are both practicing Catholics and having a mass was important to us. Only 2 of the 7 people in our wedding party are Catholic. My dad is not Catholic, nor any of his side of the family. But they were there to support us and know that we were having a wedding ceremony that was meaningful to us. As previous posters mentioned the reception is for the guests the ceremony should be about the two of you.

To try and make sure those not familiar with the mass could follow along I provided a detailed program. I was pleasantly surprised that none of my non-Catholic family complained about the length (at least that I heard of). Also it was clear on the invitations what kind of ceremony we were having and if someone really had that big of an issue with it they could have always just attended the reception.

Resa77 · March 2013

I totally understand your concerns, but I have to agree with PP's that if you're both Catholic, you should really have a Mass. Your guests should be people who love and care about you, and if that's the case, they won't mind the Mass, even if they're not Catholic.

lindsaynewbride10 · March 2013

You have the opportunity to have Christ present at your wedding. This is a no-brainer.

daisyamers · March 2013

we have 7 girls and 7 guys, only 2 people in our briday party are catholic, we are having 250 guest and we are having a full catholic mass. it's more about what you want. when you think back 20 years from now and it's all a blur with highlights, will you want one of those highlights to have been marring your man during mass? i know i do!

maryjohnson610 · March 2013

I also say yes if you are both Catholic. The Eucharist is the TRUE PRESENCE of Christ and "source and summit" of our faith and a real sign of our unity to one another in Christ. Also, on another level, a wedding is a sign of our union with Christ (which we achieve intimately in the Eucharist). in Ephesian 5, St Paul describes Christ's relation to the Church as the relation of a husband and wife. It's really beautiful, actually!

Many blessings!!

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