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Hazel_B
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Age Differences
This morning I had a conversation with someone who had turned down someone who has asked her out because of an almost 15 year age difference. This progressed into a conversation where she essentially explained to me that women who dated guys who were substantially older were either desperate or gold diggers because it was disgusting.
Just wondering what you ladies think about age differences. And, go...
Just wondering what you ladies think about age differences. And, go...
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Re: Age Differences
"Popular on the internetz..."
Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
Murried Bio
I have a friend who is 25 and dating a 46 year old - in and of itself, that doesn't bother me. The facts that are a bigger deal are that she's very clingy and dependent on him, that she's acting like a spoiled child that her family doesn't approve (rather than simply saying, "You know what, I'm an adult and I love him, and I hope you can grow to accept that."), and that he's got an awful lot of baggage with his ex-wife.
I don't think 15 years is necessarily a big deal - it depends on the people involved. My grandparents met when my grandma was 24 and my grandpa was 37, they were both divorced with kids, and they have the happiest relationship I've ever seen (13 year age difference, for those who don't want to do the math
She just makes these blanket statements all the time. When she said that, my reply was that once people get past the fact that the grew up listening to different music and that sort of thing, the only real problem that I've heard of people having is hitting retirement at different times and that putting a lot of strain on a relationship.
Then she brought up children and ability to parent. I told her there are tons of active people in their 60s and tons of inactive people in their 20s that age doesn't matter it comes down to the person.
Man, it is a battle everytime with her, I swear.
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
"Popular on the internetz..."
Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
Murried Bio
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
[QUOTE]The only real problem that I've heard of people having is hitting retirement at different times and that putting a lot of strain on a relationship.
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]
Cute story about different retirement times - my grandpa is retired (and has been for 15 years - he worked for a city and got a "golden handshake" when they were trying to cut expenses, so he has a pension and benefits for life). My grandma is only 63 years old (not biological grandma, for those trying to count haha) and is still working for another 4 years so she can get a pension, too. My grandpa drives her to work every morning at 5am so they can spend that time together, then he picks her up every afternoon at 3pm to drive her home and hear about her day.
I want to be them someday <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
That being said, I'm a whole like 4 months older than BF, so I don't have much to say on the subject.
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
[QUOTE]Paint - While you are at it you should have him pack you a lunch too :)
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]
Hey I like that! I pack his lunch now (I work from home) so he can pack mine then! And have dinner ready for me when I get home :)
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Age Differences : Hey I like that! I pack his lunch now (I work from home) so he can pack mine then! And have dinner ready for me when I get home :)
Posted by paintgirl[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that would be a fire if my grandpa was cooking! But for a guy who knows how to cook, yes please!
I loved the 3 weeks between New Years and when BF started school again - he cooked and cleaned, and when I got home handed me a glass of wine and the remote. Those were awesome weeks!
I'm 25.
So far, the only problem we've run in to is discussing the cartoons we watched when we were younger.
He and I have discussed a 3 year plan before trying for kids, but either way, he's going to be attending high school graduation with a cane.
My Dad was 39 when my kid sister was born, so I really don't think it's a big deal.
When I really want to get under his skin, I tell him: "I can't wait to get married, have kids, and grow old, well.... after you."
Occassionally we hear a song that he'll talk about from college and I'll remind him that i was in grade 8 at the time.
Age isn't a big one for us, I find him being American and me being Canadian there are more things I notice. As in both countries doing things differently, our versions of history are a bit different, etc.
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
I agree, 15 years is substantial...but due to my own experience I feel like I should no longer judge other's choices. I believe the more open minded you are when it comes to meeting people, the more likely you will meet someone with potential to have a true (rather than superficial) connection. Just my opinion though.
BF is only 2 years older than me, so it isn't that weird. It does sound weird when I remind him that I was only 16 when we met. He sometimes finds it weird that his "little" brother is actually 6 months older than I am.
I have personally seen a very happy marriage between people with a huge age difference. My parents were about 14 years apart. My mom met my dad when she was 19 in a bar on New Year's Eve, and he was a truck driver passing through town. Like Wrkn said, I think having children is one of the bigger issues concerning couples with a large age gap. My dad was 48 when I was born and 51 when my brother was born. The part about attending high school events with a cane? Very true.
[QUOTE]BF and I have an 8 year difference. Would I have ever guessed I'd be with someone that much older than me - no. Did we meet, hit it off right away and build a strong connection over the past 4 years?...yes. I think it's a LARGE assumption to assume women who date older men are desperate or looking for financial perks.<strong> Often times women are more mature than men, so dating an older man may be a great way to meet someone who is at the same stage in their lives (ie: ready to get married, start a family, etc.)</strong> I agree, 15 years is substantial...but due to my own experience I feel like I should no longer judge other's choices. I believe the more open minded you are when it comes to meeting people, the more likely you will meet someone with potential to have a true (rather than superficial) connection. Just my opinion though.
Posted by allusive007[/QUOTE]
This. I'm 23 and FI is 27 and we are on the same level as far as what we are looking for and <em>when</em>. I've dated guys my own age and I always felt like I was "too old" for them.
15 years would probably be a bit of a stretch for me personally, but I absolutely believe that it can work for other people. My parents friends are 14 years apart (oddly enough, he's 14 years older than her and she's 14 years older than his son...) and their relationship works for them and you really don't notice an age difference between them.
The only cases I judge is like Anna Nicole Smith. I'm sorry, but I don't believe there was any interest in that age difference other than money. I'm not saying it couldn't happen for anyone, but really...she was just a gold digger.
That, and the non-profit group we're in is for young business professionals. (21-40), so he only has two years left. He'll become a 'senator' for the organization, while I'll still be an active member for 13 more years.
The gold-digging thing is common, but not with us. When I met him, him and his business partner were splitting. I helped support him while he got his new business off the ground. It was rough, but it's getting better.
Best of all, he doesn't look 38, so we really don't get questioned a lot.
(He was 37 here.)
My Dad has always dated younger women. So, when I called him, I told him, "Sometimes you're the craddle robber, sometimes you get your craddle robbed."
He laughed it off.
Dad is engaged to a woman that is the same age as BF, so his response was, "We gotta watch it. They might run off together."
(It was a joke.)
Married Bio
[QUOTE]I agree with what Paige said. Once people get older, age is less of a problem. A young teenager dating someone in their twenties is pretty creepy. I remember the days of high school dances, when those girls would have to ask permission to bring their BFs that were at least 3 years older than any of the seniors. Awkward... I have personally seen a very happy marriage between people with a huge age difference. My parents were about 14 years apart. My mom met my dad when she was 19 in a bar on New Year's Eve, and he was a truck driver passing through town. Like Wrkn said, I think having children is one of the bigger issues concerning couples with a large age gap. <strong>My dad was 48 when I was born and 51 when my brother was born.</strong> The part about attending high school events with a cane? Very true.
Posted by sparkles88[/QUOTE]
That has made me breathe a sign of relief. He feels like we'll be cutting it close, but I'm not worried. My biological clock is barely wound, and we can freeze his shiit.
I think some people could view it as wierd but its about what makes someone happy. I personally like the age difference as he is mature and has things (ie a career, house and is stabolized.) where i am 26 still working on things like career etc.
I'm sorry, but if I was friends with a 28 year old who was dating a high school student, I would say "WTF is wrong with you?"
Later on, in my mid-20s I dated someone 9 years older than me. That was mostly fine. We were both working adults (not one working adult and one high school kid).
If both parties are happy, fine. But when I see a much older person with a teenager or college student, I worry for the younger person.
I haz a planning bio
But moral to this story..age is just a number. Unless they're still a teenager.