virgin?

audrey44 · November 2010

my FI thinks I am a virgin but I am not. I do not want him to find out - what should I do???

MarriedInAFever · November 2010

You need a fake hymen kit. Duh.

maratea · November 2010

SarahPLiz · November 2010

Not marry him if you can't be honest with him.

Wait, I bet your name is Catelynn and his is Tyler. Next, he will ask for your phone records. Go ahead and give them to him. It all works out in the end.

JenGin74 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:97205216-6892-4dfd-9867-403733e5565f">Re: virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]You need a fake hymen kit. Duh.
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

It's the only fool-proof way to hide your hoarish past

amber2123 · November 2010

Spend thousands of dollars and get a new one put in...OR Tell him the truth and have a real RELATIONSHIP based on honesty.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · November 2010

If you are real (which I doubt) - why did you lead your fiance to believe that you are a virgin if you are not?

You can either continue to lie to him and continue to falsely let him believe that he is your one and only the rest of his life, OR, you can fess up now and be honest with him about your sexual past.

I think being truthful about your sexual past is the better option. I'm not saying you have to divulge details or name names, but jeez. Why don't you trust him enough to be honest with him?

DodgersBride · November 2010

On serious note: You really need to tell him the truth to try and salvage any part of your relationship now. You started your relationship with a lie and have continued to lie. You certainly don't want to start your marriage like that.

Put yourself in FI's shoes if he had lied to you about something like this you would want him to come clean and tell you. I think you owe him at least to tell him now before he goes through with this marriage.

LessThanZero · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:a79e5e04-e3bf-4995-9aca-e9d77ff7cba5">Re: virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]On serious note: You really need to tell him the truth to try and salvage any part of your relationship now. You started your relationship with a lie and have continued to lie. You certainly don't want to start your marriage like that. <strong>Put yourself in FI's shoes if he had lied to you about something like this you would want him to come clean and tell you. I think you owe him at least to tell him now before he goes through with this marriage.</strong>
Posted by DodgersBride[/QUOTE]

Yeah this.

Why did you lie in the first place?

Celles · November 2010

I'm pretty sure there's a Japanese product to help with this. Unfortunately, I'm at work and I don't think I want "artificial + hymen" to come up as a search term.

On the plus side, I seem to remember something about multiple color choices, including neon and glow in the dark blood.

Amisslis · November 2010

Starting off your marriage with a lie is not a good idea.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:3c2a0a63-8ef2-46a4-935e-5c83cc223a6b">virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]my FI thinks I am a virgin but I am not. I do not want him to find out - what should I do???
Posted by audrey44[/QUOTE]

So you lied and told him you were? Or the conversation never came up?

What you should do is tell him the truth. If you are so worried about him finding out, then obviously it must be something he values. If he values virginity I'm pretty confident he also values honesty and trust. This is something that could easily be cause for divorce down the road. I would be beyond hurt if I found out H had lied to me about something that was important to me.

tldh · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:3c2a0a63-8ef2-46a4-935e-5c83cc223a6b">virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]my FI thinks I am a virgin but I am not. I do not want him to find out - what should I do???
Posted by audrey44[/QUOTE]

Why would you lie about this?!?!?!?

You owe it to him to be honest, not only because real and grown up relationships are built on honesty, but because you both need to know eachother's pasts for health reasons.

It's not an easy converstaion to have but it has to be done. DH and I broke up for a few years before we got married and had to have this discussion twice.

redheadfsu · November 2010

What should you do? Tell him the truth. Be an adult & have an honest relationship.

HKD817 · November 2010

You really want to start off your marriage with a lie? Just tell him

MyNameIsNot · November 2010

Is this a leftover Halloween troll?

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

This must be MUD. I refuse to believe that a person can be this stupid.

mcornelissen · November 2010

Did he ask you and you said you are, or did he just asume and you never took the time to set the record straight? Either way, he WILL find out at the end, so its better to tell him the truth now!

Muffin'sMom · November 2010

Get him REALLY drunk and then TELL him he did it...lying appears to be a skill tha comes naturally!

aleighk1 · November 2010

facepalm.

NillaWafer10 · November 2010

Umm... gross. Go get tested for STD's. If your FI decides that this is not a deal breaker, he at least deserves to know he won't get infected by your past.

Gismo123 · November 2010

Really? Haven't you ever heard the saying "Without honesty there is NO relationship" If I were your FI and I found out you lied to me about something that important, I would call off the wedding immidiatly and dump your ass.

sunshineboots · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:e696a959-4f31-45d0-bd74-816dd53c326a">Re: virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]facepalm.
Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahahaha wow, my thoughts exactly. </div><div>
</div><div>In the immortal words of the Genie from Aladdin (since you are approaching this situation like a child it only seems appropriate to use a Disney movie) "TELL THE TRUTH"</div>

JadziaDax · November 2010

The answer here is obvious. You need to come clean... on Jerry Springer.

sweets18 · November 2010

I still hope this was some type of joke...

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:60fafaf8-f9e1-4298-a386-fa32510a7c01">Re: virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]The answer here is obvious. You need to come clean... on Jerry Springer.
Posted by JadziaDax[/QUOTE]
Nah, this totally seems like a case for Maury and his lie detector.

mazinggrace · November 2010

So you are going to let this man who loves you enough to marry you do so based on a lie. Not being a virgin is no big deal but lying about something so big to the man you will spend you life with is dishonest. It is one thing to lie to him about how much you really spent on his wedding gift it is another to lie about this.

I really hope you come clean with him and tell him the truth, if not you base your whole life with this man on a lie. How will he feel if years after you marry him that you were not a virgin. When the two of you finally do have sex he will have a very special moment and you will take that away from him. He is expecting this to be a very special moment for you too do yourself a favor and be honest! And for his sake I hope you are.

Sirinial · November 2010

First, I love how everyone is assuming that she CONSENTED to whatever it is that made her not a "virgin".

Second, women have been lying about their hymens since time immemorial, because for some psychologically maladjusted reason, it's important to men that women adhere to a higher standard of "purity" than they do. And even among adult women who actually ARE virgins, only about 45% actually bleed the first time they have sex.

I say, if he asks about it afterward, have him read the "hymen" article on DiscoveryHealth, particularly the part that says "...it is scientific fact that the hymen can be separated for reasons quite unconnected to sexual intercourse. It can separate when the body is stretched strenuously, as in athletics; it can be separated by inserting a tampon during menstruation or through masturbation; and sometimes it is separated for no apparent reason." Not to mention the fact that some women are literally born without one. It happens.

jemmini6 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:da67e0cf-4eae-4b41-9058-874a58c95a53">Re: virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]First, I love how everyone is assuming that she CONSENTED to whatever it is that made her not a "virgin". Second, women have been lying about their hymens since time immemorial, because for some psychologically maladjusted reason, it's important to men that women adhere to a higher standard of "purity" than they do. And even among adult women who actually ARE virgins, only about 45% actually bleed the first time they have sex. I say, if he asks about it afterward, have him read the "hymen" article on DiscoveryHealth, particularly the part that says "...it is scientific fact that the hymen can be separated for reasons quite unconnected to sexual intercourse. It can separate when the body is stretched strenuously, as in athletics; it can be separated by inserting a tampon during menstruation or through masturbation; and sometimes it is separated for no apparent reason ." Not to mention the fact that some women are literally born without one. It happens.
Posted by Sirinial[/QUOTE]

Regardless of how it happened, she is LYING to him. The whole 'hymen' issue is completely beside the point. She is going to be basing her entire marriage on a lie, basically fooling him into marrying her. It's sick and it's wrong.

DanielleZZ · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:da67e0cf-4eae-4b41-9058-874a58c95a53">Re: virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]First, I love how everyone is assuming that she CONSENTED to whatever it is that made her not a "virgin". Second, women have been lying about their hymens since time immemorial, because for some psychologically maladjusted reason, it's important to men that women adhere to a higher standard of "purity" than they do. And even among adult women who actually ARE virgins, only about 45% actually bleed the first time they have sex. I say, if he asks about it afterward, have him read the "hymen" article on DiscoveryHealth, particularly the part that says "...it is scientific fact that the hymen can be separated for reasons quite unconnected to sexual intercourse. It can separate when the body is stretched strenuously, as in athletics; it can be separated by inserting a tampon during menstruation or through masturbation; and sometimes it is separated for no apparent reason ." Not to mention the fact that some women are literally born without one. It happens.
Posted by Sirinial[/QUOTE]

I agree and i was one of those who did not bleed the first time.

MyNameIsNot · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:cec078ad-577f-4fa4-b32b-e3f25617299bPost:da67e0cf-4eae-4b41-9058-874a58c95a53">Re: virgin?</a>:
[QUOTE]First, I love how everyone is assuming that she CONSENTED to whatever it is that made her not a "virgin". Second, women have been lying about their hymens since time immemorial, because for some psychologically maladjusted reason, it's important to men that women adhere to a higher standard of "purity" than they do. And even among adult women who actually ARE virgins, only about 45% actually bleed the first time they have sex. I say, if he asks about it afterward, have him read the "hymen" article on DiscoveryHealth, particularly the part that says "...it is scientific fact that the hymen can be separated for reasons quite unconnected to sexual intercourse. It can separate when the body is stretched strenuously, as in athletics; it can be separated by inserting a tampon during menstruation or through masturbation; and sometimes it is separated for no apparent reason ." Not to mention the fact that some women are literally born without one. It happens.
Posted by Sirinial[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It doesn't matter how she lost her virginity. What matters is that she has been lying about it to the man who she says she wants to spend the rest of her life with. </div><div>
</div><div>Not that this person is real anyway, but if she were, the fact that a person could lie about something so huge proves that 1) she is not mature enough to be married and 2) she doesn't have enough trust and love for this man to have any business marrying him. </div><div>
</div><div>The fact that other people have done it doesn't excuse it either. Prostitution is the world's oldest profession, but that doesn't mean I turn tricks on the weekend.

</div>

virgin?

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