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michelle1997
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Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses
What is a reasonable price range for bridesmaids' dresses? I have no clue as I've only been in one wedding and the bride's mother made the dresses so I only had to spend $60 for the fabric.I found a dress I really like but it's $265 and I know that is steep for a few of my bridesmaids. Should I look for some less expensive dresses or is this a reasonable amount to ask them to spend?
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Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses
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So you'd tell your friend that because you have expensive taste and didn't ask her for her budget, she should just not be a BM?
Ask your BMs in advance for their budgets and THEN pick out the attire.
A $260 BM dress borders on the absurd in price.
[QUOTE]My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260. I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well. The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy. Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress. I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost. If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be. I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.)
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]
im confused, so the dress is more important than your friends? Most of the dresses I like are $250 and up (Alvina Valenta, Hjelm, Wang) so once I ask my maids their budget I'll pay the difference of the lowest budget. So like if dress costs $300 and one BM budget is $90 and the others are $200, I will put $210 towards everyones dress. I think that's the most fair way to do it if you don't want to pick a less expensive dress.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cost of Bridesmaids' Dresses : im confused, so the dress is more important than your friends? <strong>Most of the dresses I like are $250 and up (Alvina Valenta, Hjelm, Wang) so once I ask my maids their budget I'll pay the difference of the lowest budget.</strong> So like if dress costs $300 and one BM budget is $90 and the others are $200, I will put $210 towards everyones dress. I think that's the most fair way to do it if you don't want to pick a less expensive dress.
Posted by jeanna85[/QUOTE]
This is really generous and also appropriate. Good for you.
[QUOTE]My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260. I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well. The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy. <strong>Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress.</strong> I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost. <strong>If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be.</strong> I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.)
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]
This is neither and is just ridiculous. Aside from what PPs have said (seriously, you don't want your best friends standing up for you if they can't swing the cost? they're not very good friends then), what if that dress doesn't look good on everyone? You sound pretty pompous if you and a friend are deciding what you think another friend would be willing to invest in. Nobody decides my investments except me.
OP, find out your friends' budgets individually first, then pick a dress that looks good on them and is in their budgets. I think anything much over $200 is a lot unless your friends have a lot of money. Would I buy a $260 dress for a friend's wedding if I could afford it? Yes, but it would hurt my heart. Would I really appreciate it being more like $160? Also yes.
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[QUOTE]My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260. I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well. The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy. Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress. I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost. If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be. I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.)
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]
Don't fool yourself into thinking that your BM dress is wearable again - 95% of them aren't.
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[QUOTE]My Melissa Sweet dresses for the bridesmaids are $260. I got them a 15% discount by buying my wedding dress at Priscilla as well. The dress I selected is wearable again and not too bridesmaidy. Though more expensive, my maid of honor and I felt the other bridesmaid would willing to invest in the dress. I haven't asked my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids yet, but when I do, I have an estimate of what it will cost. If they're not interested in being bridesmaids because of costs, they don't have to be. I can offer to include them in the wedding in some other way (like they can do a toast, be a greeter, etc.)
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]
<div>Wow. I knew people get ridiculous about their weddings, but to flat out tell your friends that a dress is more important than they are, wow. You should be ashamed. </div>
Allowing them to choose and talking to them first about it prevents any bitterness towards spending too much!
Before people start calling me pompous, just realize I wrote that message in a hurry and I'm not going to phrase things that way to them. I also wrote my reponse right after I woke up, and I was pretty groggy and out of it from getting four hours of sleep, hehe. :-)
My friends are financially well off, and I'm having a formal wedding. I got them a discount on the dress, and it's one of the 5% of dresses that are wearable again. I haven't asked them to be my bridesmaids yet (except for two of them, and they love the dress so much they'd rather buy the super nice dress that requires $100 more than a cheaper dress they don't like and will throw out after one wedding). I also know it will go with all of their body types, because they're all petite like me.
I think it's also important to consider that $250 means different things in different parts of the country. In San Francisco where I'm from, everything just costs more. A dress costing $250 including taxes isn't as bad here where salaries are higher. You have to look at purchasing power parity where you live.
I was just presenting an alternative point of view to the issue. I think your other ideas are great. Definitely ask your bridesmaid for a price range and be respectful of that. But at least in my case, I would be bewildered by my bridesmaid if she complained of the dress being too expensive when she herself earns a lot of money, much more so than me. If she complains about that, I would get the sense that being a bridesmaid doesn't really mean much for her, and I can give her a smaller role in the wedding if she prefers. That's all I meant; I definitely would not put the dress above a friendship. :-)
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[QUOTE]I think it's also important to consider that $250 means different things in different parts of the country. In San Francisco where I'm from, everything just costs more. A dress costing $250 including taxes isn't as bad here where salaries are higher. You have to look at purchasing power parity where you live.
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]
I'm from the Bay Area. 2 of my BMs currently live and work in San Francisco. $250 is expensive. It's not outrageous, but it's not cheap. I still think anything over $200 is a lot, so the "well in SF things just cost more" argument doesn't sway me.
And I still think that it's inappropriate of you to decide for anyone else that something will be a good investment - that's my main issue. If your friends can afford a $250 dress or even a $400 dress then great! But until you ask them rather than assuming that because they make decent money (or at least appear to) they'll be ok shelling out a significant amount of cash on a BM dress, you don't get to say that.
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Her budget - as were the budgets of my other two BMs, was under $150 for a dress.
Don't base your selection on the area or what you think they can afford. Ask them for a budget and then go shopping.
However, I was deeply hurt and saddened by people telling me to be "ashamed of myself" and that I was "pompous." People in life always tell me I'm a very gracious, kind, and thoughtful individual, and posts online are easy to misinterpret. I wish you all knew the real "me" behind my posts. Hopefully, that would have avoided a misunderstanding.
I'm glad that you were able to look past those comments and take some good advice from all of this - I think that actually does say a lot to the kind of person you are, and I like it.
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