Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
New Discussion

Pagan / Christian Wedding

akuheiakuhei
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Alright, here is the delima. I was raised Christian (southern baptist) and both of my parents are heavy believers. I don't know exactly what I would be called, because even though my beliefs are based in Christianity, I draw beliefs from other religions as well.

My fiance is Pagan. His family is Christian, but he chose his own path when he was younger.  The fact that he is Pagan doesn't bother me, as I said, I draw from different beliefs and don't begrudge anyone for their personal choice.

My concern is how to approach the topic during the wedding planning. My parents do not know that he is Pagan (although a nonpractioner) and I'm not entirely sure how they would react to the information.

We've already discussed issues relating to differences in religion (i.e. children, the ceremony, etc).  So, I know that we are on even ground, I'm just more worried about my parents and their reaction.  Especially since this is a recent engagement (less than a week).

Any advice?

Thanks!

Jennifer
Report Reply to Post

Re: Pagan / Christian Wedding

  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    Your wedding should be a reflection of your own beliefs, not those of your parents.  My DH and I are pagan, my mom is jewish, my dad is catholic and his parents are christian.  We had a handfasting, We explained to our parents that the ceremony reflected our beliefs and that it was a "traditional" ceremony, as handfastings were weddings before weddings became a function of the church or state.   We did "tone it down" a bit so it was not so "ritualistic though.  My dad tried to get us to marry in a unitarian church because its "all encompassing", but DH explained to him that we aren't christian, so we would not be doing that.  The full text is in my planning bio, pics in wedding bio

    Decide what is important to the two of you and stick to your choice.  If parents claim that they won't attend, tell them that they will be missed.  This is your wedding, not theirs.
    Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
    http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
    image
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • waterflywaterfly
    10 Comments
    Actually, UU churches cover all paths, including christians, pagans, buddhists, and even agnostics, atheists, and post-theists among their numbers.

    My FI and I had a similar problem, since he's atheist/non-practicing UU and I'm pagan(of an odd variety), but the majority of my extended family tends toward Southern Baptist and don't know my beliefs.  When we wrote our ceremony and vows, we went with a number of nature-references, and asked for the blessings of our families and the universe, with no mention of any one specific deity.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • rahkstarrahkstar
    100 Comments
    i'm pagan, and my fiance is an agnostic, with most of his family being methodist and most of mine being...non-religious?  so we decided to get married in a unitarian church, since they are accepting of all religions.  we're incorporating a handfasting into the ceremony and telling them it's origins and linking the phrase "tying the knot." 

    as for how to tell the family, i don't really think of it as a huge "issue" per se.  his family was curious about me, but we mentioned it offhand and they'd already had a chance to get to know me.  i honestly answer any questions they have, and they've been very accepting.  i think maybe that if you don't make a big deal about it, they won't either.  i'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!  good luck!
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards