Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Snarky Brides
Snarky Brides
New Discussion
Options

Let's read minds!

AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
in Snarky Brides
So I have a confusing situation I'd like some snarky input on.

I have posted a bit about my ex before but here's a quick refresher - I dated a douchebag I will call "Jim" for six years and at the end of the summer in 2008, I finally left him.  Even though it looked really bad after ending a very long relationship, I immediately started dating again by getting back together with my high school boyfriend, whom Jim has never liked (and it never had anything to do with me - they just hated each other).

So long story short - it was messy for a while.  But who cares, old-flame was better for me, and now we're getting married.  Woot.

ANYWAY - I was really good friends with all Jim's friends, and since the breakup, when I see them around, we are friendly - but of course we never hang out anymore.  One of his friends, I'll call him "Dan," is getting married at the end of next month and he sent me a facebook message a couple weeks ago asking for my address because his fiance "Jane" wanted to invite me (although I'm not sure why... since I've only ever met Jane a couple times, and it was when I was still dating Jim). 

So as I waited for this invite, I couldn't help but wonder if it would be addressed to myself and my fiance, to myself and a guest, or just to me.  I could understand why they would want me to come to the wedding - but was curious as to whether or not they'd want me to bring my fiance.  Jim is a groomsman in the wedding.

Sure enough, when I got the invite - it was only addressed to me.  I don't know how to feel about it.  I can understand that they may feel it would be uncomfortable for Jim if I showed up to this wedding with my fiance, so that's why they left him off.  But surely they can't expect that I'd go to a wedding with all these old friends, and Jim, and show up alone.  I'm getting married, for sh!t's sake.  It's not like I'm casually dating or whatever.

My mother thinks they invited only me because they think if I show up alone, it would give Jim an opportunity to talk to me and try and get me back.  I don't really see it that way, but I'm not sure how to take it.  At any rate - I'm not going to the wedding, since my fiance and I are flying out on a vacation that day.

If you were them - what do you think your reasoning would be?
panther
Report Reply to Post
«1

Re: Let's read minds!

  • Options
    J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    WHy does it really matter what their reasoning is?

    But, since you asked, my guess is that they wanted you there because you used to kind of be friends and they want more presents.  They didn't invite your FI because he won't bring a gift and they don't know him and they don't want to pay for that jerk to come eat their food and drink their alcohol if he's not bringing a gift.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    First Comment
    Well, you're not going. So why does it matter?
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MarriedInAFeverMarriedInAFever member
    First Comment
    I think J&K is right on the money. If you want to go, I would go and not read so much into it. I really kinda doubt this is a "get the girl back" plot.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    Maybe Jim asked them not to include your FI on the invite. Maybe your mom is right. Or maybe they are just rude people. Who knows. I'm leaning towards rude people who probably left your FI out because you hooked up with him right after the breakup. They'll always take Jim's side on that, so of course they'd leave your FI out.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    It doesn't matter.

    But I really, really enjoy wasting my time wondering about pointless things, and enjoy forcing other people to do it as well. 

    Also - J&K, we all went to high school together, so... they all know my fiance pretty well.  I never thought about the gift thing, but if I was going, and I brought a gift, why would they care?  I mean... it's not like people bring one gift per person to weddings?
    panther
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MarriedInAFeverMarriedInAFever member
    First Comment

    Oh, I missed that part. You're not going? Who cares then.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    Am I the only one in this thread that was here for MrsD wishing she didn't invite plus ones because they didn't bring her any presents?

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker

    Maybe it's really a surprise birthday party for you.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    jens_a_tenjens_a_ten
    First Comment
    I'd go alone, wearing my engagement ring, and look really hot and happy. But I'm a hoar like that.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment

    My mother thinks they invited only me because they think if I show up alone, it would give Jim an opportunity to talk to me and try and get me back.

    I know she's your mom and thinks the world revolves around you, but jesus. you guys getting back together is probably not at the top of their wedding to-do list.
    image
    {pwanning}{mawwied}
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MarriedInAFeverMarriedInAFever member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:f0dc8a85-ec42-441f-ab64-d2f873a41805">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Am I the only one in this thread that was here for MrsD wishing she didn't invite plus ones because they didn't bring her any presents?
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    I remember that. Then she revealed this is her second marriage and she's in her 40s or 50s. Oh, MrsD, you should know better.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    OMG J&K - I definitely missed that one by MrsD.  Seriously?!

    Cew I never thought of it that way.  And what a bitch I am for ruining everything.
    panther
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheSaltyPeanutTheSaltyPeanut member
    First Comment
    I agree with J&K.

    Further, something is just weird about that entire situation.  If you have only met the bride a few times, it's really strange why she would REALLY really want you there. 

    Or maybe Jim is bringing a date and they all want to make you jealous / feel like crap???  How well do you really know them?
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:70086fa8-dafb-4736-a9a9-3d6746d06e10">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mother thinks they invited only me because they think if I show up alone, it would give Jim an opportunity to talk to me and try and get me back. I know she's your mom and thinks the world revolves around you, but jesus. you guys getting back together is probably not at the top of their wedding to-do list.
    Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]


    Lol - I know that.  My mother, though - that's a whole other subject.  I love her but she's probably clinically insane.
    panther
    Report Reply
  • Options
    CellesCelles member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:f0dc8a85-ec42-441f-ab64-d2f873a41805">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Am I the only one in this thread that was here for MrsD wishing she didn't invite plus ones because they didn't bring her any presents?
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    No, I saw what you did there. ;)
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:f48256b9-5712-486e-955d-df5b6ca16acc">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe it's really a surprise birthday party for you.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
    I hear Van Halen is coming out of retirement for it.
    image
    {pwanning}{mawwied}
    Report Reply
  • Options
    eastunder1eastunder1
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:890136b5-2b2f-4394-a24e-07db0f5ab720">Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>My mother thinks they invited only me because they think if I show up alone, it would give Jim an opportunity to talk to me and try and get me back. </strong> I don't really see it that way, but I'm not sure how to take it.  At any rate - I'm not going to the wedding, since my fiance and I are flying out on a vacation that day. If you were them - what do you think your reasoning would be?
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    I actually cringed in embarrassment for you when I read this.  This is ridiculous.  Worrying about this whole thing is ridiculous. 

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:1668551c-1879-4ab5-a161-b07e1385ba2f">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with J&K. Further, something is just weird about that entire situation.  If you have only met the bride a few times, it's really strange why she would REALLY really want you there.  Or maybe Jim is bringing a date and they all want to make you jealous / feel like crap???  How well do you really know them?
    Posted by TheSaltyPeanut[/QUOTE]


    I didn't think of that either... jeez.  I used to know them all really well but obviously not all that much anymore.  I don't think they'd do that but at this point, who really even knows. 

    Jim is a really, really arrogant douche lord and I know that if I did go to this wedding, and we had a conversation, it would most likely revolve around how well he's doing and that I have "no idea how successful" he is with his new high paying job. 
    panther
    Report Reply
  • Options
    J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:3acf4120-6cf5-45ed-bde6-934ecf8e5fec">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Let's read minds! : No, I saw what you did there. ;)
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    Thanks, Celles.  Someone gets me.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:8babe98f-d4a0-41b6-9b24-139c35dfabcd">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Let's read minds! : I actually cringed in embarrassment for you when I read this.  This is ridiculous.  Worrying about this whole thing is ridiculous. 
    Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

    I have countless stories with my mother's insideous theories about things.  She's nuts.

    Van Halen?  Maybe if they brought Jim Morrison back from the dead I'd show up, but not for Van Halen.
    panther
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MarriedInAFeverMarriedInAFever member
    First Comment

    If you're so curious, why don't you just go?

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    laladypoetlaladypoet member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    jim morrison would come but he doesn't want to get in the way of your reconciliation.
    image
    {pwanning}{mawwied}
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:fb279204-ce8d-4d18-89aa-c9290993cc57">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]jim morrison would come but he doesn't want to get in the way of your reconciliation.
    Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

    How polite of him.  Or moronic.

    Fever - I can't go because my fiance and I are flying to California on that day.  As you can tell I'm losing hours of sleep over this, too.
    panther
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MarriedInAFeverMarriedInAFever member
    First Comment
    I see. It looks like you're doomed to wonder for the rest of your days then.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    HappyTummy613HappyTummy613
    First Comment
    If anyone has the hots for you in this scenario, it's Jane.  She pushed for the invite.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    missy68missy68
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    J, I was just trying to dredge up the name, but I was in your brain.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
    Report Reply
  • Options
    salt78salt78 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:890136b5-2b2f-4394-a24e-07db0f5ab720">Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mother thinks they invited only me because they think if I show up alone, it would give Jim an opportunity to talk to me and try and get me back. 
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    <div>She also used to tell you that boys picked on you because they actually liked you, didn't she?</div>
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    goheels05goheels05
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:3fadc812-94ff-4791-b62c-8b5eb8eede6c">Re: Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]If anyone has the hots for you in this scenario, it's Jane.  She pushed for the invite.
    Posted by HappyTummy613[/QUOTE]


    Not sure if you've heard, but any talk of bisexuality is shunned here.

    shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
    Report Reply
  • Options
    lovetothinkpinklovetothinkpink
    First Comment
    Are you over Jim? Why do you care?
    image 76 Invited
    image 51 Ready to Party
    image 13 missing out
    image 12 need to hurry up!
    RSVP Date:November 1
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    My Planning Bio
    Report Reply
  • Options
    LindseyandBrian2011LindseyandBrian2011
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lets-read-minds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:970eb897-41a2-4ac4-880e-c234d3a9b470Post:890136b5-2b2f-4394-a24e-07db0f5ab720">Let's read minds!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I have a confusing situation I'd like some snarky input on. I have posted a bit about my ex before but here's a quick refresher - I dated a douchebag I will call "Jim" for six years and at the end of the summer in 2008, I finally left him.  Even though it looked really bad after ending a very long relationship, I immediately started dating again by getting back together with my high school boyfriend, whom Jim has never liked (and it never had anything to do with me - they just hated each other). So long story short - it was messy for a while.  But who cares, old-flame was better for me, and now we're getting married.  Woot. ANYWAY - I was really good friends with all Jim's friends, and since the breakup, when I see them around, we are friendly - but of course we never hang out anymore.  One of his friends, I'll call him "Dan," is getting married at the end of next month and he sent me a facebook message a couple weeks ago asking for my address because his fiance "Jane" wanted to invite me (although I'm not sure why... since I've only ever met Jane a couple times, and it was when I was still dating Jim).  So as I waited for this invite, I couldn't help but wonder if it would be addressed to myself and my fiance, to myself and a guest, or just to me.  I could understand why they would want me to come to the wedding - but was curious as to whether or not they'd want me to bring my fiance.  Jim is a groomsman in the wedding. Sure enough, when I got the invite - it was only addressed to me.  I don't know how to feel about it.  I can understand that they may feel it would be uncomfortable for Jim if I showed up to this wedding with my fiance, so that's why they left him off.  But surely they can't expect that I'd go to a wedding with all these old friends, and Jim, and show up alone.  I'm getting married, for sh!t's sake.  It's not like I'm casually dating or whatever. My mother thinks they invited only me because they think if I show up alone, it would give Jim an opportunity to talk to me and try and get me back.  I don't really see it that way, but I'm not sure how to take it.  At any rate - I'm not going to the wedding, since my fiance and I are flying out on a vacation that day. If you were them - what do you think your reasoning would be?
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>"Dan" could have been playing it off that "jane" is the one who wanted to invite you when really it was him that wanted to invite you. But he would not want your fiance there bc it would be weird for "Jim" 

    </div>
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards