Snarky Brides
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Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)

Just a word of warning, this post is full of biitching and whining.



I just found out that my 19 year old sister is pregnant today.

By a boy that she dated for a total of 2 weeks, who dumped her by changing his FB status to single. 

She planned it.

I got the news and couldn't decided whether I should laugh, or cry. She's always been the golden child that can do no wrong (in her Mommy and Daddy's eyes), and its just...hilarious on one hand.

On the other hand, I'm heartbroken. While I have never been "officially" diagnosed, I have all the symptoms of Polycystic Ovarian Sydrome (irregular periods, unsusual hair growth, weight gain, etc), and one of my worst fears is that I can't have children. I'm 26, have never been on the pill, have had more unprotected sex than I care to admit...and over the years have had 4 miscarriages...no successful pregnancies. 

FI doesn't get why it bothers me so much. He thinks that until a doctor diagnoses me with something, I should just believe that nothing is wrong. 
He also thinks that I'm being childish by being jealous of her, but dammit, I am. She's never had to work for anything in her life, her Dad and Mom give her anything, they've bought her a brand new car, paid for her cosmetology degree, she's effing gorgeous, and has never had to worry about her weight....and now she gets to have a baby. All the usual hardships of single parenthood will be buffered, because whatever she can't pay for, her parents will. Mom owns a home daycare, so she'll of course watch the baby for her while she works. 

I know life isn't fair, but fuckit.
 It just isn't fair. 

(end biitching)

«1

Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)

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    Her dad and mom? Isnt that also your parents too?
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    Oh my.  I understand why you feel that way.  Her life is being handed to her by mommy and daddy paying for everything she wants, and now she gets to have a child and not worry about how it will be taken care of.  Try to laugh at it, and know that someday when you are pregnant, you will get to be a mother, not a teen who is passing her child to her parents to take care of it for her. 
  • Options
    Grits8812Grits8812 member
    First Comment
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:b506c84b-8e5b-484d-b66c-5f3c035c02b7">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Her dad and mom? Isnt that also your parents too?
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
    Oh good point.  I didn't catch that.  I guess I'm still a little out of it from being sick.
  • Options

    Are you the same girl with the cousin getting married at the same time with the same dress?

    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:b506c84b-8e5b-484d-b66c-5f3c035c02b7">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Her dad and mom? Isnt that also your parents too?
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Technically, we share a mother. I've taken to affectionately calling her the egg donor, and my father the sperm donor, because thats about all they've contributed my life. We have different fathers, her father is my stepfather. I was kicked out at 16. </div>
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:4ecf5bc6-2113-42a7-8f36-76ce45445221">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you the same girl with the cousin getting married at the same time with the same dress?
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Nope, not that I'm aware of. I have minimal contact with my family. I wouldn't care about a dress. </div>
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:e31fa2fe-4992-4c84-9eb6-f8c73d0474e3">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR) : Technically, we share a mother. I've taken to affectionately calling her the egg donor, and my father the sperm donor, because thats about all they've contributed my life. We have different fathers, her father is my stepfather. I was kicked out at 16. 
    Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]
    You share a mother and your father is the "sperm doner", but you dont share a father?
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:4f7f42b4-c520-49cd-9e1a-8be6e42901e9">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Over the past week,  I have decided you are a drama llama.
    Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Why thank you. </div>
  • Options
    I think someone needs to call Maury
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:4f7f42b4-c520-49cd-9e1a-8be6e42901e9">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Over the past week,  I have decided you are a drama llama.
    Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]
    Dangit.  I knew I was missing something here when I was sick all this past week.  
  • Options
    Blue... you are NOT the father!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:3ec8bcb8-f702-4c40-b2f7-157f5d83a776">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Blue... you are NOT the father!
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    Thats not what your mom said.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:0435dc71-531b-4db7-994e-76cc7388c9d5">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR) : You share a mother and your father is the "sperm doner", but you dont share a father?
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    <div>My father knocked my mother up, and then left, hence being a sperm donor. Mother remarried, had two other kids. She's a fantasic mother to them, but for whatever reason, has decided that her first two children are not worthy of having a mother. Whatever. I barely care about that. Its just heartbreaking to try to have a child over and over and to not be able to, .and then miss bratty mcsluttypants gets to have one. She looks at it like its a play thing. Her mother will wind up raising it. </div>
  • Options
    OP- Im having a hard time not judging you for all that unprotected sex.  Im hoping you were at least "trying" with just your FI?
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    It honestly doesnt seem like you "barely care". It seems like you actually harbour quite a lot of resentment towards her.

    Why would you try to have a kid over and over and not see a doctor about ti and get a proper diagnosis about any issues you may have?
  • Options
    If you have minimal contact with any of your family, how did you find out so quickly that your 19 year old sister is pregnant?
  • Options
    Also, I should hope that if youre having so much unprotected sex, you are being properly tested to make sure you arent contracting any diseases. Thats extremely unsafe behavior.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:ae959375-d266-4beb-b41c-1ecb91d6bf7c">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you have minimal contact with any of your family, how did you find out so quickly that your 19 year old sister is pregnant?
    Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

    Myspace
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:a35740b0-6834-40e2-a8f5-d2dbf4d70a93">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, I should hope that if youre having so much unprotected sex, you are being properly tested to make sure you arent contracting any diseases. Thats extremely unsafe behavior.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    Whatever Nebby.  The herp is awesome.  Everyones getting it.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:43f7bfee-6b5b-4047-83fd-e3146d7e42bf">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR) : My father knocked my mother up, and then left, hence being a sperm donor. Mother remarried, had two other kids. She's a fantasic mother to them, but for whatever reason, has decided that her first two children are not worthy of having a mother. Whatever. I barely care about that. Its just heartbreaking to try to have a child over and over and to not be able to, .and then miss bratty mcsluttypants gets to have one. She looks at it like its a play thing. <strong>Her mother will wind up raising it.</strong> 
    Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]

    This is your mother too, right? I'm getting confused with all the "her mom, her dad, my dad, my mom" stuff.

    Honestly, you see so emotionally detached from your family that I'm not sure why this bothers you. Or is it that you <em>want</em> to be emotionally detached, but can't break the connection?
  • Options
    There are things to help treat PCOS if it is properly diagnosed by a doctor. Would up your chances of getting pregnant. Having unprotected sex(unless you absolutely sure they are STD-free, by you both getting tested prior to engaging to sex) can also hamper your chances of getting pregnant. Why haven't you seen a doctor yet?
    image
  • Options
    If you dont care about your family this much, does it bother you when ANYONE gets pregnant? If you do Id seriously suggest you get some professional help over that. A lot of the behavior you are bringing up here does not sound healthy.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:43f7bfee-6b5b-4047-83fd-e3146d7e42bf">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR) : My father knocked my mother up, and then left, hence being a sperm donor. Mother remarried, had two other kids. She's a fantasic mother to them, but for whatever reason, has decided that her first two children are not worthy of having a mother. Whatever. I barely care about that. Its just heartbreaking to try to have a child over and over and to not be able to, .and then<strong><u> miss bratty mcsluttypants</u></strong> gets to have one. She looks at it like its a play thing. Her mother will wind up raising it. 
    Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]

    Ummm.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:452dee52-1d5e-4f02-99aa-199fb686c759">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP- Im having a hard time not judging you for all that unprotected sex.  Im hoping you were at least "trying" with just your FI?
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Judge away, dearie. I tried for 4 years with my first husband. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>As far as why I've never been to the doctor to be diagnosed, I work for a non-profit organization who's insurance only doctor visits...as far as "tests" go...its all out of pocket. I'd be covered if I was pregnant, but my insurance wont cover the testing to see if pregnancy is a possibility. </div>
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:4e7b88e4-b2ef-4ba7-bd89-744524286793">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR) : Myspace
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
    Haha.  Myspace.  I haven't heard anyone say that in forever!
  • Options
    Having a first husband changes my opinion.  You made it out to be that you were just whoring it up with all that unprotected sex.

    How old were you the first time you were married if you are only 26, were married for 4 years, and are about to get married again?
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    I should think that your physical and mental wellbeing should be important enough that youd just pay for the testing. Youre not doing yourself any favours here.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:e7fb9f74-2423-4602-83d5-bd9152623bb8">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I should think that your physical and mental wellbeing should be important enough that youd just pay for the testing. Youre not doing yourself any favours here.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
    I agree with this.  If I tried for 4 years to have a child and had no success, I would want answers.
  • Options
    I think figuring out a way to pay for testing is a much better plan than complaining that your sister got pregnant first.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_can-anyone-understand-why-i-feel-this-way-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ff32b37f-a9c3-4f8b-86db-b9066da272e8Post:0e7147b6-bfbe-4de6-86f2-0d8b286ef96d">Re: Can anyone understand why I feel this way? (NWR)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Having a first husband changes my opinion.  You made it out to be that you were just whoring it up with all that unprotected sex. How old were you the first time you were married if you are only 26, were married for 4 years, and are about to get married again?
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Married for the first time when I was 16, due to my parents kicking me out and having nowhere to go. My high school boyfriend offered to marry me, and that was that. I was young, and stupid, and wanted to have babies right away, and so, after I got my high school diploma at 17, we started trying.  Never happened for us. </div>
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