Snide Comments

solemnlyswear · April 2010

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jagore08 · April 2010

I think people wouldn't give "snide comments" if the OP bothered to look to see if their questions has been answered. And a lot of times brides need to be told to calm down and relax because we all get caught up in the stress of planning and sometimes we just need to step back and re-evaluate. A lot of times people view the comments as rude. Maybe if they didn't focus on the negative and read what the posters are saying they might actually stop and see that the advice they came on here for is right in front of their face.

Just my opinion. Not talking for anyone else on this board. But it never hurts to look at other people's questions first (or read the sticky post at the top of the forum page).

lharri12 · April 2010

Yeah, I agree to an extent, but a lot of the regulars on these boards get really tired of the same questions being asked over and over and over, sometimes multiple times on the same day. I understand that new people don't know that, and they just want to ask a question, but that is why they get those responses sometimes. And frankly, some of the questions are kind of ridiculous, such as, "can I kick out my flower girl?" Everyone should know that's not okay, even if they don't know to look lower down on the message board. I was attacked the first time I posted, and I was shocked at some of the responses, especially after I already conceded that they were right and that we needed to change what we were doing. (I still hold it against the person who was the most harsh and bitchy to me.) That being said, the ladies (and not-so-ladylike women) on these boards have good advice and know what they're talking about, if you can sift through the ugliness.

stina93446 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_snide-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0789996a-ad8c-489a-b523-abdbf6f26f64Post:84ffb8eb-65f9-4901-92c9-949c8d1311fe">Snide Comments</a>:
[QUOTE]I have reading some of these posts as I prepare for my big day....and I am appalled at some people. I have read a lot of good advice but I have also read some very immature things. People come on this message board to get advice and not to be attacked or called childish. Planning a wedding is stressful, obviously. The last thing all of these brides to be is someone being rude. I have read some posts the are MUD but it is YOUR day and you are putting a lot of MONEY and EFFORT into planning this one day. So I don't think that some of these requests and questions are to out of line. But I think it is out of line for someone to tell you to stop being a bridezilla when you are just asking a question or to give sarcastic comments. We are looking for help not more stress.
Posted by brittersdamod[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm sorry that you feel that way, but if the OPs would only lurk before asking questions that are previously already answered or just wrong, they would get gentler answers. Also, we can't help it if they get "butthurt" because we don't tell them that their bad etiquette is justified.

</div>

Licia&Wayne · April 2010

Alternately, I think some of the situations discussed on this board are only as stressful as you make them. Oftentimes it takes an outside person to say, "Let it go and move on. That situation isn't worth whining about," before a poster will realize, "Ugh, I hate this situation *deep breath* stop stressing over it. It isn't worth it."

Are some comments snarky? Of course. But I don't believe anyone is being malicious. I have to say, when I respond with something a little sharp-edged, it isn't with the intent to hurt anyone.

And I have to say, there are a lot of posts like this floating around on various boards. I don't know that I've ever seen them well-received. I mean, really, in the grand scheme of things, one post condemning a board for a general attitude that is more or less acceptable doesn't have a big impact on anything really.

ETA: The "you" I've used is a general you. I'm not talking about anyone in particular.

andy71781 · April 2010

I try to pretend that I am a date of a somebody at my wedding - somebody who doesn't love me and isn't crying because they are so happy at my wedding. What would they think of this situation? Because that person won't be able to tell you what they think. That is what TK is for.

stina93446 · April 2010

Why do I feel like you only spat that out at me?

As a reg, I actually enjoy writing brides back and when there IS wit/bite to it, it's in good form. I never name call....I can't even call someone "idiot" because I feel like it's name calling....I always say "that idea is idiotic" or "you're acting like an idiot."

And I agree with Andy. Yes, some of the stuff on here is somewhat hurtful, but better to hear it from strangers on the internet than your friends....also, your friends may not want to tell you the truth so as not to hurt your feelings. it's way better to get the answers here than piss off your friends, right?

pixiedust84 · April 2010

Oh for goodness sakes another one of these? Who cares?? I mean really - who cares if someone on the internet is rude?

Even if these ladies were mean for the sake of being mean (which they're not) WHO CARES! If you can't handle it then don't post! They don't know you, you shouldn't take it personally!

It seems if someone doesn't get immediate validation for a bad idea then they think everyone is just "being mean". They never consider that they actually may have a bad idea! Generally the way I've seen it is that people only start having attitude when the OP comes back and defends their bad idea. Or if there is a really ridiculous question (i.e. my BM is pregnant should I kick her out).

People need to know that this is the internet stop needing everyone in cyberland to be nice to you.

gottahavashorti · April 2010

[QUOTE]Just ignore it, noone is making you post.
Posted by brittersdamod[/QUOTE]
Then why not just skip reading the board if the posts are so "mean?"

I tend to find posts telling people they're mean or catty to be snarkier than most replies. The sarcasm doesn't usually come out unless there are 5 identical posts that can be seen without scrolling and snarky answers tend to come about when the followup post indicates pretty clearly that the OP is not open to other poster's ideas and is seeking validation for things that are rude.

stina93446 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_snide-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0789996a-ad8c-489a-b523-abdbf6f26f64Post:a8ae2968-ec83-4084-b441-691e5d253213">Re: Snide Comments</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh for goodness sakes another one of these? Who cares?? I mean really - who cares if someone on the internet is rude? Even if these ladies were mean for the sake of being mean (which they're not) WHO CARES! If you can't handle it then don't post! They don't know you, you shouldn't take it personally! It seems if someone doesn't get immediate validation for a bad idea then they think everyone is just "being mean". They never consider that they actually may have a bad idea! Generally the way I've seen it is that people only start having attitude when the OP comes back and defends their bad idea. Or if there is a really ridiculous question (i.e. my BM is pregnant should I kick her out). People need to know that this is the internet stop needing everyone in cyberland to be nice to you.
Posted by pixiedust84[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm in love!

</div>

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_snide-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0789996a-ad8c-489a-b523-abdbf6f26f64Post:84ffb8eb-65f9-4901-92c9-949c8d1311fe">Snide Comments</a>:
[QUOTE]I have reading some of these posts as I prepare for my big day....and I am appalled at some people. I have read a lot of good advice but I have also read some very immature things. People come on this message board to get advice and not to be attacked or called childish. Planning a wedding is stressful, obviously. The last thing all of these brides to be is someone being rude. I have read some posts the are MUD but it is YOUR day and you are putting a lot of MONEY and EFFORT into planning this one day. So I don't think that some of these requests and questions are to out of line. But I think it is out of line for someone to tell you to stop being a bridezilla when you are just asking a question or to give sarcastic comments. We are looking for help not more stress.
Posted by brittersdamod[/QUOTE]

I posted something very similar when I first joined. Just wait till you've been here a couple months. You'll understand.

pixiedust84 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_snide-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0789996a-ad8c-489a-b523-abdbf6f26f64Post:9421ad48-414e-4b83-bf68-ed41e70d071d">Re: Snide Comments</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Snide Comments : I'm in love!
Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]

Aww <3

mbcdefg · April 2010

A lot of this bridezilla bullshiit would be avoided in the first place if people just stopped whining about their precious feelings being hurt.

Licia&Wayne · April 2010

But Britters, for real, this post isn't going to class-up anything. It's the Internet. We're all strangers. Slapping us on the wrists and telling us we're rude because some have left harsh comments is pointless.

It's like pouring a glass of drinking water into the ocean and pretended you've made the whole thing drinkable. You're kidding yourself.

andy71781 · April 2010

You are kind of acting a little b****chy. Seriously when you start annoying posts like this - its what happens. What do you need to vent about? Mean people on TK? Probably not the best place to vent about it. Mean FMIL? Venue issues? Dress problems? Welcome to your venting spot.

solemnlyswear · April 2010

And last time I checked, I could make a post about any damn thing that came to mind.

andy71781 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_snide-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0789996a-ad8c-489a-b523-abdbf6f26f64Post:7e872ebe-1407-41cd-8e25-8ad0600cc998">Re: Snide Comments</a>:
[QUOTE]And last time I checked, I could make a post about any damn thing that came to mind.
Posted by brittersdamod[/QUOTE]
Hmmmm why did you delete it then?

solemnlyswear · April 2010

because its not worth the MUD thats why

gottahavashorti · April 2010

[QUOTE]because its not worth the MUD thats why
Posted by brittersdamod[/QUOTE]
I think you've got the wrong definition of MUD...

stina93446 · April 2010

And this is why I quoted....

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

The comments here do not equal MUD. I don't think you understand.

Also, you realize you were quoted so deleting does NOTHING?

solemnlyswear · April 2010

yes I do realize and please don't imply that I don't know what I;m talking about I am perfectly aware. And furthermore I was saying the whole post is MUD....I made it when I was having a bad day. Looking back I was hopingfor a little support about anything really. Not scorn That's right I made up my own drama.I admit it and I am sorry to have inconvenieced anyone. But if you already know what the post is about and you don't like I was saying I never made you click on this post.

gottahavashorti · April 2010

[QUOTE]yes I do realize and please don't imply that I don't know what I;m talking about I am perfectly aware. And furthermore I was saying the whole post is MUD....I made it when I was having a bad day. Looking back I was hopingfor a little support about anything really. Not scorn That's right I made up my own drama.I admit it and I am sorry to have inconvenieced anyone. But if you already know what the post is about and you don't like I was saying I never made you click on this post.
Posted by brittersdamod[/QUOTE]
Right, I still think you're confused about what MUD is. MUD is completely making something up for the purpose of starting drama. Not starting up drama over something that shoudn't be a big problem.

Say I posted "FI's sister got knocked up by my brother and rumor says he is cheating on my sister with his cousin. Now I can't even LOOK at him but I still want to invite her. I know you're supposed to invite live in SO's and they have been living together a year but is it okay if I don't invite my brother???" I don't even have a brother,let alone the rest of that story, so that would be MUD.

banana468 · April 2010

Ditto Gotta.

Making a post because you're having a bad day but that's still truthful isn't MUD.

Making a post that's just designed to stir the pot that has NO truth to it whatsoever IS MUD.

emilyinchile · April 2010

The thing that cracks me up about these posts is that the whole premise is that the regs are heartless bitches, no? So why would we suddenly change our behavior after being called out, since supposedly the entire issue is that we don't care what other people have to say?

CTGirl30 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_snide-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0789996a-ad8c-489a-b523-abdbf6f26f64Post:8bfc50dd-7abb-45c2-b3a3-e9a80e750d48">Re: Snide Comments</a>:
[QUOTE]The thing that cracks me up about these posts is that the whole premise is that the regs are heartless bitches, no? So why would we suddenly change our behavior after being called out, since supposedly the entire issue is that we don't care what other people have to say?
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

I have to agree, Emily...it's like every time someone posts something along these lines they're going to be the one to make everyone say - "Hmmm, you know - you're right. I see the light now. I have been a heartless b to the sensitive newbs and now I am going to do way more validating and no more honest advice giving since they don't want to hear the truth." ::sigh::

SarahPLiz · April 2010

damn, snide comments are my only talent, and you, someone I don't know, doesn't appreciate my efforts.

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat worms...
Bonus points if you can name the author.

stina93446 · April 2010

first you bite the heads off, then you suck the guts out, then you throw the rest away!

gottahavashorti · April 2010

itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms!

andy71781 · April 2010

squishy squishy squashy squashy WORMS!

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