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Wedding getting bigger than big

beachgal22beachgal22
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in Wedding Woes
My fiance and I are doing a beach wedding about five hours out of town and a month later we are having a reception back home.  We wanted to keep the wedding small and have a larger reception where we will invite everyone.  The save the dates went out and we invited about 30 couples/families for the wedding ceremony.  We did not intend on doing anything after the ceremony because the reception would be a month later.  Now we have almost all of our guests asking what we are doing after?  We really don't have the money to take everyone out to dinner or for drinks that night.  Am I wrong for inviting them and not having anything for them? Is there something I can do?   HELP!
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Re: Wedding getting bigger than big

  • McKenna2012McKenna2012 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You should do a cake and punch reception immediately following the ceremony.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Have a reception for your guests after the ceremony and cancel the party. You get one wedding on one day. Inviting people to a party a month after your wedding is just a gift-grab.
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    you're expecting people to drive a 10 hour round trip, probably stay overnight, and you're not even going to feed them? if i was onr of the 30-something "lucky" folks invited to your wedding, i'd be skipping out.
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  • beachgal22beachgal22
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Oh I didn't realize we were all wedding experts. McKena thanks for the advice, I like your idea and thanks for not being rude. 
    TheDuckis, it's not a gift grab the reception is for my elderly grandparents to celebrate our wedding because they can't travel- way to be ignorant. I actually won't even have a shower because I'm against someone giving me gifts twice.

    Barbie- it's a good thing you didn't make the list, because I wouldn't want a bitch like you at my wedding. 

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  • Melissa603Melissa603 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Definitely do a cocktail hour style reception or something similar after the ceremony. Especially as people are traveling that far, you'll want to do something on your big day!
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  • JordyanaJordyana member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-getting-bigger-big?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:00db08e2-11e4-47e6-bb93-1ab2dc00a951Post:e8d817c9-211d-4ebf-8058-c1b9db3daffe">Re: Wedding getting bigger than big</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh I didn't realize we were all wedding experts. McKena thanks for the advice, I like your idea and thanks for not being rude.  TheDuckis, it's not a gift grab the reception is for my elderly grandparents to celebrate our wedding because they can't travel- way to be ignorant. I actually won't even have a shower because I'm against someone giving me gifts twice. Barbie- it's a good thing you didn't make the list, because I wouldn't want a bitch like you at my wedding. 
    Posted by beachgal22[/QUOTE]

    You're new here, so I'll let you in a little secret: Dont' make enemies on here. Really, not a good idea.

    In response to your OP, you definitely need to do SOMETHING after your ceremony. Honestly, how long is a ceremony? An hour, tops? Add in all the hours they'll drive to your ceremony and it'd be unfair to your guests to not give them some sort of party afterward.

    Maybe go out to eat somewhere or have a cake and punch reception afterward. They're making a long trip to watch you get married. It would be very nice for you to do something to sort of thank them for coming.

    Good luck.
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  • absolutejosieabsolutejosie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I like the idea of doing a cocktail party with light hors d'orvers, and perhaps cake and coffee.
    I do think that doing something with your guests after the ceremony is the way to go, as people are going to want to spend your special day with you and your new husband.
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-getting-bigger-big?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:00db08e2-11e4-47e6-bb93-1ab2dc00a951Post:00c12a89-3358-43e5-bdd6-a68f51310557">Wedding getting bigger than big</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are doing a beach wedding about five hours out of town and a month later we are having a reception back home.  We wanted to keep the wedding small and have a larger reception where we will invite everyone.  The save the dates went out and we invited about 30 couples/families for the wedding ceremony.  We did not intend on doing anything after the ceremony because the reception would be a month later.  Now we have almost all of our guests asking what we are doing after?  We really don't have the money to take everyone out to dinner or for drinks that night.  <strong>Am I wrong for inviting them and not having anything for them? Is there something I can do?   HELP!
    </strong>Posted by beachgal22[/QUOTE]

    You asked for help, and you were given help - don't bitch because you don't like the advice provided.

    yes, you are wrong for having what is essentially a DW, and not taking care of your guests.

    is there something you can do?  yes. have a reception after the ceremony and cancel the party a month later, if you can only afford one. serve your wedding guests a FULL DINNER. They drove 10 hours and paid for a hotel, the least you can do is feed them a meal.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Yes you need to do something after the ceremony.  People will be driving 10+ hrs do something more than cake and coffee.  Feed them a meal!
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You're hosting an event.
    SO you have to be a hostess.  which means you FEED YOIUR GUESTS
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  • aubrimaubrim member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I would do something minimal, maybe meet up at a local bar after, OR do a champagne brunch before. Especially if everyone is staying in the same area, it could cut costs and lets everyone celebrate with you while still leting people decide what they want to do with their trip.

    Good for you for doing something special for your family members who can't neccesarily make it to the wedding.

    I look at this like a destination wedding. If people want to come and share that special time with you, they will do so becuase they care about you. Not because they want an open bar and 4 course meal.

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