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May 2013 Weddings
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Bridal Salon Visit. And Mama Drama. Long.!

shano06shano06
500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
in May 2013 Weddings

I have an appointment at a salon Saturday to get my sisters measured. I'm taking the other bridesmaids later on in the month. I had to do my sisters early cuz my oldest is about 3mnths pregnant and I need to catch her before the baby starts poking out to get an accurate measurement. My little sister is going bck to college soon, so I need to measure her while she's still here. The others can go at anytime. I just ddnt want a million ppl in the salon with me. ANYWAYS, I can't purchase my dress yet cuz I used my dress money on a venue payment and some decoration packages. Lol. Oops. Plus I just got off medical so I couldn't go till this month anyway. So, now I'm purchasing my dress next month. We'll see how successful I am going in this salon and not trying on any dresses for me. Cuz I know for sure that my dress is in this store. *sigh*

So if yall remember a couple months ago, my mom told me she wasnt participating in anything wedding related because FI's twin sister, who happens to be gay, is his best man. She said she's completely against it, its not right, blah blah. And she thinks that I'm going against her, choosing FI over her in this decision. WHAT THE WHAT.?! Choosing FI over yu.?? Lady I'm getting married. I support my husband, and the only person that's against it is yu. Yall they got in a full argument about it in MY LIVING ROOM. I told Ma just go home cuz its no winning this convo. Just agree to disagree. FI tried to tell her its not biblical, its not like its a gay marraige, yu just dnt like the idea. So long story short she said its not right to have a woman, who is confused about her sexuality, even if she wsnt gay a woman period should not be your best man. And if that's how my wedding is going to be then she dsnt want any part of it. No wedding talks, no wedding dress shopping, no help, no nothing. She dsnt even want to come. Like really.?! You're gonna miss your daughter's wedding because of something I can't control.?? That's FI's Best Man. That's HIS DECISION. I'm standing my ground on this sorry. So I just talk to my daddy about it. If she misses it thats on her, I'm not gonna have anything to say to her for a while if she does.

Anyways, I was trying to figure out if I should still tell her about the upcoming shopping experience. As much as I hate her decision, I'm still hurt about it and would love for her to change her mind and participate. And I dnt want her to say oh you should have told me you were going dress shopping. One time when I was venue searching she called me with a place. And would bring up episodes of Say Yes To The Dress randomly to me. So I know she wants to be apart of it. She just wants me to do the shxt her way. Idk. Should I tell her.?? I could text her about it and avoid conversation. I HATE confrontation yall.

Sorry for the essay. Lol.

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Re: Bridal Salon Visit. And Mama Drama. Long.!

  • aprahamian2aprahamian2
    500 Comments
    edited August 2012
     Anyways, I was trying to figure out if I should still tell her about the upcoming shopping experience. As much as I hate her decision, I'm still hurt about it and would love for her to change her mind and participate. And I dnt want her to say oh you should have told me you were going dress shopping. One time when I was venue searching she called me with a place. And would bring up episodes of Say Yes To The Dress randomly to me. So I know she wants to be apart of it. She just wants me to do the shxt her way. Idk. Should I tell her.?? Sorry for the essay. Lol.
    Posted by shano06[/QUOTE]

    I would let her know, and hope she does change her mind. It is a shame you are going through this but at the end of the day, she is your mother, and I feel that you should at least invite her to shop with you. If she declines, then she declines. I hope that she changes her mind about the situation and supports you, your FI, and his brother. 
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  • shano06shano06
    500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited August 2012

    In Response to Re: Bridal Salon Visit. And Mama Drama. Long.!:
    [/QUOTE] I would let her know, and hope she does change her mind. It is a shame you are going through this but at the end of the day, she is your mother, and I feel that you should at least invite her to shop with you. If she declines, then she declines. I hope that she changes her mind about the situation and supports you, your FI, and his brother.
    Posted by aprahamian2[/QUOTE]

    Thanks. I hope she changes her mind too, but I think that's the problem. I'd be even more hurt to hear her decline. That's why I ddnt want to ask, cuz I ddnt want to hear her say no. But you're right she IS my mom.

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  • lgoin1lgoin1 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    That's awful.  Talk to your mom, and tell her how hurt you are.  It's YOUR wedding, not your FSILs.  If your mom doesn't want to be a part of YOUR wedding due to ONE person who is a very important guest of your FI, then fine.  But you need to be clear with her about how you feel and what message she is sending you AND the other family you are going to be a part of.  She makes it seem as though her affection or respect are completely conditional (which is VERY insincere). I would talk to her first, and invite her to shop based on her reaction.
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  • melb2013melb2013 member
    2500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.  Honestly, I don't think I would ask her to participate in anything wedding related.  Just let things go- let her simmer.  Hopefully she will eventually come around and come and support you at your wedding.

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  • FLGatorGal88FLGatorGal88 member
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    IMO I don't think I would start a full blown convo on going dress shopping since she says she doesn't want to be apart of it. I would just send a txt saying hey I am going dress shopping if you wanna come meet me here at blah blah time at wherever. Then she can respond or not her choice. I truly hope she will come around.
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  • turtlesloveturtleslove
    500 Comments First Anniversary

    THis may seem kind of rude to some of you, but I would actually not tell her until after. If she doesn't want to be a part of the wedding let her get a taste of what it will feel like. I know you want your mother there, but my personal feeling is I would much rather have her miss out on the smaller occasion, not the actual wedding. IF she asks why you didn't tell her about the appointment, well it's because she said she didn't want any part.
    Does she realise that there are straight women that are best men and straight men that are MOH?
    I don't envy you girl, and you definitely don't need this kind of added stress. I'm so sorry.

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  • shano06shano06
    500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_bridal-salon-visit-and-mama-drama-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:8200a289-0582-4d12-bdca-5cf3b90baac9Post:2830dbb5-7eec-4077-a5b5-f4f2f421da3c">Re: Bridal Salon Visit. And Mama Drama. Long.!</a>:
    [QUOTE]THis may seem kind of rude to some of you, but I would actually not tell her until after. <strong>If she doesn't want to be a part of the wedding let her get a taste of what it will feel like.</strong> I know you want your mother there, but my personal feeling is I would much rather have her miss out on the smaller occasion, not the actual wedding. IF she asks why you didn't tell her about the appointment, well it's because she said she didn't want any part. <strong>Does she realise that there are straight women that are best men and straight men that are MOH?</strong> I don't envy you girl, and you definitely don't need this kind of added stress. I'm so sorry.
    Posted by turtleslove[/QUOTE]

    That was my first thought. 'I should leave her out so she can realize what she just did.' Like you said, its better to miss small things than the wedding. Its just a shame that I have this problem. I'm kind of scared to even bring it up to her. Cuz what if I tell her about it, and then she declines. Then my feelings will be hurt all over again.

    And this was one of FI's arguments with her. We have been to weddings with a Man of Honor. Ppl do that now. Its 2012. There ARE such things as non-traditional brides. IMO, the person that stands next to yu should be the person closest to yu. And in FI's case, that's his twin sister. She said she dsnt care what other ppl do at their weddings. She only cares about mine and she dsnt support it.
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_bridal-salon-visit-and-mama-drama-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:8200a289-0582-4d12-bdca-5cf3b90baac9Post:0ae9f1b5-f0c0-43b8-97f7-7f82d9bc2d5d">Re: Bridal Salon Visit. And Mama Drama. Long.!</a>:
    [QUOTE]That's awful.  Talk to your mom, and tell her how hurt you are.  It's YOUR wedding, not your FSILs.  If your mom doesn't want to be a part of YOUR wedding due to ONE person who is a very important guest of your FI, then fine.  But you need to be clear with her about how you feel and what message she is sending you AND the other family you are going to be a part of.  She makes it seem as though her affection or respect are completely conditional (which is VERY insincere). I would talk to her first, and invite her to shop based on her reaction.
    Posted by lgoin[/QUOTE]
    I completely agree with this.<div>
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