Don't love my dress... what to do?!

Re: Don't love my dress... what to do?!

• willywally5 member

  

  June 2012

  If you are an easy-to-find size and don't mind a sample, you might be able to fine one in time. But I'd start NOW!

  

  Report0 Reply
• Summer2011Bride member

  

  June 2012 edited June 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dont-love-my-dress-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:763363ad-b4a7-43ac-b3b3-f4c65628643cPost:6ad48a86-1dd0-4093-9fd4-f7be576e08b9">Don't love my dress... what to do?!</a>:
  [QUOTE]I bought my dress back in January after feeling a lot of outside pressure.  Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful dress and has a lot of the elements I was looking for.  But it doesn't make me feel all that beautiful, you know?  Also, I'm pretty sure my consultant at DB used a Jedi mind trick to get me to buy it. Anyway, now my wedding is 2 months away and I'm freaking out<strong>(this was a recent realization after watching one too many people cry happy tears after finding THE dress)...</strong> I don't have a specific other dress in mind, but don't know if it's too late to go shopping again?  Has anyone else had this dilemma and had good luck selling their unused/not altered dress somewhere?
  Posted by karajohnson17[/QUOTE]
  
  The bolded part makes me want to tell you to keep the dress you have. Shows like SYTTD are not always realistic; many people never cry happy tears when they find their wedding dress; I did not. I don't think I've ever cried over a piece of clothing, actually. the fact that you didn't realize you thought you wanted another dress until after watching these shows makes me think you feel pressured to have that reaction, but the truth is, you may never have that reaction!
  
  I always advise people to stop looking at wedding dresses or watching dress shows once they find their dress (until after the wedding). Many brides would have dress regret otherwise, because you will always find another dress you LOVE and re-think the one you bought. Especially because you say you have no other dress really in mind and do like aspects of your dress I would probably keep it. Stop looking at dresses and remember what it is you like about this dress. If you try it on again and just absolutely hate it, then I would consider trying to find one off the rack.
  
  ETA I didn't feel all that special in my dress during my fittings either, but on the wedding day with hair and makeup and jewelry, I definitely felt beautiful.

  
  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• dewingedpixie member

  

  June 2012 edited June 2012

  I think the women on those shows are one of three categories.
  
  1. They are emotional and thus picked for the show.
  2. They are drama queens and want their 15 seconds and live it up to the fullest thus again picked for the show.
  3. They are told what is expected of them when they are picked for the show.
  
  That being said I am emotional and very sentimental, and I did not cry. I did however know the moment I saw my dress even though it was everything I thought I didnt want that it was my dress. I tried on 5 others at the store too and though they were pretty only this one had me literally beaming, I however as stated did not cry. I expect the crying to occur fall 2013. I've looked at other dresses since then and honestly after 2 months I still know this is my dress like all the previous dresses I looked at online and in shop windows I find something I just dont like. I've always been picky like that though so once I find exactly what I want it usually seals the deal and I see nothing but what I dont like in everything else.
  
  That being said I think you should keep your dress and maybe talk to a seamstress. She maybe able to make some tweaks with the cut, add straps a shawl etc that will make you feel wow.

  

  Report0 Reply
• JoeAnne2013 member

  

  June 2012

  Just keep the dress, perhaps get some awesome accessories that make you feel glamorous/beautiful.

  

  Report0 Reply
• csweaney member

  

  June 2012

  Did you feel beautiful in the dress when you bought it? If paired with the right accessories, is it everything you were looking for in a dress? If not, whats missing? Do you have body image issues that may be skewing your view of yourself in the dress? Do other people not like your dress, or are you the only one?

  
  

  I work at a bridal store and in all the many months I have worked there I only had one bride cry when she found her dress. All the other brides were happy, and walked out having purchased their dream gown, but no tears. Crying is not the norm by any stretch of the imagination. 

  
  

  It might help you to go to some stores and start looking exclusively at the dresses they will sell as samples, but even then 2 months is not very much time to get anything altered. I would take a good look at yourself in the dress again and reevlauate your feelings toward it and how you feel about yourself in it before doing anything drastic. 

  

  Report0 Reply
• lb1212

  

  June 2012

  I agree with the not crying.  I looked at 3 different bridal salons, but kept coming back to this one dress.  I was hesitant to make a final decision because I wasn't in tears!  Thankfully, my MOH talked some sense into me or else I would still be looking!  There's only been one time I've even remotely teared up.  I was showing my MOH the hair piece and earrings I'd bought for the wedding and was wearing a faux veil from one of my showers and FI walked in.  He got teary!!  So naturally I did too!

  

  Report0 Reply
• karajohnson17 member

  

  June 2012

  Thanks everyone for the thoughts and support!
  
  I'm ok that I didn't have tears... I would, however, like to feel beautiful in my dress which I frankly don't remember thinking when I bought it.  I just thought it looked alright.
  
  Yes, I think there are some body issues there that aren't helping the matter.  I've been working on eating better and exercising more without much progress.  That's definitely not helping things!
  
  I have an appointment with a consignment shop later this week to see what they have.  I'm sure I'll end up keeping what I've got.  Thanks again!

  Report0 Reply
• kmleon83

  

  June 2012

  I pretty much went through the same thing. And I also feel like my DB consultant tricked me into just to make the sale!
  
  I realized this in May (my wedding is in Sept) and went to DB and they allowed me to exchange it after I had already had the dress for 6 months. I found an amazing dress and even though they had to order it, it was available for pick up within 3 weeks!
  
  I was just really unhappy with my initial dress and it kinda hit me out of nowhere. The first dress really wasn't me (too much sparkle/beading/crystals for my liking so I'm still wondering HOW I wound up buying it in the first place!).
  
  I wish you luck! I know how stressed I was so I feel you..you're going to be absolutely beautiful regardless of your decision! Keep us posted!

  -kristine!
  
  233 made the cut!
  186 are ready to party!
  47 are party poopers!
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply