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It's not Tuesday but I have a WP Issue

mlynn1223mlynn1223
100 Comments
in Wedding Party
A little background - my FI and I have been engaged since 12/23/2010.  Our WP has been set since Feb. 2011.  That is over a year ago.  To make a long story short one of our GM (we only have 3BM and 3GM) is not sure if he can do it anymore because his wife is almost 1 trimester pregnant.  They live in Phoenix, the wedding is in Detroit.  I understand her not going but I am not sure why he is backing out.  We already have his tux and embroidered gift.  The wedding is just under 2 months away.  My question is, if he decides not to be a part of the wedding do we replace him or go with uneven sides?  This means we will not be able to do the bridal party dance unless we let the BM without the GM bring up their date.  Which poses another question, who do I pair with whom and what do I do with the gift?  The MOH is my sister and the BM is my brother in law so they would remain paired.  The other GM is FI's brother and BM is FI's sister.  My third BM is my cousin.  I was going to pair FI's sister with this guy who is debating leaving and my cousin with FI's brother.  Can I pair a brother and sister or is that weird?  I am very irritated.  Opinions?  Suggestions?
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Re: It's not Tuesday but I have a WP Issue

  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    For the love of holey sneakers, don't do a bridal party dance.  Nobody in the history of ever has relished the idea of dancing with a relative stranger in front of a bunch of other strangers in clothing that they wouldn't choose to wear if given the choice. 



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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2012
    Why are we saying "she is almost 1 trimester pregnant?"  That's weird English.

    Anyway, if the groomsman doesn't want to come, then he doesn't have to go.  Your wedding is not the center of his universe.  For what it's worth, I agree that it's weird that he won't travel either with or without her for something that he has committed to, but I also don't know all the details.  Maybe she's really sick with morning sickness or just doesn't want to be alone.  Who knows? 

    Have uneven sides.  Everything will be fine. 

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  • rlavachrlavach member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Well, this is quite a mess. For whoever may be reading this post in the future, this is what happens when you ask your bridal party >1yr out from the wedding. Life changes and causes your decision to change. Perhaps if the OP had waited until about 6-9mo out to ask them, this GM wouldn't have accepted knowing that his wife would need his help.

    I agree with PP in not replacing him. That's just messed up. Although, I'm sure plenty of people will tell you to. It seems like so many are stuck on the even sides crap. When my MOH dropped out, you have no idea how many people told me to find some random person to "fill her spot." Heaven forbid I have uneven sides. People were suggesting everyone from acquaintances, to relatives, to future in-laws that I've never even met. People are just crazy.

    The very first thing that an in-law said when I told her that we had uneven sides was, 'GASP! But what will you do for the bridal party dance!?!' Her jaw dropped when I told her I wasn't having one. They're antiquaited and awkward. I hated it when I was a BM and I'm not doing that to my MOH. People need to move on! 

    Oh, and just toss the gift. Really, who wants an embroidered gift? Well, at least not me.

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  • andrea2473andrea2473 member
    500 Comments

    Don't replace him, skip the dance, give him his gift.   You still intended on having him and he has a legitimite reason for not going. 

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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    The only pair people expect to bangity bang the night of your wedding is you two.  The brother and sister walking together is not at all weird; and might make them more comfortable than walking with people they barely know.  At least that way they could whisper to each other as they walk how ridiculous it is to have a paired-off WP dance.

    For reals, everything PPs have said.  And either have FIs sister and your cousin walk with FI's brother or have the guys up front at the start, the girls walk in solo, and have them go every other girl-boy-girl-boy-girl for the exit.

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  • SugarFooteSugarFoote
    500 Comments
    edited April 2012
    Holy farts! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT do a bridal party dance...You may think while you are up there dancing that people are interested in how talented you are...but in reality...They are laughing at you for making a complete fool of yourself and trying to be like a 1970's bride or something...Honestly I would probably record it and plaster it all over facebook and laugh myself to death...Just sayin...
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  • Belle0000Belle0000
    100 Comments
    edited April 2012
    DON'T do a bridal party dance.  I had to participate in one once and it was AWFUL.  The GM had recently been released from prison and held me waaaay too close during the dance. 

    I'm not saying that you'll have such a creeper in your WP, but a dance is sooo uncomfortable and awkward for everyone involved....including the dates of the WP who have to watch their spouse/SO dance with someone else. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Bridal party dances are the worst. When I was in my aunt's wedding I was the youngest BM (18) and the GM were all over 30 and married with children. Being ordered out on the dance floor to dance with these people who you've never met is very uncomfortable and nerve-wracking. Please don't do that to them! 
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  • rlavachrlavach member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_its-not-tuesday-but-i-have-a-wp-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:517811bd-8f2a-4ce9-bcba-de43491c6b41Post:28b63ed1-7296-4555-9c29-f1414a550a61">Re: It's not Tuesday but I have a WP Issue</a>:
    [QUOTE]DON'T do a bridal party dance.  I had to participate in one once and it was AWFUL.  The GM had recently been released from prison and held me waaaay too close during the dance.  I'm not saying that you'll have such a creeper in your WP, but a dance is sooo uncomfortable and awkward for everyone involved....including the dates of the WP who have to watch their spouse/SO dance with someone else. 
    Posted by Belle0000[/QUOTE]
    WHOA, now that's awkward. I was only a BM once & got stuck dancing with the groom's brother. He was as tall as a tree & since I was the tallest BM, I got stuck with him. We met for the first time that night & he didn't speak English. So telling him to start/stop, where to stand, all of that was super annoying. 

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