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Age cut off for a +1?

Kate61487Kate61487 member
2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So FI and I are inviting everyone in a relationship with their s/o - regardless of relationship length, if they're seeing someone the day the invite goes in the envelope, they get a +1.  I don't feel like judging anyone's relationship.

However, I just saw on FB that FI's 16 yr old cousin is 'in a relationship'.  Obviously she's still in highschool; we were planning to just include her on her parents invite. 

It is b*tchy of me to say under 18 doesn't count?  She also lives in NY and would be flying into Chicago for the wedding (if they come) and I feel like for sure at 16 my parents would not be okay with a boyfriend making that trip too.

But then I think about the fact that he has another 17 yr old cousin who's local, and if she was dating someone I'd probably let her bring him.  WWYD?

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Re: Age cut off for a +1?

  • rachael.bakerrachael.baker
    10 Comments
    I think since you're inviting her as a part of her parents invitation, then you don't even need to worry about her +1. And at 16, she may very well not even be with the boy at the time of your wedding, as well as her parents may view it as odd that you're inviting their teenage daughter's boyfriend to an OOT wedding.

    I hope this helps!
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  • McKenna2012McKenna2012 member
    100 Comments
    I wouldn't let her bring him. For me, the question of where he sleeps comes into play as well as what the pps have said. 
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  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    1000 Comments
    And under 18 (and/or not living at home anymore) is the test for "mailing them their own invite" so you will be putting the cousin's name on the inner envelope of her parents invitation. I would stick to one criteria and just go with it; 18 is very reasonable IMO. 
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    thanks ladies :-)  good to know I wasn't totally off base.  And thanks for the input about making it a strict rule with no exceptions; I definitely don't want any teenage drama! 

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  • achiduckachiduck member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    IMO if someone is still in highschool, I don't really think they need a plus one. I wasn't invited with a guest, and didn't bring a guest to weddings until I was about 20 and was not offended.
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  • katiewhompuskatiewhompus member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Kind of going against the grain here, but while I agree that having a general "under 18 don't get guests" rule is fine, it could cause a lot of drama since over 18 guests will have a +1 even if they have been dating for 1 day. There are many teens who have been dating for many years and are in a serious relationship who may give you the side eye/be hurt that their relationship is completely discounted because of age, while your 21+ guests can bring their flavor of the week without exception.

    Of course, this only applies if you have multiple under 18's who are in relationships. I also think if she's being invited with the parents then you do not need to invite her with the cousin/bf. Let her parents worry about sleeping arrangements and travel.

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  • osumegsosumegs member
    100 Comments
    Rather than a rule about it being over 18, we did out of high school. We only have one cousin that it affected, and he is 15 and has been with his gf for a year. We just didn't see the point in having someone travel out of town with a guest at that age. I think it would be different if you personally knew the SO, but otherwise I think you are fine to exclude them.
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I'm not giving +1's to anyone who is in high school. Most high school relationships are not serious enough to warrant that, IMO. If the high school couple were engaged, then it might be different, but I don't see why I have to feed my 15 year old cousin's latest boy toy.
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  • barbie92barbie92 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    I told my FSIL (who is 16) that if she is dating someone when we give the head count to the caterer then she can bring him...but she is my FSIL.
    I voted for straight across the board because if one 16 year old gets to bring a date and another didn't...well that would be a whole lot of drama :)

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  • luckyme502luckyme502 member
    1000 Comments
    Our cut off was out of high school.  So, my college aged cousin got a plus one, but her sister, still in high school didn't.  I think this is fair. 
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I don't think anyone under 18 needs a guest, whether local or OOT.  However if one of us had a 16 y/o cousin with a BF/GF of a year or so who comes to family functions like holidays and parties, I might make an exception.  I definitely don't think it's necessary though.
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