Jobs for Children in the Wedding Party? Advice needed!

Katieloo17 · December 2009

Hello! I'm recently engaged and just started planning my wedding. I have 2 nephews and want them both to be involved in the wedding. We have always said that the older nephew will be our ring bearer, and still would like him to do that. The only problem is we recently gained another nephew, and we want him to be involved somehow too. At the time of the wedding they will be 1 /2 or 2 (depending on when we get married!) and 6.

Does anyone have any suggestions for how to have them both involved, and what their "job titles" could be?

Thank you!!

LarissaAnn · December 2009

Honestly, it's a great thought on your part, but you'll be better off leaving the little one out. You won't be able to get him to follow instructions or anything, and he'll be happier just staying with his mom or dad.

SarahPLiz · December 2009

Or you could have 2 ring bearers and let the older one lead the younger one. If he's only 2 at that time, he probably won't be offended that he's not in the WP. He'll have his turn sometime.

ANd jsut a word of caution as you start planning: You can think about who you want in your WP, but please don't pick them until there is less than a year until your wedding. People and relationships can change in that much time, and you want to make sure that your WP are the people you are closest to when you get married. You might want to lurk on here for a while and see some of the pitfalls of asking a WP too early. I'd hate for that to happen to you.

CTGirl30 · December 2009

With a Sept 2011 wedding, you definately have a while before you need to think about your WP. A good rule of thumb is to wait until about 7-8 months before the wedding before asking anyone. There's not much to do before then and things can change.

You have a couple of options, though, for when it's time to ask:

1. Have just the 6 yr old be the RB and have the little one sit with his parents.

2. Have them both be RBs and either the older one can lead the littler one or the little one can be carried by a parent, walking along with the older boy.

mbcdefg · December 2009

If you have a program, list both as ring bearers. Have the older one walk down the aisle, and include both him and the younger one (with you or someone else holding him) in the formal photos.

He doesn't have to walk down the aisle, or hold a pillow, to be a ring bearer. Ring Bearer isn't really even a job since the kids typically don't carry the real rings anyway. Their "job" is to look cute. Include him in a few pics and I think that's plenty. Anyone who scoffs, "Well, she left her little nephew out and she must not love him as much as the older one!" is insane, because reasonable people should understand that a kid aged 2 or under probably isn't going to make it down the aisle anyway.

megk8oz · December 2009

Having the 6 year-old as the RB is fine. You don't need to have a job for the really little guy. Most kids that age are still wobbly on their feet, and it's rare to find one that takes direction (Just ask my friend who had her 15-month old be their "flower girl"). There's no reason why he needs a "job", you can still have him in the WP pics (Really, nobody's going to say "Hey, that kid didn't do anything! He can't be in those photos!"). Plus, it's a pretty safe bet that this kid won't even remember being at your wedding when he's older, so I'm sure he would be more than understanding about it in the future if it ever came up for some reason.

aerinpegadrak · December 2009

I don't think you need to give the little one anything to do. My thought is if the child isn't old enough to explain to you, in their own words, what they would be doing, they don't need an official role. He can still be in family photos at the wedding, can still dress up and look cute, all that jazz.

stina93446 · December 2009

I'd wait on thinking about this right now because your wedding is over a year and a half away. Who knows...you may get ANOTHER little child in your life in between now and then. Best to wait and see how they mature.

Also, the youngest one sounds too young. Average age for these little kid jobs is 3-8. And my 3 1/2 year old ring bearer practiced for weeks what to do before the wedding and when the actual day happened, he threw the pillow. kids are unpredictable.

lilcassers · December 2009

Honestly, kids don't like "jobs". My littles ones are standing up, but that's all he has to do. Kids just want to play and have fun, so let them be kids.

banana468 · December 2009

GIven their age, I definitely wouldn't do anything just now. You never know how they'll mature and some children just make better guests than attendants.

ecribelin · December 2009

My FI's Nephew is walking his mother in. he will be like 2.5 yrs old. so it will be the nephew, MOG and step-FOG. wicked cute!

Jobs for Children in the Wedding Party? Advice needed!

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