My aunt and uncle just offered to throw us an engagement party, and asked us for a list of people we want to invite and suggested we invite some friends from school and work. We're having a small wedding so only our closest friends will be invited, but it would be fun to celebrate with everybody! Since this isn't formally a "gift-giving" type of party, is it okay to invite our classmates and coworkers even if we don't intend on inviting them to the wedding? My aunt and uncle have a very large space and love to host large parties- they have summer bbqs with 50+ people every year- so I'm not worried about having too long a list!
Re: Engagement Party- Who to invite?
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[QUOTE]Mango, I say GO AHEAD! Invite anybody and everybody you want! Since you are having a small wedding it would be nice to celebrate with everyone else who is not going to be there. And contrary to what you think, many people bring gifts to the engagement party ( I would if I was invited to a party like this) and to spread the word that it is acceptable to bring one have your aunt and uncle casually spread the word to their friends where you two are registered! And also, there are no rules that say you have to invite the people who were invited to the pre-celebrations.
Posted by hunterjumper321[/QUOTE]
Ditto this. In Opposite Land.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
[QUOTE]And also, there are no rules that say you have to invite the people who were invited to the pre-celebrations.
[/QUOTE]
Actually there is. You are very misinformed.
Also, generally engagement parties aren't gift giving parties (although some will bring gifts). I would NOT register before it or have anyone spread word of mouth. If people bring presents, well then its a nice surprise.
Either way, small wedding means small pre-celebrations. I would be offended if I was invited to an engagement party and not to someone's wedding.
Are engagement parties gift giving events? That totally depends on where you live and your social circle. Here they are generally on the small side, same type of gift you would bring as a hostess gift. wine, plant, picture frame, et
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Generally you're not supposed to invite people to pre-wedding festivities unless you are inviting them to the wedding. Obviously you can ultimately do what you want but some things are just bad taste. My FMIL was invited to a friend's daughter's post wedding celebration but was not invited to the actual wedding. People have different circumstances for not being able to invite everyone they want but still would like a nice way to celebrate with lots of people. Most engagement parties I've seen have been gift giving events (mine was) but I guess it depends on what part of the country you live in, and what your family/friends do.
[QUOTE]People have different circumstances for not being able to invite everyone they want but still would like a nice way to celebrate with lots of people.
Posted by signingjulie[/QUOTE]
Well, then throw another party for friends and family that you aren't inviting to the wedding. That is perfectly acceptable as long as you don't attach your wedding to it.
We would really like to celebrate with all of these people who we care about, but can't afford to have at the wedding/ reception. Honestly, my aunt and uncle have the resources to throw a party the size of our wedding wihtout blinking, so this seemed like a good chance to celebrate with the people we wish we could afford to include in everything else! I don't think anyone would feel like they were getting jipped, because price-per-plate would be about the same (do people really calculate this crap in their heads? Jeez!).
Also, since coworker showers ARE wedding occasions in which the guests/hosts do not expect to be invited to the wedding, and a lot of these people are coworkers...
Would you be insulted if you were invited to a coworker's shower and not to their small, mostly-family wedding?
Just curious. I still think we'll keep it small and only people who either truely understand that we can't afford to have everyone we want at our wedding but would like to have them for some good food etc, and the handful of friends and family who are local AND invited to the wedding.