Did anyone not get their fine china?

leighinstl · April 2011

Our wedding is about a month out. After two showers, 70% of our registry is gone. However, no one has touched the fine china or stemware yet. It's not cheap, but certainly not insanely expensive. Our china is $125 a setting. Our stemware is $29 a glass. I'm starting to get nervous that no one will buy our china. Did this happen to anyone? Did anyone end up without getting their china? Or I'm I just worrying too much? Someone has told me that china is mostly a wedding gift rather than shower gift, so we won't get that until closer to the wedding. Thoughts?

lalaith50 · April 2011

Is it possible (and keep in mind that of course I'm asking this without knowing you at ALL, I hope you don't take any offense!) that your financial or social situation is such that people see that on your registry and think, "why would they register for that? They probably aren't going to use it."

We just went into BB&B to register, and it was like the lady thought that the only reason we were there was to pick out our "fine china and flatware." But, seriously, not everyone needs it or would ever use it! We are registering for some "medium" china that can be used every day and dishwashered, and we will use it whenever we have guests, not just for the fanciest occasions! Personally, I wouldn't buy anyone $125 china from their registry, unless it was the last thing on it, b/c I would think, "No one actually uses this stuff, it will go to waste!"

My experience at BB&B does make me think that THEY are the only ones pushing the idea that "we HAVE to have fine china!" lol

Wiscisbliss · April 2011

We did not register for fine China, but many of my friends did and not much of theirs were purchased. If most guests have a $100 limit, they won't be purchasing it.

DanielleM01 · April 2011

I've seen lots of people who don't get it...it sort of depends on your crowd. That being said, I've heard that china is more of a wedding gift as opposed to a shower gift so you might get some of it for the wedding. One thing your guests might be doing is looking at the registry and thinking "well no one else has bought any of it....I don't want to buy one place setting because that might be the only one they get and that's kind of pointless." Either way, there's not really anything you can do about it so don't worry!

hlq2011 · April 2011

My FSIL got two of her place settings. We bought a third for her off their registry for Christmas.

noodle_oo · April 2011

We got 2 of our place settings and they were given at the shower. And they were only $89 at BBB, $99 on sale at Macy's (yes I had it on both). I was a little bummed, but not that surprised. I think the cost might be an issue.

We just used wedding gift money to buy 6 more sets ourselves after the wedding. If you really want it, you can do that.

No one bought stemware. We got our everyday glasses that were cheaper.

leighinstl · April 2011

Lalaith - I know your point about a lot of people not using their china. But, actually, I really want fine china. Growing up, my mom always brought out her wedding china for special occasions. I loved it. I want to have my own wedding china for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I know I'm more of the exception than the rule these days, but I plan to use that china. Also, I don't think our financial situation would have anything to do with it. We're young professionals, who own our own home. We're definitely still starting out, but we're not hurting or anything.

It's okay if we don't get our china. I just want to be prepared that its a possibility. That's why I want to know other people's experience. I don't want to be let down too much if we don't get any china.

almost-a-bride · April 2011

I received every piece of my china (place settings, bowls, serving bowls, flatware, crystal stemware etc), for my shower. Completely unexpected! Thanks mom!

MyNameIsNot · April 2011

We only got 2 place settings. But, I'm ok with that. We thought about just returning the two we did get, but I'd really like to have it eventually. The pattern is one that should be around for a while, and we'll complete it over time.

Ours was a little under $100 per place setting. Most of our guests seemed to be the in the 50-100 range, so I think it was on the higher side for most guests.

strlzfan11 · April 2011

Some people might buy it for the actual wedding. What you may want to consider doing is putting a % of the money you receive as a wedding gift aside to purchase some of your china. My sister was married for 6 years and was still excited that I bought her a piece of her china set for her 30th birthday.

rainedrop6 · April 2011

We registered for everyday china but it was still rather expensive, around $150 a place setting (all pieces were a la carte because I wanted to alternate between the pattern and the solid) . We got 3 place settings, a few individuals, and all the serving pieces from our showers and didn't get any for our actual wedding (both our families traditionally give cash as a wedding gift, plus 90% of our guests were from out of state, so easier).

I really wanted this china and was prepared to purchase it myself and/or receive it as a gift for other occasions until it was complete. It took about a year because we didn't use any of our wedding or shower money but I received pieces as gifts for Valentine's, birthday, Christmas, and anniversary (any possible opportunity). I also purchased pieces anytime I was given cash as a gift over the year or with any extra spending money I saved.

My sister asked me if I regretted not getting something more fun over the year but to me it was worth every penny. We use it everyday and it is beautiful.

GeauxTigers17 · April 2011

I think this is both a social circle thing, and a lot of people just plain don't like buying pieces of sets - my mom is a bit like that. She prefers buying serving pieces. I guess the thinking is that you'll remember they bought you the serving piece, but perhaps won't remember the place setting.

Plus, is your china available on a per-piece basis? A friend of mine registered for a very expensive pattern ($285/place setting) but got all the dinner plates because everything was listed separately. The dinner plates were about $80, and enough people were comfortable spending that. See if you can list the pieces separately if you think cost is part of the problem.

Also want to add that my mom served every dinner she ever cooked on her wedding china, even for plain-jane weekdays, so I don't think it's fair to judge it as something someone will never use!

noodle_oo · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_did-anyone-not-their-fine-china?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:9e2d54af-f8d5-4a35-b822-5b887710a843Post:d98cc4bd-97fd-4635-8913-dacb79397a97">Re: Did anyone not get their fine china?</a>:
[QUOTE]Lalaith - I know your point about a lot of people not using their china. But, actually, I really want fine china. Growing up, my mom always brought out her wedding china for special occasions. I loved it. I want to have my own wedding china for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I know I'm more of the exception than the rule these days, but I plan to use that china. Also, I don't think our financial situation would have anything to do with it. We're young professionals, who own our own home. We're definitely still starting out, but we're not hurting or anything. It's okay if we don't get our china. I just want to be prepared that its a possibility. That's why I want to know other people's experience. I don't want to be let down too much if we don't get any china.
Posted by leighinstl[/QUOTE]

If you didn't get it for your shower, I'm honestly doubtful you'll get it at the wedding. I think your price points are a bit high (at least they are for my circle). Even though you really want it and know you'll use it, people might not realize that or it just might be too expensive for them. I'd start thinking about whether or not it will be worth it for you to buy it yourself. Or just don't think about it and worry about it after the wedding.

kellya01 · April 2011

Can you add your china by the piece -- instead of 5 pps, add 1 dinner plate, 1 salad plate, 1 bread and butter (etc)... BB&B has this option on almost all of their fine china patterns. I also registered for a $125 per place setting pattern. Also, if you're just referring to your "registry items completed" you may need to wait until the wedding, because often times in my family, people buy china from the manufacturer or from other stores and wait to give it until later, so you'd never see it come off of your registry list. Just a possibility.

One thing to kind of keep in mind -- while we'd LOVE to get as many pieces of our china pattern as possible, we also realize that it's not realistic that we'll get a lot of them, much less all of them, so over the next couple of years we are including in our budget a way to save up to buy it ourselves. No disappointment, because we plan to buy it eventually, anyway!! :-)

banana468 · April 2011

We received China as a wedding gift but not a shower gift.

kgettingmarried · April 2011

I wouldn't spend more than $50 on a friend's wedding, so as a friend you wouldn't get china from me. Family I might consider $75 to $100 but no higher than that unless it was my own child/grandchild getting married.

I would be more inclined to get someone a complete single item than part of a set, because I would worry that they wouldn't get the whole set and just would end up returning the pieces they got anyway.

Although, I was never a girl who got excited about place settings. I'm all about the kitchen knives.

aegrish · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_did-anyone-not-their-fine-china?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:9e2d54af-f8d5-4a35-b822-5b887710a843Post:65ddaf1d-6c4f-4ba4-9201-2f0a0167b074">Re: Did anyone not get their fine china?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>We did not register for fine China, but many of my friends did and not much of theirs were purchased.</strong> If most guests have a $100 limit, they won't be purchasing it.
Posted by Wiscisbliss[/QUOTE]

Diddo, I have never bought China when I've seen it on someone's registry either. I guess since I don't have China myself I just don't see it as a very practical gift. Whether that's right or not that's how I think.

futuremrseagle · April 2011

My parents use their wedding china for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other special events, so I've always wanted a china set. We found one at BBB that is very nice, and comes in sets. so we registered for 3-20 piece sets, to get 12 place settings. They're $99/each. So for $300 we have 12 place settings of China! clicky They also sell it in a 40-piece set for $199, but I figured people were more likely to spend $100 (or $80 if they have a coupon!), and that way they knew we were getting a SET, something we could at least start with. I have also expressed to my MOH (sister), and mom, how much I want my china, so I'm pretty sure my BMs are getting it for me..

If I were you, I'd think about your china pattern and see if there was a cheaper option. It will suck for your guests when they're shopping for a wedding present and all that's left on your registry are your super expensive place settings. Same for the stemware. No one wants to spend $30 on ONE GLASS. try to find a set of at least 2 for about the same price, and people will probably be more likely to purchase it.

Hopefully you thought about this possibility when registering and you guys can afford to buy your expensive china and stemware yourselves..

Juliet212 · April 2011

That's so funny because that is the first thing that I look for. I always buy people their china.

For me, my shower is in July and most of the gifts already purchased has been the china. But no one touched the flatwear or steamwear yet.

Are you having any more showers that you know of?? You already had two. You can always purchase it at a discount later after your wedding. Maybe people will get it for you for other occasions also (holidays, bday) etc. I am sure you will get it... eventually.

leighinstl · April 2011

It is sort of funny, because the first wedding gift we received was our $150 set of stainless steel flatware. It was from my neighbor growing up. We've also gotten several $100 and up gifts for the shower and other wedding gifts. So, I don't think its the price point. I'm thinking its more that its part of the set. I've talked to some of my girlfriends who were married recently. They all received their china and they were in similar price points. (Heck, I know one girl who registered for a $300 place setting, and she got all her china.)

We'll see what happens. It's good to be prepared that we will be buying this with our wedding money. I'm definitely preparing myself for that as an option. Thanks everyone!

mica178 · April 2011

I only received the china as a wedding gift, not as a shower gift. Our china registry was completed, I think (I think we only were missing a bowl and the saucer for the gravy boat).

Now that I've gone through the wedding planning process, my view of registries has changed. I used to always go for the vases and candle sets. Now I think more about the flatware and china, glassware and cookware.

stever · April 2011

Our stemware was bought by several friends, but the only people who touched our fine china were my mom and step-mom.

jess9802 · April 2011

I bought my best friend one of her place settings when she got married - I think it was on sale at that time, but it was at the $100 range. She didn't receive a complete set for the wedding and I'm not sure if she ever finished it off. She uses Fiesta Ware for most of their meals.

Her experience is pretty typical from what I've seen. I chose my everyday china in part because there was a 45-piece set that offers a complete service for 8. I've already received that - now I just need the accessory pieces.

helgak99 · April 2011

My "fine china" was $70 a place setting at Macy's (when not on sale) and $49 at BBB. I love it and it is in the fine china section.

BBB had a 4 place setting box for $99, basically a BOGO, so I can afford to complete if I don't get it all. It is the serving pieces that are expensive and I've already received a sugar bowl and 8 pieces of the place setting.

I would not go $125 because I could never afford to complete it. It is gorgeous Mikasa pattern which I will use on Sundays and holidays. Be sure to enjoy them, don't save for just holidays, life is too short!

stitchingchica · April 2011

I live rurally (ND) and the BBB here doesn't even carry my pattern- guests can order it in the store or online to be shipped to them or us but have to pay shipping. But I love it so much I decided we'll buy it ourselves if needed. Mine is only $45/setting.

My mom ordered and gave me a serving piece at my bridal shower, because I had adored it online but never got to see it in person. I had 2 showers and it was the only purchased item.

About a week ago someone bought 1 setting on the registry, and I just checked and somewhere over the course of the weekend 5 more settings were bought, plus the platter and serving bowl. So it's half gone, now. You never know. I wouldn't be surprised if we got it all, at this rate. Picking your pattern means you have to make peace that people don't have to make that choice and if you pick a pricey one, you may have to buy it yourself. That was a big factor in my choice.

NOLAbridealmost · April 2011

My FMIL asked me to remove all of our china from the registry because she and FFIL want to get it for us as a wedding gift. I am fairly certain if she hadn't offered we'd not be getting much of it at all. I agree with PPs that a lot of people feel weird about getting just one small piece of a set. Like, I'd feel really lame just getting someone a sugar bowl.

SuMmErKuTiE · April 2011

We didn't receive any of our fine china at my bridal shower either, but we received 3 place settings at the wedding as wedding gifts. We're working on completing the set ourselves since we do plan on using our fine china since we love to entertain and plan on hosting a lot of family gatherings and dinner parties.

cc+mm · April 2011

Our china is in the same range ($119) and I received 9 place settings for my shower, 1 for our wedding. In our circle we received almost exclusively money for the wedding, the only actual gift was the one place setting. I don't think that your china is on the higher end of the scale from what I have sen, it seems average for me. Howver, in the past I have always bought small appliences for showers myself. Now that I am married and was so excited to receive my china at my shower, it will be my go to gift from now on.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_did-anyone-not-their-fine-china?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:9e2d54af-f8d5-4a35-b822-5b887710a843Post:60c5ab10-85a9-4c40-85c9-50cab8dc0a69">Re: Did anyone not get their fine china?</a>:
[QUOTE]My parents use their wedding china for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other special events, so I've always wanted a china set.<strong> We found one at BBB that is very nice, and comes in sets. so we registered for 3-20 piece sets, to get 12 place settings. They're $99/each. So for $300 we have 12 place settings of China! clicky </strong> They also sell it in a 40-piece set for $199, but I figured people were more likely to spend $100 (or $80 if they have a coupon!), and that way they knew we were getting a SET, something we could at least start with. I have also expressed to my MOH (sister), and mom, how much I want my china, so I'm pretty sure my BMs are getting it for me.. If I were you, I'd think about your china pattern and see if there was a cheaper option. It will suck for your guests when they're shopping for a wedding present and all that's left on your registry are your super expensive place settings. Same for the stemware. No one wants to spend $30 on ONE GLASS. try to find a set of at least 2 for about the same price, and people will probably be more likely to purchase it. Hopefully you thought about this possibility when registering and you guys can afford to buy your expensive china and stemware yourselves..
Posted by futuremrseagle[/QUOTE]

You ROCK! I found this pattern on the Macy's website and liked it...so happy to see it at BB&B for even cheaper! My FI is convinced that we're not registering for china...but I really badly want to because I love to cook and entertain and I know I'll use the heck out of it. Being only $99 for the 20 piece sent, thus $300 for the entire 12 place settings...I am sure I'll be able to talk him into letting me put it on the registry.

Amandafarber · April 2011

I hope you get the rest of it!!! You never know what you'll receive at the wedding, and it can always be something you guys build throughout holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

wyney · April 2011

I never think of buying other people's china. For me it's just soo personal. I'm a little unhinged. I also don't want my own. As morbid and horrible as I'm sure this will come off, I hope to have as many holidays at my mom's until she passes, and will then use hers. I might get a few 'accent' pieces....but the pattern itself is a little dated. But beautiful. I hope to go as long as possible without having my own china, but I get very sentimental about it.

Anyway, I looked at my family's china set like some little girls look at heirloom jewelry. I tend to look at it as a family type gift. And when I see it on registries, I think "that's for the famly to get."

Normal? No. But it's how I think.

Did anyone not get their fine china?

Re: Did anyone not get their fine china?

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