Elopment

arrippa · March 2013

Why would anyone want to start their marriage in a lie?

embreen · March 2013

wowi ts great how you guys all jumped to conclusions about me, my family and our motivations for getting married. The military looks down on and prosecutes marriages that are purely for the benefits which this is not. Since you alll enjoy spinning your own tales about who knows what and why we went about doing this, I do not feel the need to explain myself. Simply you can all take your judgment and go to hell.

embreen · March 2013

And btw if you actually read the UCMJ the marriage has to be kept a complete secret with no one except for the two married people knowing about it. And since you have been trollling my posts you should know that he is in the reserves and the only benefits hes receiving are his GI bill benefits that do not change whether you are single or married.

Knottie_22387299 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_elopment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:97d744fc-0d85-4cfe-a949-8a58fdd1f433Post:4ca2e890-dfd8-440e-9e65-b0c2b0711e3d">Elopment</a>:
[QUOTE]So.....because my FI is in the Navy and deploying we wanted to make sure all of the paperwork was in order before he left. We eloped yesterday morning!!!! We're still having our big wedding in July and no one will know were already married. Kinda fun keeping secrets!!
Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Congratulation! </div><div>
</div><div>It is obvious to me that NONE of you have ever been engaged or married to someone in the military otherwise you would not be so hateful. Her now husband, is deploying. His report date to another state for pre-deployment training (this is the norm) is two months before his deployment and the military has regularly been known to move up the deployment date interupting many peoples wedding plans. </div><div>
</div><div>If you think the paperwork involved with changing your social security card, bank accounts and drivers license is difficult try doing it with your spouse 10,000 miles away in a war zone. Try having to do it with a power of attorney in an eviorment your unfamiliar with that usually only deals with the spouse. </div><div>
</div><div>They will celebrate both dates. She should not have to sacrifice her dream wedding which was planned long before the deployment came up. Yes, legally they are married. But have any of your thought about how important the religious portion of this is to HER? Did anyone degrad you and call your engagment or marriage a contract marriage? Have you ever thought that they were advised to do this by HIS command? </div><div>
</div><div>They are not "defrauding" their guests or gift whoring as many of you have stated. They are standing before GOD and their family pledging to love each other for the rest of their lives. What they have doen already is a civil ceremony. Heck, everyone loved Prince William and Kate's "Fake Wedding" because in most countries you have to have a civil ceremony so that the government recognizes the marriage and then you have to have a separate religious ceremony if you want it.</div><div>
</div><div>Unless you have walked in her shoes back off and be nice. And yes, I have seen high school girls who bullied less. We are all grown women, can we not act like it and realize we are all coming from different situations?</div>

formerlyCooper · March 2013

[QUOTE]She should not have to sacrifice her dream wedding which was planned long before the deployment came up. Yes, legally they are married. But have any of your thought about how important the religious portion of this is to HER? Did anyone degrad you and call your engagment or marriage a contract marriage? [...] They are not "defrauding" their guests or gift whoring as many of you have stated. [...] What they have doen already is a civil ceremony. [...] Heck, everyone loved Prince William and Kate's "Fake Wedding" [...] We are all grown women, can we not act like it and realize we are all coming from different situations? Posted by tallsassymommy[/QUOTE]
Your argument doesn't hold water. For couples who want to marry religiously and secularly, most states recognize a religious marriage as being legally valid so there is no additional ceremony needed. If a couple belongs to a religion whose marriages are NOT recognized as being legally binding, they have their religious wedding and secular wedding within 24 hours or a few days of each other, not MONTHS later. And the religious wedding, usually the event with the white dress and attendants, is ALWAYS held FIRST.

As for the irrelevant "example" of the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, I would love to know where you source your information when you state that it was a "fake" wedding. I can find no reference to it in any Internet searches, which makes me think you're pulling your "facts" out of thin air. Back it up.

And for the condescending jab about none of us having military weddings, a couple gets one wedding day. ONE. My cousin is a petty officer in the Navy, and when he married two years ago, he and his wife went down to the local court house, signed their marriage license and celebrated accordingly. They did not then demand a day where they could wear fancy dress and walk down the isle and say vows. WHY? Because were HUSBAND and WIFE the minute they signed that license. They and thousands of other couples like that get that fact, and don't mind they had the relinquish the big "look at me!" wedding day in the process.

Embreen: coming from a military family, your flippant attitude about your courthouse marriage is a slap in the face. You're not owning the fact that you are now a wife. Your actions [hiding this marriage from your family] tell me you know what you're doing is wrong and will affect the people around you negatively. Your situation is not special and your attitude could use a serious adjustment. Grow up. And give your man the title he deserves, HUSBAND, not FIANCE.

Apologies for the extensive use of capital letters. I cannot use italics when posting on TK Mobile.

formerlyCooper · March 2013

[QUOTE]wowi ts great how you guys all jumped to conclusions about me, my family and our motivations for getting married. The military looks down on and prosecutes marriages that are purely for the benefits which this is not. Since you alll enjoy spinning your own tales about who knows what and why we went about doing this, I do not feel the need to explain myself. Simply you can all take your judgment and go to hell. Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]
We haven't heard this line before. Nope, not at all. The only one who looks bad here is you, OP.

embreen · March 2013

In Response to Re:Elopment:[QUOTE]She should not have to sacrifice her dream wedding which was planned long before the deployment came up. Yes, legally they are married. But have any of your thought about how important the religious portion of this is to HER? Did anyone degrad you and call your engagment or marriage a contract marriage? [...] They are not "defrauding" their guests or gift whoring as many of you have stated. [...] What they have doen already is a civil ceremony. [...] Heck, everyone loved Prince William and Kate's "Fake Wedding" [...] We are all grown women, can we not act like it and realize we are all coming from different situations? Posted by tallsassymommy Your argument doesn't hold water. For couples who want to marry religiously and secularly, most states recognize a religious marriage as being legally valid so there is no additional ceremony needed. If a couple belongs to a religion whose marriages are NOT recognized as being legally binding, they have their religious wedding and secular wedding within 24 hours or a few days of each other, not MONTHS later. And the religious wedding, usually the event with the white dress and attendants, is ALWAYS held FIRST. As for the irrelevant "example" of the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, I would love to know where you source your information when you state that it was a "fake" wedding. I can find no reference to it in any Internet searches, which makes me think you're pulling your "facts" out of thin air. Back it up. And for the condescending jab about none of us having military weddings, a couple gets one wedding day. ONE. My cousin is a petty officer in the Navy, and when he married two years ago, he and his wife went down to the local court house, signed their marriage license and celebrated accordingly. They did not then demand a day where they could wear fancy dress and walk down the isle and say vows. WHY? Because were HUSBAND and WIFE the minute they signed that license. They and thousands of other couples like that get that fact, and don't mind they had the relinquish the big "look at me!" wedding day in the process. Embreen: coming from a military family, your flippant attitude about your courthouse marriage is a slap in the face. You're not owning the fact that you are now a wife. Your actions [hiding this marriage from your family] tell me you know what you're doing is wrong and will affect the people around you negatively. Your situation is not special and your attitude could use a serious adjustment. Grow up. And give your man the title he deserves, HUSBAND, not FIANCE. Apologies for the extensive use of capital letters. I cannot use italics when posting on TK Mobile. Posted by formerlyCooper[/QUOTE] First of do not speak to my family cause you do not know anything about them or their military experience, second there are many many military couples who do this, there are many immigrant couples that do this. They have a private elopement ceremony and then a white dress wedding, there's nothing wrong with this, and as I stated before none of you know what the status is with our families because instead of asking every jumped to conclusions. No one is "demanding" a big "look at me" day as you put it. my family would like a "white dress" wedding and all along I've been mainly doing it for them. Since none of you know the dynamics of family or their wishes or acceptance of what we did none of you have a leg to stand on and jumped to judgmental conclusions. I am NOT a contract bride as many of you said and insinuated, the fact that you say or insinuate that is extremely offensive. I would have married him with or without the military involvement. As instated before he is a reservist and therefore not gaining any extra benefits, I have my own insurance and income so I don't rely on his military benefits. Which I am not even applying for until after July. There is no right or wrong way to go about a marriage and a wedding ceremony, I think most of you posting on this have forgotten that everyone has a different situation and being downright rude and offensive is not the way to handle it. I've known couples who have held huge "white dress" weddings two or three years after their actual marriage. Considering this was something suggested to us by my husbands chain of command there's no way the Navy us looking down on it, in fact I have received many positive and congratulatory phone calls and messages about it. The religious part is important to my entire family that couldn't be there to be a part of the elopement so that will be a part of our other ceremony. Just because others have done a civil then religious ceremony in 24 hours does not necessarily mean I have to. Also I do not have a flippant attitude towards my marriage I take it very seriously. I wear a wedding band as does my husband and do refer to my husband as just that and myself as his wife. I have changed my name and am aware I am very much married. I mentioned my husband as my fianc in the original post to attempt to not cause confusion. I think everyone except tallasassymommy projected themselves way too much onto my situation and were way too quick to judge me without any real information. Obviously no one besides her knows anything about military weddings active duty or reservist. Civilian life moves much faster than military does, especially a reservist unit where it was told to us it could take 4-6 months for our paperwork to be in order. Plenty of couples do a civil ceremony and then another one later where their family can be present with them for various reasons. What's next that your all going to say? Multiple bridal showers are a big no no? None of you know who exactly knows what about our elopement, my immediate family, my husbands immediate family and my maid of honor are all aware and extremely happy for us. In fact my maid of honor was my witness. We are NOT LYING to anyone about anything. And formerlycooper that's great what your cousin did but just because they chose that route doe not mean every other military bride has to. I was excited when I made my original post and there was no basis for any of you to attack me for my personal choices. I didn't do it to stir up trouble or judgment. I didn't think of any of you while posting, just about my excitement that i wanted to share. This is not your life, not your marriage nor your wedding. Therefore you have no say in what's right or wrong for me to do. I didn't ask your opinion or your feelings on it. Many of you enjoy being judgmental and think a wedding should be a certain way, especially those of you who have been married five or six years and are STILL posting on this site, move on already. Everyone's wedding is their own. If you don't support what i did then stay out if it and mind your own business, there's no need to be rude and obnoxious about it. Oh and for those commenting about my avatar, its my fb profile pic and my husband has already been in it since I joined this site. We just took a better pic one day so I changed it. I know hiding behind a computer makes you all big and tough but think twice before posting hurtful things about someone especially someone you don't know and when you don't have all the information. And as for me being "gift grabby" or whatever it is your referred to me as, our registry is much smaller than any of you suggested it should be. We have registered for sole basics that we need, not any big ticket items. Why I am even explaining myself I'm not sure but I think a lot of you need to back off and get your facts straight before jumping on someone for making a choice is that right for them, even if it doesn't bode well with your ideas of what a perfect wedding should be.

formerlyCooper · March 2013

[QUOTE]We're still having our big wedding in July and no one will know were already married. Kinda fun keeping secrets!!Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]
Looking at your post from the eyes of someone who isn't familiar with your situation, can you see why we would have jumped to conclusions? I am not excusing the fact that some posters took it too far, but tone is extremely hard to convey and you gave no other information than this single post, and a follow up post that told us not to judge and to go to hell. "No one will know we're all ready married" is a world of difference from "My parents know! His parents know! My MOH was a witness! We received congratulatory phone calls!"

We only know what you choose to impart in your posts. Keeping the wedding secret from your future guests is still a lie to them. Having that wedding you were planning for a few months from now is still bad etiquette regardless of whether or not your guests are informed of your marriage, and regardless of how you and your immediate family feel about staging "another" wedding. And those two points are primarily what PP's including myself reacted to. The issues of contractural marriages, military benefits, and the UCMJ are completely irrelevant. I don't even know why they were brought up.

If you come clean and your guests choose to support your post wedding party so be it. But approaching this marriage and second wedding issue in the way you have is frowned upon here and that is no secret. I am very glad you are married. I hope that your vow renewal goes well. Hopefully your next posts will include more context to garner the reaction you were looking for rather than the reaction that it got [which even I, a relative new poster, knew to expect].

And at the end of the day, it's the Internet, not something to get so incredibly worked up and offended about. What is said here has no effect on any poster's real life, and should always be taken with a grain of salt.

ETA: in all those examples you gave of friends, immigrants, whatever having "big white weddings" months or years after their "legal wedding," those people are clueless as to proper etiquette. Being ignorant is no excuse, it just makes them look the fool. Trying to rationalize your decision away is great. It just won't get you anywhere in polite society. "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?" is a cliche that applies here.

embreen · March 2013

Actually formerlycooper its not bad etiquette, its what some situations call for. I'm sorry you don't agree with it but your not invited to my wedding therefore its not your problem. Also the military was brought up because these lovely judgmental people decided that I was marrying ONLY for the military benefits which is illegal. When I made my original post as I've said multiple times I was excited I wasn't thinking about what everyone else was going to say. Instead of jumping to conclusions you could have asked one or two questions and found out the truth. Most of the women on this site especially those married for a long time and still posting act like high school mean girl bullies instead of the grown women and wives they should be. This is a prime example of how something wonderful and exciting can be misconstrued by these women into something bad. I didn't do anything wrong. Elopements and a ceremony later is a different way of doing things, go over to the military board and see how many women are planning the same exact thing. I read a post where someone even said that's the way it's "supposed to be done". Like I said before everyone's situation and wedding is different and if you don't like what my situation is then guess what your not invited to my wedding and you don't have to deal with it. By the way since you all think this was a selfish, gift grabby, horrible move I'll let husband who will be risking his life for your freedom know that's what you think of him. Btw since many of you would ask for this: http://m.theknot.com/forums/specialtopicweddingboards_militarybrides_suddenchangeofdateduetodeploymenthelp Go tell all of those women they are horrible people as well

NYCMercedes · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_elopment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:97d744fc-0d85-4cfe-a949-8a58fdd1f433Post:d41af7c7-4f53-4518-b5ae-587288d87096">Re:Elopment</a>:
[QUOTE]
ETA: in all those examples you gave of friends, immigrants, whatever having "big white weddings" months or years after their "legal wedding," those people are clueless as to proper etiquette. Being ignorant is no excuse, it just makes them look the fool. Trying to rationalize your decision away is great. It just won't get you anywhere in polite society. "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?" is a cliche that applies here.
Posted by formerlyCooper[/QUOTE]

This. Clueless. Ignorant.

OP, you're not special. There are many, many brides, grooms, parents, and sibs on this site who have military weddings and can figure it out.

manjermj · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_elopment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:97d744fc-0d85-4cfe-a949-8a58fdd1f433Post:c5d0f80b-6315-4b92-aea3-ab7b2bf87c0a">Re:Elopment</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually formerlycooper its not bad etiquette, its what some situations call for. I'm sorry you don't agree with it but your not invited to my wedding therefore its not your problem. Also the military was brought up because these lovely judgmental people decided that I was marrying ONLY for the military benefits which is illegal. When I made my original post as I've said multiple times I was excited I wasn't thinking about what everyone else was going to say. Instead of jumping to conclusions you could have asked one or two questions and found out the truth. Most of the women on this site especially those married for a long time and still posting act like high school mean girl bullies instead of the grown women and wives they should be. This is a prime example of how something wonderful and exciting can be misconstrued by these women into something bad. I didn't do anything wrong. <strong>Elopements and a ceremony later is a different way of doing things, go over to the military board and see how many women are planning the same exact thing.</strong> I read a post where someone even said that's the way it's "supposed to be done". Like I said before everyone's situation and wedding is different and if you don't like what my situation is then guess what your not invited to my wedding and you don't have to deal with it. By the way since you all think this was a selfish, gift grabby, horrible move I'll let husband who will be risking his life for your freedom know that's what you think of him.
Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]

<div>That is not true. It is actually frowned upon on the military board as well. </div><div>
</div><div>I agree, many didn't convey their reasoning with respect. But you have to realize you only gave us a VERY SMALL amount of information to go on. You told us:</div><div><span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">1. you "FI is in the Navy and deploying" </span></div><div><span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">2. "We eloped yesterday morning!!!!" </span></div><div><span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">3. "We're still having our big wedding in July" </span></div><div><span style="background-color:#ffffff;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;">4. "no one will know were already married. Kinda fun keeping secrets!!"</span></div><div>
</div><div>I don't know how you expected people to be excited for you when the only details you gave us were ettiquette "no-no's". </div><div>
</div><div>No one is saying that you can't get married at the courthouse and have a party in July. They are just saying that you can no longer have a wedding, because well, you are already married. And that keeping it a secret from your friends and family is not a good idea because you will hurt their feelings and be lying (by omission) to them. If you are having a church ceremony in July... I'm taking a guess that it would be a Catholic ceremony since it's such a big deal...then that still would <strong>not</strong> be a wedding - that would be a convalidation. </div><div><em style="font-weight:bold;font-style:normal;color:#000000;font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:small;line-height:16px;background-color:#ffffff;">
</em></div><div><em style="font-style:normal;background-color:#ffffff;">And honestly, if you are not marrying for benefits then why wouldn't you just wait to have your wedding as planned? As I said earlier, my husband is in the military as well and we waited patiently during a nearly 5 year long distance relationship to get married when it worked for both of us and our family and friends. I just can't think of a single reason that would make me want to keep a secret from everyone I love for months. </em><em style="font-weight:bold;font-style:normal;color:#000000;font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:small;line-height:16px;background-color:#ffffff;"> </em></div>

artbyallie · March 2013

The MB board does not support what you are doing, I assure you.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_jop-fafsa

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_married-by-jop-but-having-formal-ceremony-help

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_already-married

Need I go on?

Not everyone has a 'white dress wedding' as you call it. And no one is entitled to that. My grandmother got married on a weekday in a normal dress with no guests apart from her mother. Should she put on a white dress and pretend to be a bride?

And if you openly acknowledge him as your husband, why do you say no one will know you're already married at your vow renewal? You make no sense, girl. So don't get all up in arms when you're the one saying you're lying to your family and friends.

And don't even get me started on all the people who would kill for the right to legally marry and don't have it.

happyfor25 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_elopment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:97d744fc-0d85-4cfe-a949-8a58fdd1f433Post:43c1b879-7789-4287-81c2-832a44e6c57b">Re: Elopment</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Elopment : Congratulation! <strong>It is obvious to me that NONE of you have ever been engaged or married to someone in the military otherwise you would not be so hateful.</strong> Her now husband, is deploying. His report date to another state for pre-deployment training (this is the norm) is two months before his deployment and the military has regularly been known to move up the deployment date interupting many peoples wedding plans. If you think the paperwork involved with changing your social security card, bank accounts and drivers license is difficult try doing it with your spouse 10,000 miles away in a war zone. Try having to do it with a power of attorney in an eviorment your unfamiliar with that usually only deals with the spouse. They will celebrate both dates. She should not have to sacrifice her dream wedding which was planned long before the deployment came up. Yes, legally they are married. But have any of your thought about how important the religious portion of this is to HER? Did anyone degrad you and call your engagment or marriage a contract marriage? Have you ever thought that they were advised to do this by HIS command? They are not "defrauding" their guests or gift whoring as many of you have stated. They are standing before GOD and their family pledging to love each other for the rest of their lives. What they have doen already is a civil ceremony. Heck, everyone loved Prince William and Kate's "Fake Wedding" because in most countries you have to have a civil ceremony so that the government recognizes the marriage and then you have to have a separate religious ceremony if you want it. Unless you have walked in her shoes back off and be nice. And yes, I have seen high school girls who bullied less. We are all grown women, can we not act like it and realize we are all coming from different situations?
Posted by tallsassymommy[/QUOTE]

To the bolded...I was engaged to and married someone in the military. As my personal story explained, I did EXACTLY what the OP did/is doing and I hurt my family deeply. I know that it is fairly common among military couples. I also know that the ONLY reason to do this is to get the additional benefits, otherwise, why not wait until the planned wedding?

I think OP should absolutely have a grand party as planned. I just think she needs to be honest with those she loves (and I have my doubts about whether she has told anyone based on her OP)

formerlyCooper · March 2013

[QUOTE]Actually formerlycooper its not bad etiquette, its what some situations call for. Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]
Wrong. It is bad etiquette. Do not quote Knot threads from other ignorant posters like yourself. Lay hands on an etiquette manual and look it up. Using Knot threads is like using Wikipedia as source material for a college paper. It isn't a reputable source of information.
[QUOTE]I'm sorry you don't agree with it but your not invited to my wedding therefore its not your problem. Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]
You made this issue available to comment by members of TK when you posted this thread. You didn't want people telling you what you're doing is bad etiquette? You were free not to share your situation.
[QUOTE]Most of the women on this site especially those married for a long time and still posting act like high school mean girl bullies instead of the grown women and wives they should be. Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]
No, you are acting like a child. These ladies have a firm grasp of etiquette that you lack. If people like you, who know nothing of correct etiquette, were doling out advice, it would be like the blind leading the blind. Saying that they should just move on because they're married is a disservice to brides looking for accurate advice.
[QUOTE]I didn't do anything wrong. Elopements and a ceremony later is a different way of doing things...posted by embreen[/QUOTE]
You did something wrong, we are telling you what it was. Elopements and a ceremony later are a different way of doing things. It's a different way that is in poor taste regardless of how you argue otherwise.
[QUOTE]By the way since you all think this was a selfish, gift grabby, horrible move I'll let husband who will be risking his life for your freedom know that's what you think of him. Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]
Again, you're being childish, and your husband isn't the one a fault here. His command may have suggested that you two get married, but the military doesn't care about weddings and wedding etiquette the way women and those raised in households that teach proper social behavior care about it. Marriage is marriage. Most of the time men are ignorant of etiquette and have no impetus to learn. That's ok. But you have been told what you're doing wrong and are flaunting very solid advice. That is not ok. I think the posters before me just now invalidated your point very efficiently and with more sources than you gave.

tallsassymommy · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_elopment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:97d744fc-0d85-4cfe-a949-8a58fdd1f433Post:5249c967-7c8a-425b-9a56-dd916c8c2960">Re: Elopment</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Elopment : To the bolded...I was engaged to and married someone in the military. As my personal story explained, I did EXACTLY what the OP did/is doing and I hurt my family deeply. I know that it is fairly common among military couples. I also know that the ONLY reason to do this is to get the additional benefits, otherwise, why not wait until the planned wedding? I think OP should absolutely have a grand party as planned. I just think she needs to be honest with those she loves (and I have my doubts about whether she has told anyone based on her OP)
Posted by happyfor25[/QUOTE]

<div>He is a reservist, she isn't getting anything financially or benefit wise until he deploys, which as she has stated is after their ceremony. But as any military family can understand, needs of the military take priority over weddings and deposits. The only thing it sounds like she is getting out of the early date is not having to deal with PSD alone after he is gone. Also these days a lot of Navy are doing IA assignments with the Army and that means he isn't exactly safe on a ship somewhere. I am not yelling at you or any of these other girls. My guy is on the teams so I guess I understand the want from the service members side to make sure that everything is squared away and that the military will recognize her information wise and FRG wise. And yes, we all know those service member that have married and divorced that did the benefits thing. </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

tallsassymommy · April 2013

As for the woman that brought up not knowing etiquette and the military. Yes, there are a lot of uncouth people everywhere including the military. But military wives need to know the etiquette of not only our culture, but that of any other country you go to. We have to host tea's, dinners, support group meetings and visiting military dignitaries. Military girlfriends, fiances and wives have to spend a lot of time alone, give up their significant others/ childrens parent to serve you and your family, and last our loved one could go off to work and never come home even when it is just training. The young woman that mentioned she waited 5 years......that was your choice and this choice is between them and their families. The have choosen to be married before the state and god, may god bless their marriage and bring him home safe from Afganistan to her.

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