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Wedding Reception Forum
Unassigned seating
I'm newly engaged and reading up on ideas. I found one that said make two of your reception tables reserved (for parents an immediate family) and then let you guests sit where they want. Will this create chaos? Has anyone been to a wedding where this was done and did you like it?
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Re: Unassigned seating
Its best to have assigned tables that way you can group people together and they can choose which seat to take at that table.
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You don't need to assign people to individual chairs, but at least assign them to tables. Your guests will thank you for it, trust me. I HATE having to find a place for FI and I to squeeze in with free-for-all seating.
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[QUOTE]I've been to weddings where they had open seating and it was kind of a disaster. People who knew each other would take over several tables and steal chairs from other tables to fit more people at their tables.
Posted by caseyandlizzie[/QUOTE]
<div>This. The open seating weddings I've been to usually result in overcrowded tables, jumbled chairs and people wandering a little aimlessly in the beginning. You don't have to assign specific seats, but assigning tables makes sure no one feels like the new kid on the first day of school trying to find a seat at the lunch table.</div>
[QUOTE]That's asking for trouble. If you do unassigned seating, <strong>you need to plan for tables and chairs far above your guest count, to make sure that families/couples aren't split up because the only seats left are single chairs at different tables</strong>. You don't need to assign people to individual chairs, but at least assign them to tables. Your guests will thank you for it, trust me. I HATE having to find a place for FI and I to squeeze in with free-for-all seating.
Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]
This. I can't tell you how many weddings I went to as a child where I got stuck at some random table with people I didn't know because there wasn't a table with room for 5 at them left. The last wedding I went to, we even did the 'squeezing in extra chairs and stealing place settings from other tables" and had 12 people at a 10 person table because we didn't want to be split up.
Assigning tables is a courtesy for your guests. In all the weddings I've been to, it's always sooo much nicer to have an assigned table than it is to wonder around aimlessly trying to find a seat. I'd HIGHLY suggest you do assigned seating, trust me, your guests will appreciate it.
Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left.
It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.
It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers.
It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?)
It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together.
It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8.
I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit.
Do table assignments.
We weren't planning on it as it is not a completely formal, sit-down dinner...but it will be a semi-formal occasion and reading about people moving chairs and tables is making me nervous, I didn't really think about that until right now!
If you fear potential chaos/drama or must control the situation, I guess it would be best to do so. Assigned tables seems like a happy compromise but my guests are free to sit where they please. Afterall, they are adults.
However, it is necessary for plated meals.
[QUOTE] am newly engaged as well. I have never been to a wedding with assigned seating (other than for immediate family) and there has never been a problem with seating. I always thought of it as a little odd to assign seats. IMO, its a waste of paper, money and time. People who "dislike" each other wont sit together anyway or will simply suck it up for the day. I gues I'm lucky as this is not something we have to worry about. I've never seen the "chaos" that others are speaking of. If you fear potential chaos/drama or must control the situation, I guess it would be best to do so. <strong>Assigned tables seems like a happy compromise but my guests are free to sit where they please. Afterall, they are adults. However, it is necessary for plated meals.
</strong>Posted by yswillia[/QUOTE]
But a gracious host does what he/she can to make sure their guests are comfortable! Yes, we're all adults, but even the most out-going of us can't always be comfortable and have a good time! I was once at an open range seating reception where I only knew the groom and his family (we grew up together), but no one else. I randomly chose a table, that ended up with only ONE other couple, who sat all the way across, was older, and refused to engage in conversation with me. I'm a VERY outgoing person, but also polite, and didn't feel it appropriate to get up and try to find another table. If there had been assigned tables, I would have enjoyed myself much much more.
Now, think of this from the perspective of a very shy adult, and think how much worse this situation would feel!
Ettiquette is mainly about the comfort and ease of your guests. Something to keep in mind!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unassigned seating :<strong> But a gracious host does what he/she can to make sure their guests are comfortable!</strong> Yes, we're all adults, but even the most out-going of us can't always be comfortable and have a good time! I was once at an open range seating reception where I only knew the groom and his family (we grew up together), but no one else. I randomly chose a table, that ended up with only ONE other couple, who sat all the way across, was older, and refused to engage in conversation with me. I'm a VERY outgoing person, but also polite, and didn't feel it appropriate to get up and try to find another table. If there had been assigned tables, I would have enjoyed myself much much more. Now, think of this from the perspective of a very shy adult, and think how much worse this situation would feel! Ettiquette is mainly about the comfort and ease of your guests. Something to keep in mind!
Posted by mizjodi[/QUOTE]
As a guest, I am most comfortable sitting where I choose to sit. Being comfortable at a table with strangers can be difficult anytime. I try to break the ice but if it's not working so what? Chatting and becoming friendly with other guests is great and ideal but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Are you there to converse with others or to celebrate with the couple? I'm there to celebrate with the couple. How would having an assigned seat or table make you feel comfortable at that particular wedding?You didn't know anyone, and that's usually the first step in being uncomfortable. Again, I ask why are you there?
Relax, it is simply a personal choice, MY personal choice.
I went to one wedding without it and it was a mess. There were 2 tables set aside for "family" but second cousins and other extended family took those seats and Grandma and other close family ended up mixed in with other tables.
There was also not enough chairs. I would check with your venue, they may require at least assigned tables.
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If your community/family/friends are generally an assigned seating crowd it would prolly be best to make the effort. I think its a super cute idea, and would do it just because I am obsessed with planning (and love the many many ideas to make name cards)