Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

A Bundle of Nerves

My wedding is less than a month away. Every time I think about that, I want to throw up. Not because I'm disgusted by the idea, but because there's been such a build up. We got engaged last July, and after just over a year of planning, and very few things left to do, I feel nervous. There has to be something I'm missing. I'm having constant wedding nightmares about forgetting something or insulting someone with my poor etiquette. Forgetting something for our wedding would be a catastrophe, since we're having our wedding two hours away and people can't just scoot back to my house and pick up my forgotten hair comb or something.

I feel like I'm vibrating all over. It's been such a hard time these last few months. Not because we left things to the last minute (these last few months have seriously just been littlle DIY projects and invites, nothing too stressful), but for a totally different reason. My MIL passed away last Sunday from a very brief, violent battle with her fourth bout of cancer. And as we're planning our last minute wedding details, there are details that we're getting rid of. Like, we were going to have a slideshow, but decided against it because, while we will pay tribute to MIL with a hymn and having her and FFIL's wedding photo in the entrance to the church, we want to avoid turning this into a "second memorial service" (my BM's words). FI will miss out on his Mother/Son dance, while I get my Father/Daughter (I tried to ask if we could 86 this as well, but my father looked crushed). My parents will deliver a speech, but FFIL will be delivering his parent speech alone (he's insisted he's fine with this). I know there will be lots of "Oh, if only MIL could be here to see this!", and I'm preparing myself for that, but I know if I get that from people too many times, I'll fall apart.

I think I need to take up meditation, or else I'm going to have a nervous breakdown before my wedding.

Re: A Bundle of Nerves

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this right before you're wedding.  If you really think you might forget something just start packing all your DIYs up now (maybe you already have?) and make a checklist.  Put everything somewhere all together in a corner/room in your house. You still have a month and it sounds like you have everything under control.  As per the dances you can consider shortening your father/daughter dance. 

    I'm sure your day will be wonderful.  Your FMIL would have wanted you guys to have a great day so don't dwell too much on it.  Good luck!
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  • I know exactly how you feel. My wedding is still 10 months away, but my FMIL passed last April. FI has very little family other than her so it is certainly hard. I have been feeling that "vibrating" feeling of stress myself for awhile now due to dealing with the estate which is pretty complicated, along with working really long hours and now my Mom just broke her ankle. Have you tried massage? I find it helps a bit. There are also some good videos on youtube if you search hynosis or mediation for anxiety.
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  • It sounds like you have true blue anxiety. You might go see your doctor or a therapist about anxiety medication to take the edge off and get you through this stressful time. I developed anxiety about a year before we were engaged and it comes and goes depending on what is going on in life. With my wedding 2 months away and my to do list of last minute details being a mile long my anxiety has really increased big time. And you've got extra emotional circumstances on top of regular wedding stress and anxiety. Talking to a professional couldn't hurt.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_a-bundle-of-nerves?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:8e0cd66a-8221-4849-a4df-affdcb158ff2Post:34fc19c5-e343-4cbc-bb7d-0168647f93ae">Re:A Bundle of Nerves</a>:
    [QUOTE]It sounds like you have true blue anxiety. <strong>You might go see your doctor or a therapist about anxiety medication to take the edge off and get you through this stressful time.</strong> I developed anxiety about a year before we were engaged and it comes and goes depending on what is going on in life. With my wedding 2 months away and my to do list of last minute details being a mile long my anxiety has really increased big time. <strong>And you've got extra emotional circumstances on top of regular wedding stress and anxiety. Talking to a professional couldn't hurt.</strong>
    Posted by NO2012[/QUOTE]

    This.  Of course you're a bundle of nerves right now.  Most girls are nervous with only a month left to go, but you are going through some really tough stuff right now.  I agree that talking to a professional would be a good next step for you.  Good luck to you with everything.  I can't imagine what you're going through.  I hope that despite the sadness of losing FMIL, you and your FI and family will be able to enjoy your day.
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  • I'm sorry to hear everything you're going through. Have you ever heard of reiki? It's a meditative energy relaxation technique. It is the best thing I have done. They use it in hospitals on cancer patients and other sick people and then they also have private practices. For me, it keeps me far more relaxed and calm for longer periods of time than a massage and at least in my area it's cheaper than a massage. I try to go once a month but some people go every week!! Depending on the practitioner they will place their hands on or slightly above your body and let energy flow. I know it sounds kinda hippy, but if you really let yourself relax it is phenomenal. I highly recommend it.
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