My FI is Catholic. I am Anglican. FI and I have been talking for almost a year about which church we're going to attend and raise our future family in. We've been attending a Catholic church and an Anglican church. During our pre-marital counseling (we're getting married in my church), our priest advised us that it is our decision and to not let anyone else (i.e. our mothers) make us feel guilty about our decision. The part that makes all of this hard is that my mom used to be Catholic - practically all of her family is still Catholic and most of FI's family is Catholic - and she is so judgmental of it now.
She knows I'm heavily considering converting after FI and I are married and she doesn't like it. She keeps telling me "You won't be fed spiritually there. You won't like it." etc. etc. I think the thing that bothers me most is that FI has told me many times how, when he was growing up, he used to be criticized for being Catholic. He spent a lot of time in a Presbyterian church because of boy scouts and eagle scouts, and has told me about how the Protestant kids would judge him and tell him he's going to hell because he's Catholic. FI never did anything to them and yet they would be like that to him.
I've told my mom before how it bothers me that she's so judgmental but she doesn't hear it. It's like she thinks I'll just stay Anglican because that's what she wants. Anyway, the reason this got to me so much today is because yesterday evening, my mom and I met with the organist for the wedding and were picking out music. I mentioned that since we're having communion, we're going to ask our priest to inform all of the guests that if they don't want to receive, they can still come up and receive a blessing. This then got my mom started on not understanding why they won't receive communion in our church and how she's offended that she can't receive when she visits my aunt's Catholic church. Then she looked at our organist and said, "Catholics" so flippantly that I just went off on her about how judgmental she is. I felt bad for the organist because he was sitting there looking like he was super uncomfortable.
It's so ridiculous because she claims to be this Christian woman who is devoted to God and only wants to serve Him. I've been a follower of Jesus (I don't even like using the term 'Christian' because of the negativity associated with it) since I was 13 (I'm 27 now) and it's amazing to me how hypocritical some people can be, but it's even worse to see it in your own mother.
Anyway...I just want to know if you've had to deal with this type of judgment and how you've dealt with it. Thankfully, FMIL has been great and supportive and told FI that she'll be happy with whatever we decide to do.
