Problems with Bride and Best Man

catsue73 · April 2010

Hi!
Don't know if this is the proper place to ask about this, but here goes.
My youngest son, Matt is getting married May 15,2010. His brother, Jim will be his bestman. My sons have always been very, very close.
The problem seems to be with his fiancee, Becca. She is a spoiled "brat" and daddy's girl and has always had her way. Needless to say, we don't like her and thinks she's not a good choice for our son; however, we have never told him that and we are as nice as can be too her for his sake.
From the day Jim met Becca he has been nothing but gracious to her, but she has been rude and doesn't want to even try to get along with him. This has caused alot of strife for me because Jim talks to me about it alot. My husband and I are afraid that becca will turn Matt against Jim; Jim doesn't want to be around her because he's afraid he will "blow-up: and cause Matt to take becca's side. Any advice or suggestions will be extremely helpful.

kaynix21 · April 2010

Whether or not people agree or disagree with the relationship and marriage they are getting married. That's it.

It doesn't matter anymore what everyone else thinks.

The quickest way to lose your child over this is to be rude. Same goes for your son's brother.

They day I called my parents to tell them FI and I were getting married (maybe an hour after he proposed) they did not react well. They didn't sound happy or excited because they were concerned. I will never ever forget the way people reacted or treated us to start this wonderful process.

Your son needs to chill out and deal, be happy for his brother and if he doesn't like it he needs to pretend he does or it's going to ruin their relationship.

This girl is going to be your daughter and a wife and sister to your sons. They need to figure out how to deal with it.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

There is nothing you can do. You need to stay out of it.

Hopefully, both brothers are old enough and mature enough to continue their relationship, in spite of the new wife and her opinions. But one thing is for certain, no good can come of your involvement.

xoxob · April 2010

If you say anything, you'll make the rift within your family wider.

My FMIL likes me but hate the fact that her son is getting married. She expressed as much, and it resulted in him not speaking to her for two months - that wasn't because I told him I wanted him to.

So, you should continue to be polite and gracious and so should your other son.

Sloane99 · April 2010

It's entirely possible that Becca has sensed everyone's thoughts about her being a spoiled "brat". Even if you're nice to her face, people are very capable of picking up on one's true feelings and my guess is that your son is very aware of your feelings as well which may be making things harder on him and Becca than they need to be.

No good can come out of anyone getting involved. Matt is marrying her, and I'm assuming to some capacity you trust his judgement about things in life, try trusting this time, maybe there's something really decent about her that you can't see.

MairePoppy · April 2010

From one mom to another: Once your children have chosen their future spouses, the best thing you can do is try to find a way to accept that decision. I'm sure your fdil is picking up on the negativity, despite your efforts. Try to remember that this is the woman who makes your son happy and possibly, there might be grandchildren some day. It's in everyone's best interest to be on good terms.

You should advise Jack to talk to Becca or his brother about it. They need to resolve their differences, without your interference.

Problems with Bride and Best Man

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