Priest gift?

Re: Priest gift?

• naomikb member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  We are inviting our Lutheran pastor to the rehearsal dinner and to the wedding reception.  I have no idea if he will accept the invitation to either or both.  I hope that if he attends the reception he doesn't feel like he has to bring a gift.
  
  However, we attend church regularly and know our pastor really well.  It might be more awkward if you invite your minister that you don't know - that being said, if he thinks it would be uncomfortable or he doesn't want to attend, he can always politely decline.
  
  We are paying our pastor a $200 fee, in cash directly to him.  At this point we aren't planning to get him an extra gift.
  
  I have heard from other church administrators before though that if you want to get them a gift, you should stick to things like gift cards to a restaurant.  Pastors have so many crosses/church-themed decor/religion books and in general don't need them, although it might be a nice gesture.

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  The rule of thumb for the Catholic girls (and there is a specifically Catholic board, as well, if you have any related questions) is to invite the priest/deacon to the rehearsal dinner, the reception and to give a gift of $100-200. The $300 marriage fee is probably going to various administrative costs, general upkeep of the church, utilities, etc., and not to your deacon/priest.
  
  From what I've read when this question comes up on the Catholic board, most priests/deacons will decline the RD and reception invitations unless they are particularly close to the couple, and often must decline even then because of other pastoral obligations.

  

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• kellya01

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I think each church or parish might be different on officiant's fees.  I have to pay about $150 for the church and candle stands, and my pastor is not technically charging because he's employed by the church.  We're planning to give him probably another $150 or so, and maybe more depending on budget, because he's also doing our pre-marital counseling.

  
  

  I guess it all depends on what the priest is actually getting for performing the ceremony for you.  GL! 

  July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
  

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• dunnkat member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks so much for all of your advice, I think I have a better idea now of what to do.

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• ecuchika member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  We are using my cuz as our officiant and giving him at least $100.00.  He is invited to rehersal dinner, reception anyways b/c he is family.

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• Sunny4

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  From what I understand, the priest "gift" is usually a gift of money and not an actual nick nack.  Many of my friends have paid a wedding fee and then also a monetary gift to their priest.

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• GJones27 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Wow, I had no idea a gift to the priest is expected!  I'll have to think about what to do.  My priest basically told me we could give any amount to the church.

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