Open letters

chelseamb11 · July 2012

Dear people who call in,
We are not a store. We are a non-profit organizaion. You receive the item as a FREE GIFT with a donation. Stop treating us like a store and stop being mad when the item doesn't arrive as quickly as you'd like or that you don't get the service you would expect from a store
Love,
Sick of being yelled at

Dear little bro,
You are a rockstar.
Love,
Your favorite sister

Now you go.

brandichamberlain · July 2012

Dear FSIL,

You are BSC and I'm pissed you caused this much drama 3 days before my wedding. Getfucked. HARD.

You suck,

Your FSIL.

Smash Adams · July 2012

Dear Body,

I realize that we are back from vacation and have been thrown full-force into a shitstorm of work and other life stressors. I'm not happy about it either. You, however, are not making the transition any easier. Kindly getfucked.

Much Love,

Your Occupier

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

...shingles sister, Brandi?

Dear Car Insurance,

Suck a herp covered c0ck.

-Broke As A Joke

brandichamberlain · July 2012

In Response to Re: Open letters:
[QUOTE]...shingles sister, Brandi? Dear Car Insurance, Suck a herp covered c0ck. -Broke As A Joke
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

of course. Family war started last night and she got FMIL super involved and she and I got into it.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

OH and

Dear Lucy,

QUIT GETTING SICK WITH SHlT.

-mommy

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

OH AND

Dear Pinterest,

Whothefuck is Dayna Brown, I do not follow her and yet all her schit keeps showing up everywhere up in my feed. Knock that shiiit off

-me

chelseamb11 · July 2012

Brandi, I want to junkpunch your FSIL. I get that it's her little brother's birthday but wtf. She needs to stop being so selfish.

andrea2473 · July 2012

Dear flu in the middle of gorgeous weather on my days off for my birthday,

Go to hell.

Sincerely,
Feeling like crap

Dear H,

Thank you for dancing for me while I'm sick, bringing me lunch, and making my last birthday in my 20's special. You are the best

Love,
Your grateful wife

Nebb · July 2012

Dear weather forecast,
Please do not change what so ever between now and saturday. The idea of a shitton of rain at the concert is AWESOME because it will be a muddy mess, which is infinately more fun than everyone just being hot, sunburned and sweaty. I know not everyone will agree, but listen to me, not them.
You owe me,
Nebb

ahhhitsshannyn · July 2012

Ha I can steal two of AATBs and change the first one to car registrations and telling the dogs to stop shitting or throwing up in the middle of the night. I'm tired of that shiiit.

Dear red hair dye,

Why the fluck do you fade out so fast? I haven't even washed my hair in three days, but somehow you are half the color you started with. Three days ago. Fluck you.

Love,
Unhappy wannabe red head

brandichamberlain · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9edb4531-5480-4862-b9b0-967ba67dee42Post:17856d64-b95f-4b88-b7e5-797a8ca6a293">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Brandi, I want to junkpunch your FSIL. I get that it's her <strong>older</strong> brother's <strong>wedding</strong> but wtf. She needs to stop being so selfish.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

<div>FTFY!</div>

aragx6 · July 2012

Dear Kansas City USPS,

You lost the envelopes from my calligrapher and I swear to fuucking god I will never forgive you. Every day you continue to exist from this day on you shuold know it's only because of my magnamity -- I should burn your nasty-smelling ass to the ground. Others would thank me, I am certain.

Signed,

Fuuck off, you don't know my name anyway.

Nebb · July 2012

Dear internet,
I am 1 follower away from 1400 on pinterest, and im a nerd and that floors me. Please send someone ASAP who will think im awesome enough to press follow all so that I can hit that goal and freak out on twitter about it.
Kindly,
Me

chelseamb11 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9edb4531-5480-4862-b9b0-967ba67dee42Post:c525d809-66b8-4d26-b4d7-996ff37007f2">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters : FTFY!
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

Whoops, my bad. Sry!

brandichamberlain · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9edb4531-5480-4862-b9b0-967ba67dee42Post:ae6ec6dc-ef6f-49d6-beaf-3e948197dfd8">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear internet, I am 1 follower away from 1400 on pinterest, and im a nerd and that floors me. Please send someone ASAP who will think im awesome enough to press follow all so that I can hit that goal and freak out on twitter about it. Kindly, Me
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I want to follow you. (said in creepy voice)</div>

ErinG93 · July 2012

Dear life,

Calm down. I need a moment where I don' t feel like I'm going to cry.

Sincerely,

Overwhelmed and under appreciated

Dear husband,

Please stop working so much overtime. I know that the money is nice, but there are things that we need to get done and it's hard to do that when you're never home. You CAN say no to your co-workers. Try it. N-O, one syllable.

Thanks,

E

chelseamb11 · July 2012

Dear phone,
I am done in 3 minutes. Pretty pretty PRETTY please don't ring. I'm going to see gpa and I don't want to miss out on 10 minutes of visiting because you rang.

Love,
Going to be watching the clock like a hawk.

Nebb · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9edb4531-5480-4862-b9b0-967ba67dee42Post:6affd92c-2074-4a89-89c3-b9c4460c0ee5">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters : I want to follow you. (said in creepy voice)
Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]
lol im not sure if you really meant that but incase you do I PM'd you my link

NicoleSahara · July 2012

Dear Nebb,

Can I follow you too?

Signed,

Someone who has seen your pinterest before and likes all the pretty colors.

Dear phone guy,

You are the most annoying person in the world. Please leave my office right now. The phones are working fine so I don't even know why you're here.

Signed,

Pissed off person

eguzman2323 · July 2012

Dear work airconditioning,

Would be nice if you could find a happy middle between antartica cold and mojave desert hot.

Sincerely,

Human turning into a penguin/lizard

Nebb · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9edb4531-5480-4862-b9b0-967ba67dee42Post:f0e24c64-c9d6-4788-ae73-ccb6de734def">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Nebb, Can I follow you too? Signed, Someone who has seen your pinterest before and likes all the pretty colors. Dear phone guy, You are the most annoying person in the world. Please leave my office right now. The phones are working fine so I don't even know why you're here. Signed, Pissed off person
Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]
YGPM too

StefffiC · July 2012

Dear Laundry Sleeping Cat,

It is not cool to sleep in the clean underwear basket. I know who you are by the hair in my bra. You are the worst cat ever.

I'm going to find the most tasteless cardboard cat food and feed you that for the next week while the other cats eat Salmon.

Dear cat who puked on the car all week,

Please avoid the windshield. It sucks to have to wash cat puke off my car in the mornings before work. Maybe if you ate the food we provide you in the barn instead of the random half of rodent you would't puke?

Dear dog who crapped next to my car,

There are 11 acres on our farm, why my car door? I don't own a dog. Please crap outside your owner's door.

Thank you,

Disgruntled in the Country

snuff9861 · July 2012

Dear Green Peppers,

Why do you exist? You taste disgusting, and infect everything around you with your awful taste. Why cant you be more like your cousins red, orange and yellow? They are delicious.

Signed,

Green Pepper Hater.

celticmyss · July 2012

Dear Knee,

WTF are you hurting? I finally made it back to the gym yesterday and I don't need this crap. Just because Jason and Dot's knees are hurting does not mean you need to jump on the bandwagon.

Sincerely,

Person with enough other painful areas who doesn't need another one

Smash Adams · July 2012

Dear Snuff,

Green peppers are deeeeelicious

And so are avocadoes, for that matter.

You're wrong,

Smash

(Edited to put it in the proper format)

snuff9861 · July 2012

Dear Smash,

I respectfully disagree about green peppers.
Avocadoes are only useful in sushi. Otherwise they are too mushy

Signed,
A texture eater.

S6ix · July 2012

Dear Back, Why do you hurt me so much? Is it because I went and got old on you? What did I ever do to you? Please stop twinging every time I move. Love, Me Dear Potential Boss, Whoever You Are, You want to hire me. I work super hard and am pretty easy going. I'm really smart and creative, and I am really good at what I do. I am not so good at interviewing, but please overlook that and ask around - I'm worth it. Respectfully, Running Out Of Money Dear FI, I love you. Thank you for being patient and supportive even though I've been out of work for a while.

Girlie1030 · July 2012

Dear Brandi,

Want me to take care of your FSIL for you? I'm in a mood.

Hugs,
Girlie

Dear Sun,

Please hide behind a cloud for a while because my eyes are still dilated and I can't even walk into the hallway at work right now. I refuse to be a loser who wears sunglasses indoors and I'm sure as shlt not wearing those things from the ophthalmologists office.

Regards,
Funky eyed and sensitive

SEWF · July 2012

Dear time,

Please either go back a week so that I can continue my vacation instead of going to work tomorrow, or speed up to Thanksgiving, when I have another vacation.

Thanks, My Lazy Butt

Smash Adams · July 2012

I love the texture of raw green peppers. That's part of my love for them. And avocadoes are one of my favorite foods ever, though they seem to be polarizing. Which is surprising.

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