June 2012 Weddings

Who is invited to your shower?! I need help!

So FI and I are having a hard time with this. We are having only one shower and FIs mom and sis in law have rented a hall for a luncheon that holds 80 people and because so have basically set the cap at that. 

We are trying to help his mom and sister in law by compiling the guest list and I was just curious who is invited to your shower?!  If we invited all the women it would be right around 80. But I don't want to invite everyone just because ...

Obviously my close female friends and family will be invited, as well as a number of FIs friends wives who I have become close with, I'm just curious about everyone else?!
Some sites say every female invited to the wedding, others say only close friends and family... what about people in-between?!
FI has a lot of super close friends from college (and their families) who will be invited to the wedding but he hasn't seen in some time, he knows all their wives but I don't...
I'm just not sure what the etiquette is?!
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Re: Who is invited to your shower?! I need help!

  • I didn't invite any of FIs friends wives/fiances if I didn't have a personal relationship with them. 

    My mom has 40 first cousins; so we invited all of her female cousins, and then wives of the cousins if they were local. That was the most fair way that I could think of.

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  • I agree with inviting people you have a personal relationship with and FI's family who are females.  Honestly I would just invite the people who you are comfortable around and who you think would like to share in celebrating this big event in your life with you!
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  • I plan to follow the rule that if I haven't spent time with or consistently communicated with you in the past 6 months then no invite. I do plan to invite: Bridal Party, close cousins and my close gf's from church and college. It will be about 60-70 invites.

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  • Our guest list is about 160, and I have 40 people on my list to be invited to the shower. I'm inviting family, close friends and neighbors. I figured if we invited everyone then some of FI's guests might get the invite and think "who is this?"
    I had FI look over the list before I gave it to my BMs, figured if there was anyone he really wanted to invite he could have the option.

  • Thanks ladies! Ya I think my biggest problem is FIs side, he has 3/4 of the wedding list! I think Ive got it!
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  • Since this is your only shower, I would invite female friends that you are close to. I wouldn't invite your FI's female friends/friend's wives if you don't have a personal relationship with them.

    I would invite whatever female family of yours and your FIs that are invited to the wedding. I would also see if there are any friends of your mom or FMIL that they'd like to invite to the shower.
  • We are inviting all women on the guest list to my shower. Most of them won't come because they live out of town.  I think there will be about 70-80 women invited.
  • I agree with Kelsey and that's what I'm doing.

    The women I'm not inviting include people like my coworkers wives (since I only kinda know them), and my FI's friend's GFs/wives.
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