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I wouldn't assume the service charge is a tip. My caterer had an 18% service charge and the contract specifically said it was not a gratuity to the staff. I would ask to make sure.
I was at a wedding recently where they had a father/daughter dance without a mother/son dance. No one seemed to notice or think it was odd so you guys can skip it if doing anything would be too hard on your FI.
One of DH's groomsmen found out after he agreed to be in the wedding that he would be deployed during our wedding. We sent an invite anyway. You never know, plans can change.
I tied my dad's cufflinks to my bouquet and we put a pink bouquet near our guestbook for DH's late mother. No one likely noticed either of those things, but we knew they were there.
Fully traditional weddings can last for days in some cultures. I had an American/western wedding with Chinese traditions incorporated into it so was able to fit it into a 5 hour timeframe. I changed my dresses in a bathroom stall without assistance. Changed my hair and makeup in the bathroom too. I planned all of that out in advance to make sure it wouldn't take too much time. It definitely wouldn't have worked if I did a full-on cultural wedding, and I would have planned for a better location and longer reception. I agree, OP should have taken these things into account when planning their wedding.