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  • Re: Don't want my ex-husband's last name on my invitations

    The NSA isn't going to come after you if you use your maiden name or middle name or "Future Mrs xyz" instead, but it would be confusing and neither traditional nor formal.
    Don't think of it as his last name. Think of it as yours and your kids'.
    Besides, what's in a name? Rose, sweet, blah blah
    adk19
  • Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

    But seriously... if you're inviting your best friends and family to your wedding, don't you want to meet their SOs and wouldn't your wedding be a great opportunity to do so? Isn't it normal to care about your friends and their lives and want to be involved?
    If you care so little about a friend that you have no interest in meeting their SO and you'll tell them to their face that their relationship isn't important enough to you to merit an invitation, then why are you even inviting them? Save the money and don't spend it on friends you clearly care so little about.
    Because these couples are greedy, entitled shits that want presents.  All the presents.
    True! And we all know they are obligatory. Lizzie Post and Ask Natalie said so!
    adk19glasgowtolondon
  • Re: Refusing a Plus 1?

    The "no SOs we've never met" thing gets me every time.

    To anyone using that stupid rule, I'd like to pose the question "why have you not met them?" and really think about it.

    What if the reason you've never met is because you don't live in the same town as the guest and therefore haven't met their SO yet. So... you're going to invite your guest, expect them to come and fawn all over your relationship, while essentially telling them that their relationship means about as much to you as dog doodoo... and you're also making them travel alone and without a partner to split a hotel room with. And you're separating two people in love for possibly a good number of days.

    What if the reason you've never met is because your guest and/or their SO has been super busy with work/school and has been so stressed and frazzled that there hasn't been time to coordinate a meetup? Assuming they happen to be free the night of your wedding, that means you are separating them on a night where they would have been able to spend much needed time together. And you're also turning what could have been a wonderful, relaxing and fun break from the madness for your guest, into a very bittersweet event since they won't be able to share it with their most important person.

    What if the reason you've never met is because the SO is shy/anti-social/just has no interest in meeting people? In this case, if you invite them, they probably won't come anyway, so you don't spend the money but you don't look like a total jerk.

    What if the reason you've never met is because you've been so self-absorbed and wrapped up in your own wedding that you haven't taken the time to get up to speed in what and who is important in your friends' lives? If you don't invite them, your friends will see that the Bridezilla behavior you've exhibited the last few months extends even further: they don't get to share an evening with a person they love because they dared to find that love during your speshul "it's all about me and my wedding" season and that you care more about the dress and flowers and placesettings you're spending your money on than you do your friend.


    We could go on and on with more examples.

    But seriously... if you're inviting your best friends and family to your wedding, don't you want to meet their SOs and wouldn't your wedding be a great opportunity to do so? Isn't it normal to care about your friends and their lives and want to be involved?
    If you care so little about a friend that you have no interest in meeting their SO and you'll tell them to their face that their relationship isn't important enough to you to merit an invitation, then why are you even inviting them? Save the money and don't spend it on friends you clearly care so little about.
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostlyndausvimadamerwinadk19ILoveBeachMusicglasgowtolondoncharlotte989875Greenjinjo Cookie Pusherkimmiinthemittenpinupbride6189ernursejOliveOilsMomthisismynickname2mollybarker11InLoveInQueenslizybeffJediElizabethAPDSS22Roamingnomewink0erin
  • Re: Sibling as a Plus One?



    Eta: I think the obvious thing to do (which I probably did but can't remember since it was 5+ years ago) was ask the host if it was ok if I brought my mom as my guest. I also don't know how this got to be about cupcakes and margaritas. Also I think in any case it's fine to ask the host any questions you need to ask. How would that ever be rude?
    Nope, if she just put "and guest" then you in no way needed to ask her if it was ok to bring your mom. A generic "and guest" means pretty much any guest you want. So you did nothing wrong there. :)
    InLoveInQueens
  • Re: Sibling as a Plus One?

    scribe95 said:
    If the point of etiquette is to treat your guests well I don't see at all how this is a problem. 
    You can treat a guest well without letting them bring their own entourage.

    If it's ok to invite truly single guests without a +1 then it's ok to not accommodate random subs for a SO. A guest is entitled to have their SO invited but that's it.

    A host should be happy to host one's SO. But just because the host had already allocated money for that plate, it doesn't mean that they should then feel 100% the same about hosting a random.

    One plate at our wedding cost the equivalent of our natural gas or cell phone bill for a month. While it was a given we would want to spend that to honor our guests' relationships, it was not a given that we'd want to spend that money on an uninvited guest.

    Now, if a friend said to me, "Got your wedding invite! Turns out DH can't attend but I'll let you know if I can soon," then I would likely offer them the option to bring whomever. Whereas someone straight asking for it (especially if they are in town and know other guests) I find irksome. Because it's asking the host to spend their money and share their wedding with someone not invited. It seems presumptuous.
    STARMOON44Jen4948[Deleted User]InLoveInQueensSP29