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I would just let it go. If they don't show up, maybe you'll have dodged a bullet. And if they do show up without the appropriate attire, then that's your FI's issue to deal with. Leave it in his hands.
Knottieb268693631c25ddc said:MobKaz said:Knottieb268693631c25ddc said:For Pete's sake. Obviously we will be fulfilling the requirements. Is that even a thing? People try to get married on a DW without following that country's requests?
Not that it has ANYTHING to do with this topic, but yes we are both well aware of the requirements. My fiancé is not originally from the states and his family still lives there. We have been to Ireland five times in the last three months alone. Our "nearest and dearest" will be there THANKS TO the wedding being a DW.
Please, if not about the question I asked, do not reply. I too am quite capable of Googling marriage requirements of any country, but fortunately I have had many opportunities to discuss and plan those details with officials IN Ireland.
Because it does happen, we do feel compelled to comment regarding the thoroughness and/or integrity surrounding destination weddings, particularly ones that occur in countries with more strict requirements.
Finally, when you post on public forums, you have to be willing to accept any and all comments, whether expressly invited or not.
What does it matter to you if a couple has a "secret ceremony" and then has a DW after? If that's their choice, let them be. Two weddings sounds like entirely too much to do, but someone else's business is just that. Seems like an excessive amount of work to question the integrity of the presence of paperwork behind an international wedding rather than to simply give advice on inviting coworkers.
Finally, when I post on an etiquette forum in relation to invitations, I expect to receive comments on that topic. If I had questions about destination weddings, I'd have posted there.
That's because it's lying to them. What they are invited to after a secret ceremony is a reenactment, not a "wedding." The wedding is the ceremony that actually legally joins them in marriage and entitles them to the recognition and benefits of a married couple-whether or not it's a religious ceremony, whether or not family members and friends are present, whether or not the bride wears a wedding gown, whether or not there are other trappings of a "wedding."
And nobody appreciates being lied to-particularly if they've taken off from work, traveled to a foreign country, and bought a gift to attend what actually is not a "wedding."
And finally, it's not up to you how people should respond to you. Your posting here in this forum is a prima facie request for the members' opinions on anything you post.
If your cousin is an adult, you can invite her without inviting your aunt. If you have an email address or social media connection to her, or even her phone number, I'd just ask her for her postal address and say that you'd like to send her an invitation to your wedding without mentioning her mother.
If your MOHs can't attend the party for whatever reason (and you need not to be hosting or planning it beyond giving the hostess a guest list), then have the party without them. The presence of anyone at your bachelorette party, including your wedding party members, while perhaps desirable, is not mandatory.
Otherwise, it needs to be scheduled for a time when they can participate. Again, that would be up to the hostess.
@sparklepants41, I'm sorry to hear about that.
When it comes to phone numbers, I wouldn't want to give mine to a total stranger on the streets.