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  • Re: Are we properly hosting out wedding? Kind of a destination wedding, on a budget

    Hosting sounds spot on.

    Now... Thursday is going to inconvenience some people. It's just a fact. But if it presents a hardship for anyone they aren't obligated to come. And some people may be fine with it (It's almost always cheaper to fly on a wednesday or thursday than a friday)

    As long as your VIPs are good, sounds great. Best wishes!
  • Re: Paying for Guest Parking

    banana468 said:
    I'm not sure what's really etiquette approved or what's on the hosts and what isn't... but I know as a guest, if I were invited to a wedding and then had to pay to park and then walk three blocks in heels it would leave a bad taste in my mouth and would likely be one of my biggest take aways from the wedding.
    And if the wedding had a bunch of frills (favors, photobooth, really expensive bridal gown, etc) I'd judge the couple.

    I know some cities it's hard to find parking in. But by the same token, I think lots of downtown venues tend to be on the higher-end. There are always exceptions, but lots of times you can find more affordable venues in suburban and rural areas where it's easier to park.
    I feel like if you're going to go all the way and have a fancy venue, that valet is almost an expectation.

    I don't think you're being realistic with an understanding of how some cities work or how the planning works. 

    That's essentially telling a couple who may reside in a city to move the location of their event because parking is limited where they are. 

    It's not just a 'downtown' situation if the entire area is set up that way.   Do you honestly suggest that a couple relocate their entire wedding??

    I'll agree that if the entire event appears to have boatloads of bells and whistles and the guests have to pay for parking then that smells off.   If the guests have a lot of options for getting to the venue this doesn't seem so bad IMO. 

    A couple can have their wedding wherever they want.
    My point was that in many areas, downtown wedding receptions are often more upscale so if a couple is having a downtown wedding they already know it's going to be expensive. And if it's too expensive for them to provide parking, maybe they should be looking at other options for their own well-being (not even necessarily the guests'. OOT guests might prefer staying closer to the airport / not driving out on country backroads).

    Maybe there are some really great downtown budget venues and I'm just personally not familiar (though, on that note, it makes me wonder about the safety of the neighborhood which would again make me wish there were valet...)

    I haven't been to many downtown weddings. One in Pittsburgh, one in Chicago, two in St. Louis (including my own). Chicago had a shuttle and the others all had valet.
    Every other wedding I've ever gone to I've had to park myself but parking were close. These tended to be rural and suburban weddings.

    Maybe I've just been spoiled so I don't understand?

  • Re: What kind of gift would you bring?

    MesmrEwe said:
    Hostess fail, "They don't know what they don't know" - be forgiving because it could be FAR worse!..  My money would be on...  "Bride and groom aren't inviting everyone that is invited to the luncheon that M/GM/etc. is hosting and they know enough not to call it a shower even though it really is and they're not too thrilled with the bride/groom's cutting of the otherwise guest list for their family circle per traditions of old where weddings were more of a social/society/family reunion style event than otherwise..."

    The thing to remember about registries is that they're only a guideline, not a "required to purchase off of" thing.  If you don't like anything or it's over your budget, be mindful of the recipient, and get what you want to give them.  
    @MesmrEwe am I reading this as your thinking there's a possibility not everyone invited to the luncheon is invited to the wedding?

    The bride is a high school friend who I was close with at the time but her job has taken her primarily out of the country so we don't keep in close contact anymore. However despite that I was honestly considering finding a weekend sitter and spending the $1000 that would likely be involved to go to this wedding (it's out of state).

    But the wedding is now 8.5 weeks away and I never got a save the date. I know STDs aren't mandatory and invites shouldn't go out until 8 weeks. But a few of us other high school friends were talking and we're all waiting on pulling the trigger for plane tickets until we know for 100% sure we're invited to this wedding.

    Now you've got me worried...
  • Re: Distance between reception and ceremony spots??

    25 minutes isn't great. But it's not the end of the world.

    Though, curious in which direction the 25 minutes is. In regards to where the majority of your guests are traveling from, if they were to drive straight to the church from their homes, would the new location add an additional 25 minutes to that drive? Would it make it closer? Or somewhere in the middle?

    An hour and a half from everyone is kind unfortunate. It's far enough away that I wouldn't want to make the round trip in a day but also close enough that I'd hate to waste money on a hotel.
    I'm just curious how the new location would add to or take away from that pain.

    But regardless, 25 minutes isn't so bad as long as it's truly 25 minutes.

    It's important for a Catholic to get married in a Catholic church, and assuming there's no way to change the reception venue plan at this stage, as a guest, I'd rather drive an extra 25 minutes than see the couple turn their backs on an important Sacrament.

  • Re: Parents Treating Invitations Like Oprah Treats Gifts -- Everybody Gets One!

    So even if people eat at different times, it's not going to work out like you think.

    The people who get there first will put their purses/coats/cameras etc at the table. They will keep the table the whole night whether they're eating or not.
    Also, since seats aren't assigned, the tables won't be full. A group of 5 might take a table for 6 and this will happen all over.

    The people will do the same in the balcony area. But they have the added bonus of being exiled in a separate room and having to carry plates and drinks up stairs in high heels.

    And the rest will be left with no seating... the entire night.

    Also... people like to eat. I have never once gone to a wedding and thought, "Well, the buffet line is open now... but I think I'll wait to eat for a while." I'm pretty sure no one has. With a few rare exceptions, everyone is going to want to eat as soon as they are allowed to eat.

    Also, I think very few people would prefer a food station and no chair to a seated meal and a chair. It's hard to appreciate slightly yummier food when you don't have a place to eat it.

    You should switch to the seated meal and/or cut your guest list.
    At the very least you need to bring in extra chairs along the wall or something and even then it's still really bad.