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1. The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Discussion by mrsbanany · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   Ladies, I am stuck. Our current guest list is at 196 invites, our venue holds 220 so it isn't a problem. However, this number is giving me serious anxiety. I never wanted a wedding this big, but my FI comes from a large family so I have to get over it. We have been going back and forth on cousins for a while. Each of his…

2. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Reply by antoto · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I would be surprised if he really didn't feel slighted since he is doing a tit-for-tat thing. If he wasn't upset by it then he would't object to your cousin. He obviously feels (right or not) that he is being cheated. Talk to him about this. Ask him how he feels.

3. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Reply by mrsbanany · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   Like PP said, 196 includes cousins. As far as communication, I think the communication has been clear that I would ideally have a small wedding but that is just not possible because as you can see we are still over 100 without cousins.

4. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Reply by crackktheskyy · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   @PrettyGirlLost : I think the 196 includes all of the cousins and she is now trying to cut the list down closer to 100.

5. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Reply by PrettyGirlLost · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I think they have communication issues if OP wanted a small wedding and they are currently inviting 196 with the possibility of adding another 81 people to that total.

6. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Reply by HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I think you two have communication issues. If he's turning this into a tit-for-tat, that's a problem.

7. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Reply by mrsbanany · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   @scribe95 there have been countless arguments. The arguments are over inviting my one cousin but not his. He is fine not inviting his cousins but he says that if he does not invite his, I cannot invite mine. I am not saying he can't invite his family, I suggested that he only invite aunts and uncles which he said was fine.…

8. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Reply by Inkdancer · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I disagree with your FI. When inviting in circles, your circles are different from FI's circles. It would start family drama to invite half of FI's cousins and not the other half. It would not start family drama to invite your one cousin and not his cousins. (At least, not within your individual family. Stuff he and his…

9. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

   

   Reply by missnc77 · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I'm mainly just a lurker, but you seem to have more drama/issues that pop up than any other poster. I think it's time you sit down, take a breath, and quit finding new things to stress out over. I know everyone has some wedding stress, but holy moly! Relax.

10. Re: The great guest list war of 2014

    

    Reply by melbenso · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

    Is he close to all 80 of his cousins? That seems pretty unlikely. My mom has almost 100 cousins. (Her dad was one of 12 and her mom was one of 8). Growing up, she was close to about 5 of those cousins and only saw the others at funerals, etc. Would it be possible to have the invite circle be cousins that you are close to?…