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1. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Reply by pumpkinsandturkeys · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I have a bit of a different perspective on this because I've been in the exact same position as your stepdaughter. My (step)dad was around from the time I was a toddler, and my mother married him when I was 2. I always felt that he was the best father to me, even at a young age, and I lived primarily with him and my mom. I…

2. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Reply by mzbda · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I have to say I enjoyed reading this thread. I'm 28 and have had three last names, without having been married. When I was born, I had biodad's name. When him and my mom broke up, she changed it to her name. I wasn't more than a year old. When she got married when I was 3, her hubby adopted me and my name was changed to…

3. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Reply by JaxInBlue · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   Agree with PPs about exploring options for hyphenation. Also, I don't know where you are, but some states in the US allow a wide breadth for using a name socially and not jumping immediately into a legal name change. It might be possible to have a period, perhaps until your stepdaughter is a little older and can be her own…

4. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Reply by BMoreBride6 · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I think this would be entirely different if SD actually had bio mom's name but from my understand she does not, she has Dad's name...so changing it really doesn't change much for bio mom (it's not like her name is being removed). If her dad changes his name, and she does not, she will be an 8 year old with a last name that…

5. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Reply by happywiggle · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   @pumpkinsandturkeys I come from something similar--I have my stepfather's last name. However, I hate it; I was tricked into it at the age of 6, and it was illegally changed (long story). I can't wait to change it. It's just easier if I wait until I have it legally changed than to have changed it only to have it changed…

6. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Reply by Simply Fated · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   You say that it's her biomom's choice not to see her daughter.... but you also say she lives in another country. It's not like she lives one town over. Did Biomom get a choice in how far she lives from her daughter? I can't speak for Biomom, but I think that if my hypothetical daughter ever wanted to change her last name…

7. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Reply by mbross3 · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   I agree with PP. Maybe try hyphenating? 6 is pretty young to be making this kind of decision. Since she has her dad's last name now, and he is changing his, it makes a little more sense to change the daughter's as well. If the mother isn't into the idea, I would suggest just waiting a few years and seeing if your…

8. Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Discussion by MuttiSigyn · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   My FI is taking my name when we get married, and his daughter (who has lived with us since she was 11 months old) has told us that when we get married, she definitely wants to have my surname too, since she currently has her dad's surname. I'm actually really happy about this, and so is FI, but we're worried about how to…

9. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

   

   Reply by kmmssg · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

   Well, somewhere in all of this it might good to weave into the conversation that after your marriage the child will not have either of her parents' last name and she would like to keep having the same last name that daddy has. The mom may decide that if the name is to be changed it will be her last name. She is within her…

10. Re: Step-daughter wants to change her name, how to tell her mother?

    

    Reply by MuttiSigyn · February 2014 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum

    Well, its done now. Why shouldn't we have asked her mother? SD will be almost 8 by the time we change her name. I knew I wanted to change my name by the time I was 8.