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1. Re: Name Change

   

   Reply by Lisa50 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   Am I being disrespectful by not taking his name? Is he being sensitive? And most importantly, if anyone has been through this, how has it been? Is he still resentful? Did you change it to his? Did he get over it? Good questions. Only you know if you are being disrespectful by not taking your husband's last name. This is…

2. Name Change

   

   Discussion by SmirkySmile63 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   Hello, I'm new here; but one of my married friends suggested I come here for some advice about an issue I've been having. My FI (we'll call him John Jones) is 31 and very traditional, and the "last of his line". His father passed away a few years ago and I think that may affect his attitude as well. Basically, I've decided…

3. Re: Name Change

   

   Reply by SmirkySmile63 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   Thank you Steph, its good to have an impartial audience to get a new view. I do see your point. I know I can be a little bull headed when I think I'm right. I thought that letting our future kids have his name and adding his to mine was a good compromise, but I came up with and executed that compromise myself, so maybe we…

4. Re: Name Change

   

   Reply by aragx6 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   I don't mind too much changing my name because FI has been so supportive about it, but if he'd pitched anything resembling a fit I probably wouldn't change it at all. That might come across as spiteful, but I'm not convinced it is. You changing your name is a huge deal and he needs to respect whatever you choose to do. One…

5. Re: Name Change

   

   Reply by jlyon148 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   I was adamently against ever changing my last name before I got engaged(my dad died when I was young and I wanted to keep his name). I have now realized that for my fiance it is very important that I take his name and I have accepted it. It's different for each couple and you should do what you are comfortable with. I had…

6. Re: Name Change

   

   Reply by SmirkySmile63 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   Thank you. For what it's worth, if someone makes an assumption and calls me Mrs. Jones I'll either answer to it if its not a big deal, or like you said politely correct them. I live in Brooklyn and work in Manhattan and women not changing their names is fairly common. Some of his married friends have different last names,…

7. Re: Name Change

   

   Reply by KRoark87 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   I don't think it's disrepectful at all. The idea that women HAVE to take the groom's name no questions asked is old hat nowadays. I personally think it's an old, sexist idea tyed to the old purpose of weddings in which fathers sold their daughters as property. You have every right to keep your name. If he doesn't respect…

8. Re: Name Change

   

   Reply by StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

   Here's the thing - I think hyphenating probably is the best compromise for you, but as you noticed yourself, it's something you need to talk through and decide together (and believe me, I get how hard that can be - I've single-handedly masterminded a few "compromises" myself over the course of my relationship with FI). Try…

9. Re: Name Change

   

   Reply by pgcp · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

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10. Re: Name Change

    

    Reply by StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012 · Home› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

    You're not being disrespectful by not taking his name (you're rejecting his name, not him as a person), but I think you're maybe both being a little insensitive. He's obviously upset that you're not taking his name, and I feel like your attitude is a little "too bad, so sad, get over it," when, given the circumstances…