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Etiquette

Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

l9il9i
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So I've been thinking very strongly about having an unplugged ceremony.  I want guests to be there and not worry about taking pictures and Facebooking the event.  I've read articles about putting a little note at the bottom of the program along the lines of:

 "We want you to be able to relax and have fun with us today!  This in mind, we invite you to put down your favorite devices and just be present in the moment with us.  Please leave your camera in your bag (we've got photography covered!), and put your cell phone on mute (we promise they'll call back!). 

We're happy to share our professional wedding photos later, but the greatest gift you can give us today is just being fully here with us in this sacred and special moment."

I see the benefits and generally like the idea of just taking some time to be "unplugged".  My parents see it as telling guests they have no common sense and that they will get extremely offended.  I feel as though if I was a guest at a wedding I wouldn't care and would respect their wishes.

Any thoughts?  Anyone been to a wedding like this or had one?  How did it go over?

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Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

  • emmaaaemmaaa
    Moderator 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
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    edited April 9
    I agree with your parents. Telling people to put their cameras and cell phones away reminds me of being in high school where your phone got taken away if you used it during class. If I were you I would just let this one go. Most people know to be present in the moment and some people may want some pictures of their own. If I were a guest, I would think it was rude of you to tell me to "unplug."

    formerly: eg72

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  • loro929loro929
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    edited April 9
    chibiyui said:
    Ask your officiant to make an announcement at tge beginning, Please keep phones on silent, etc" like at the movies. Other than that, if people want to be rude, they'll be rude.
    This. I think if you need people to be unplugged at the ceremony. This is the ONLY way to do so that does not come off as rude. 

    As I mentioned, I would think that every single guest at your wedding already has the common sense to put their phone on silent during the ceremony. I think that it is almost a given, which is why I consider it rude to insinuate that they do not already know to do this by specifically writing in on the program...



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  • loro929loro929
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    l9i said:
    loro929 said:
    l9i said:

    So I've been thinking very strongly about having an unplugged ceremony.  I want guests to be there and not worry about taking pictures and Facebooking the event.  I've read articles about putting a little note at the bottom of the program along the lines of:

     "We want you to be able to relax and have fun with us today!  This in mind, we invite you to put down your favorite devices and just be present in the moment with us.  Please leave your camera in your bag (we've got photography covered!), and put your cell phone on mute (we promise they'll call back!). 

    We're happy to share our professional wedding photos later, but the greatest gift you can give us today is just being fully here with us in this sacred and special moment."

    I see the benefits and generally like the idea of just taking some time to be "unplugged".  My parents see it as telling guests they have no common sense and that they will get extremely offended.  I feel as though if I was a guest at a wedding I wouldn't care and would respect their wishes.

    Any thoughts?  Anyone been to a wedding like this or had one?  How did it go over?

    Your parents are right. 

    It is offensive and rude to tell guests to "unplug". People are there because they want to see and share in your and your FH's special moment. Give them credit, they do *shock* tend to have common sense. However, if I was told to unplug, I would make sure that I was 100% plugged in.


    I respect your opinion and I do want to hear both sides. 

    On a side note, I would certainly hope someone wouldn't do this at anyone's wedding - it is far more offensive and rude in my book.

    Plus: when I said I would 100% not unplug, I hope you realize that I meant I would simply NOT turn off my phone even if it was mentioned in the program. As I mentioned, I already think that keeping it silent is a given for most people. However, I do think it is a bit extreme to ask them to turn off their phones and devices.
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  • l9il9i
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    eileenrob said:
    Your parents are correct. I've seen brides act super controlling and their reasons for wanting an unplugged wedding is that they don't want other people's pictures ending up on social media sites without their approval. You, however, seemed to be concerned about your guests "not worrying" about taking pictures. My advice is that YOU shouldn't worry about this. Guests that want to take pictures should feel free to do so, and guests that don't want to, simply won't.
    I would agree with this.  I don't think anyone will physically get in the way as we are on a stage.  Like I said, I am worried about flash as I think it will be extremely distracting in the dimmer venue.  As others said, I don't think it would be as much of an issue for the pastor to say "Please turn off your flash"  Thoughts?
  • lolo883 said:
    I have the unpopular opinion of being SOMEWHAT in favor of an unplugged ceremony... but it really is a stretch to tell people how much they should "be there in the moment." It's your moment, not theirs. You can't control how they react or feel about it. I'll be blocking off the aisle with a lace swag and asking people not to take their own photography because it has been annoying to me at every wedding I've ever been at when people stand up, lean out, or obstruct the aisle during the wedding to take pictures with their bright ass phone and audible digital shutter noise. The request is to keep my other guests from being pissed off by this AND to keep from mucking up my pictures, NOT about telling them how they need to personally experience anything. But hell, you wanna liveblog my damn wedding on Twitter or text your babysitter go right ahead, as long as you can do it from the privacy of your own lap.
    I've never seen this happen at a ceremony...and I go to a lot of weddings. Regardless, people who are this rude and ridiculous aren't going to be deterred by a long-winded note in the program.
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  • I agree with PP's. Also, why do you think everyone is going to be facebooking the event? Are you really cool and popular?
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  • l9il9i
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    Thank you all! 

    One outstanding question: Like I said, I am worried about flash as I think it will be extremely distracting in the dimmer venue. As others said, I don't think it would be as much of an issue for the pastor to say "Please turn off your flash" Thoughts?

    daradevries
  • l9i said:

     


    eileenrob said:

    Your parents are correct.
    I've seen brides act super controlling and their reasons for wanting an unplugged wedding is that they don't want other people's pictures ending up on social media sites without their approval. You, however, seemed to be concerned about your guests "not worrying" about taking pictures. My advice is that YOU shouldn't worry about this. Guests that want to take pictures should feel free to do so, and guests that don't want to, simply won't.

    I would agree with this.  I don't think anyone will physically get in the way as we are on a stage.  Like I said, I am worried about flash as I think it will be extremely distracting in the dimmer venue.  As others said, I don't think it would be as much of an issue for the pastor to say "Please turn off your flash"  Thoughts?



    Oh, okay. Your original question had nothing to do with the flash being a concern. At my own wedding, the professional photographers' cameras had much more of a flash than my guests' cameras and iphones. But to answer your question, a pastor's request would irk me less than the couple's, especially if the ceremony took place in a house of worship.
  • saacjwsaacjw
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    PDKH said:
    lolo883 said:
    I have the unpopular opinion of being SOMEWHAT in favor of an unplugged ceremony... but it really is a stretch to tell people how much they should "be there in the moment." It's your moment, not theirs. You can't control how they react or feel about it. I'll be blocking off the aisle with a lace swag and asking people not to take their own photography because it has been annoying to me at every wedding I've ever been at when people stand up, lean out, or obstruct the aisle during the wedding to take pictures with their bright ass phone and audible digital shutter noise. The request is to keep my other guests from being pissed off by this AND to keep from mucking up my pictures, NOT about telling them how they need to personally experience anything. But hell, you wanna liveblog my damn wedding on Twitter or text your babysitter go right ahead, as long as you can do it from the privacy of your own lap.
    I've never seen this happen at a ceremony...and I go to a lot of weddings. Regardless, people who are this rude and ridiculous aren't going to be deterred by a long-winded note in the program.
    I've also never seen this at a wedding either. One person took pictures during the ceremony, and honestly, it was at an appropriate moment and they did nothing to block anyone or anything. This one friend is someone who didn't even pick up a program (she came in late so wasn't handed one by the ushers when they sat people), so would have taken the pictures no matter what. I did not notice this friend taking pictures or that she and a couple others came in late. Seriously, had no idea until they told me later. Make this one less thing on your list of things to worry about. 

    If you are concerned about people posting things to social media without you're OK, adjust your settings so that you have to OK any picture of you. It doesn't stop people from putting them up, but honestly, nothing will, so at least control what gets tagged in your name. 
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  • eg72 said:

    I agree with your parents. Telling people to put their cameras and cell phones away reminds me of being in high school where your phone got taken away if you used it during class. If I were you I would just let this one go. Most people know to be present in the moment and some people may want some pictures of their own. If I were a guest, I would think it was rude of you to tell me to "unplug."

    And not only that, but I would still take whatever pictures I wanted to anyways. I know how to turn off the flash and be discreet.

    I don't like it when Bride's try to micromanage and conyrol their guests by telling them what to wear, what to turn off, etc.

    You aren't going to be looking at your guests during the ceremony you anyways. . . You will be looking at your FI and your officiant. Once you are pronounced married and you turn and face the audience for the 1st time, who cares if everyone wants to take photos? That's a happy moment that many of your guests will want to capture.

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  • KGold80KGold80
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    I don't think our guests will actually be offended by the request because we're having a relatively small wedding and we know the family and friends who will be attending pretty well. I think it's another one of those "know your crowd" things. Flashes from camera phones taken at the exact same time as the photographer can actually cause professional images to be washed out. You can ask people to turn their flashes off until the cows come home, but chances are good some won't know how or won't bother. I don't really want our professional wedding photos to be ruined.
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