Probably nosy, but....

princessofgenovia

lolo883 said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

"If anything, the woman in my friends group talk much more openly about things then the men" - huskypuppy14 That is pretty much what I am saying. The women talk more openly, good and bad, and are not afraid to ask for or offer help. The guys talk about sex as much or more than we do, but there is much more posturing, impress the other guys. He will leave an impression that sex is always great and non-stop. Even if he is frustrated that wife and his work schedules are leaving no time for love, or trying to conceive on a schedule bugs him, he won't say being asked to save it for three days then do it then Save three day then do it bothers him, and he just wants to make love with his wife when they feel like it. Instead he says, ever since my wife decided it is baby time, we have been in sex heaven. She wants it all the time, and I can't get enough. You guys need to get the hell out of grad school, and get to work baby making like us. Women talk truth, guys talk a lot.

They (meaning your specific friends, not all women) talk more openly because they TRUST YOU not to go run and tell your BROTHER and god knows who else what they told you in confidence. Clearly that was a mistake.

Seriously. When my friends tell me things in confidence (like my husband can't get an erection) I don't turn around and tell the husband's friend "Bill isn't fucking his wife that much, he can't get it up!", it does no good. It accomplish nothing. Except embarrassing Bill. 

At most I might go to my FI and vaguely ask "So a friend of mine, her husband is having problems with ED but won't go to a doctor, do you have any ideas how she can convince him?" and even then I'd probably check with my friend first if she was ok with me floating that by FI. 

photokitty

How could we ever forget you?? xoxo

Replying without quoting for emphasis

WhatawagSBNy

Not politically correct but I can only speak from my life experiences.

theartistformerlyknownas

WhatawagSBNy said:

Not politically correct but I can only speak from my life experiences.

That's all anyone can do. But we do it accurately with phrases like "in my experience" or "in my circle," not blanket generalizations about how men or women behave.

huskypuppy14

WhatawagSBNy said:

Of all the things to bother you, my having a brother I talk with bugs you?

Yes, I'm bothered that you talk to your brother. It has nothing to do with the topics of your conversation. 

I only have sisters, but I wouldn't "compare notes" with them either.

levioosa

WTF is happening in this thread? 

mrsdee15

levioosa said:

WTF is happening in this thread? 

I don't know, but I do know that I had no idea 1) what guy culture is, or 2) that it is even a thing.  

ashley8918

levioosa said:

WTF is happening in this thread? 

MadHops21

I probably don't count because me and FI don't live together. I live with my parents, he lives with his, and I'm really self conscious of my body now to show it. 

WhatawagSBNy

lolo883 said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

"If anything, the woman in my friends group talk much more openly about things then the men" - huskypuppy14

That is pretty much what I am saying. The women talk more openly, good and bad, and are not afraid to ask for or offer help. The guys talk about sex as much or more than we do, but there is much more posturing, impress the other guys. He will leave an impression that sex is always great and non-stop.

Even if he is frustrated that wife and his work schedules are leaving no time for love, or trying to conceive on a schedule bugs him, he won't say being asked to save it for three days then do it then Save three day then do it bothers him,

and he just wants to make love with his wife when they feel like it.
Instead he says, ever since my wife decided it is baby time, we have been in sex heaven. She wants it all the time, and I can't get enough. You guys need to get the hell out of grad school, and get to work baby making like us.

Women talk truth, guys talk a lot.

They (meaning your specific friends, not all women) talk more openly because they TRUST YOU not to go run and tell your BROTHER and god knows who else what they told you in confidence. Clearly that was a mistake.

*****
As I said in one of the previous posts, I do not repeat things said in confidence.

And I gave this example with a particular time it happened in mind, but it is pretty representative too. A group of people in a social not private situation, a group on the other side of an open archway in out home, and people walking by in and out to get to the fridge, pass around snacks and drinks, just arriving and walking through. .
And people in one room saying things to their group different than their counterpart in the next room.

Private things said in confidence remain private even from my brother or sisters or Mom or my husband. But things put out before the group, no. I won't list the details, but I will say things like I cited. Don't believe what you hear, their marriage is in trouble, etc.

If no one here has ever talked this way or ever shared any similar things with their FI or DH or family, well then we have different values. I agree to disagree.

From the number of posts I have read over the years where people say, I share everything with FI or boyfriend or DH, or Mom, I know a lot of people share the same standard I do.

hellosweetie1015

WhatawagSBNy said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

"If anything, the woman in my friends group talk much more openly about things then the men" - huskypuppy14 That is pretty much what I am saying. The women talk more openly, good and bad, and are not afraid to ask for or offer help. The guys talk about sex as much or more than we do, but there is much more posturing, impress the other guys. He will leave an impression that sex is always great and non-stop. Even if he is frustrated that wife and his work schedules are leaving no time for love, or trying to conceive on a schedule bugs him, he won't say being asked to save it for three days then do it then Save three day then do it bothers him, and he just wants to make love with his wife when they feel like it. Instead he says, ever since my wife decided it is baby time, we have been in sex heaven. She wants it all the time, and I can't get enough. You guys need to get the hell out of grad school, and get to work baby making like us. Women talk truth, guys talk a lot.

They (meaning your specific friends, not all women) talk more openly because they TRUST YOU not to go run and tell your BROTHER and god knows who else what they told you in confidence. Clearly that was a mistake.

***** As I said in one of the previous posts, I do not repeat things said in confidence. And I gave this example with a particular time it happened in mind, but it is pretty representative too. A group of people in a social not private situation, a group on the other side of an open archway in out home, and people walking by in and out to get to the fridge, pass around snacks and drinks, just arriving and walking through. . And people in one room saying things to their group different than their counterpart in the next room. Private things said in confidence remain private even from my brother or sisters or Mom or my husband. But things put out before the group, no. I won't list the details, but I will say things like I cited. Don't believe what you hear, their marriage is in trouble, etc. If no one here has ever talked this way or ever shared any similar things with their FI or DH or family, well then we have different values. I agree to disagree. From the number of posts I have read over the years where people say, I share everything with FI or boyfriend or DH, or Mom, I know a lot of people share the same standard I do.

Nope. Don't talk about other people's marriages to FI or my mom or anyone. Not my business, not their business. 

Just because something is "put out to the group" doesn't mean they don't expect those things to be held in confidence by the members of that group. Just saying.

WhatawagSBNy

pinkrevenge said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

Of all the things to bother you, my having a brother I talk with bugs you?

At least half the time I have no idea what you're saying. It's like you're sending your paragraphs through Google Translate and then having a meth addict on a bender type it out for you.


*************
No, I go to the greyhound station, pull a drunk off a bench, and have him read it into my phone which then makes the post. Wag

princessofgenovia

WhatawagSBNy said:

Private things said in confidence remain private even from my brother or sisters or Mom or my husband. But things put out before the group, no. I won't list the details, but I will say things like I cited. Don't believe what you hear, their marriage is in trouble, etc.

And what exactly does this accomplish? This is just sharing information you have for the sake of sharing it. Or, gossiping as we call it for short.

theartistformerlyknownas

WhatawagSBNy said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

"If anything, the woman in my friends group talk much more openly about things then the men" - huskypuppy14 That is pretty much what I am saying. The women talk more openly, good and bad, and are not afraid to ask for or offer help. The guys talk about sex as much or more than we do, but there is much more posturing, impress the other guys. He will leave an impression that sex is always great and non-stop. Even if he is frustrated that wife and his work schedules are leaving no time for love, or trying to conceive on a schedule bugs him, he won't say being asked to save it for three days then do it then Save three day then do it bothers him, and he just wants to make love with his wife when they feel like it. Instead he says, ever since my wife decided it is baby time, we have been in sex heaven. She wants it all the time, and I can't get enough. You guys need to get the hell out of grad school, and get to work baby making like us. Women talk truth, guys talk a lot.

They (meaning your specific friends, not all women) talk more openly because they TRUST YOU not to go run and tell your BROTHER and god knows who else what they told you in confidence. Clearly that was a mistake.

***** As I said in one of the previous posts, I do not repeat things said in confidence. And I gave this example with a particular time it happened in mind, but it is pretty representative too. A group of people in a social not private situation, a group on the other side of an open archway in out home, and people walking by in and out to get to the fridge, pass around snacks and drinks, just arriving and walking through. . And people in one room saying things to their group different than their counterpart in the next room. Private things said in confidence remain private even from my brother or sisters or Mom or my husband. But things put out before the group, no. I won't list the details, but I will say things like I cited. Don't believe what you hear, their marriage is in trouble, etc. If no one here has ever talked this way or ever shared any similar things with their FI or DH or family, well then we have different values. I agree to disagree. From the number of posts I have read over the years where people say, I share everything with FI or boyfriend or DH, or Mom, I know a lot of people share the same standard I do.

Do you take some sort of an oath before friends say something in confidence? Or is there a secret handshake before, so you know for sure? No, being a room apart does not make it a public space and does not mean someone wants their personal shit shared with your brother or any other friend who was not in that circle at the time they said it. It's not your shit to spread. Your brother shouldn't be sharing what his friends said to him, and you shouldn't be sharing what your friends said to you. It's weird as fuck and makes you a terrible gossip.

WhatawagSBNy

huskypuppy14 said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

Of all the things to bother you, my having a brother I talk with bugs you?

Yes, I'm bothered that you talk to your brother. It has nothing to do with the topics of your conversation. 

I only have sisters, but I wouldn't "compare notes" with them either.

********
Well, all I can say is that I am sorry for you, not being close enough to even one of your brothers and sisters to talk to them about anything and everything . And know that it will go no further.
I have a few people, including my husband and brother that I can be open with, and absolutely trust.

Lucky me. Poor you. WAG

theartistformerlyknownas

WhatawagSBNy said:

Well, all I can say is that I am sorry for you, not being close enough to even one of your brothers and sisters to talk to them about anything and everything . And know that it will go no further. I have a few people, including my husband and brother that I can be open with, and absolutely trust. Lucky me. Poor you. WAG

Well that was totally uncalled for. You're not winning any friends here.

hellohkb

I am really fucking lost right now.

flantastic

WhatawagSBNy said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

Of all the things to bother you, my having a brother I talk with bugs you?

Yes, I'm bothered that you talk to your brother. It has nothing to do with the topics of your conversation. 

I only have sisters, but I wouldn't "compare notes" with them either.

******** Well, all I can say is that I am sorry for you, not being close enough to even one of your brothers and sisters to talk to them about anything and everything . And know that it will go no further. I have a few people, including my husband and brother that I can be open with, and absolutely trust. Lucky me. Poor you. WAG

Share your own stuff, sure. Insecure about something? X been really bothering you? Go for it. I'm glad you feel you can be open about that. However. you do not have license to tell other people's shit just because you feel like you can tell a certain person "everything."

princessofgenovia

WhatawagSBNy said:

Well, all I can say is that I am sorry for you, not being close enough to even one of your brothers and sisters to talk to them about anything and everything . And know that it will go no further. I have a few people, including my husband and brother that I can be open with, and absolutely trust. Lucky me. Poor you. WAG

Well that was kind of a bitchy thing to say.

Be open about your own shit. Not about other people's shit.

esstee33

WhatawagSBNy said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

Of all the things to bother you, my having a brother I talk with bugs you?

Yes, I'm bothered that you talk to your brother. It has nothing to do with the topics of your conversation. 

I only have sisters, but I wouldn't "compare notes" with them either.

******** Well, all I can say is that I am sorry for you, not being close enough to even one of your brothers and sisters to talk to them about anything and everything . And know that it will go no further. I have a few people, including my husband and brother that I can be open with, and absolutely trust. Lucky me. Poor you. WAG

I'm pretty sure basically everyone disagreeing with you is not saying that they're not close enough to their siblings to talk about things like this, but rather that they have the decency to not engage in shitty gossip with people when their friends have told them confidential information. Because they're good people who can be trusted with confidences. 

climbingsingle

princessofgenovia said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

Well, all I can say is that I am sorry for you, not being close enough to even one of your brothers and sisters to talk to them about anything and everything . And know that it will go no further.
I have a few people, including my husband and brother that I can be open with, and absolutely trust.

Lucky me. Poor you. WAG

Well that was kind of a bitchy thing to say.

Be open about your own shit. Not about other people's shit.

-----/-//--////------------------

This is ridiculous. I am very close with my brother. We're only 18 months apart and we do share friends. My brother is in fact one of my best friends and we discuss a lot. We were roommates for years too when we were in our early and mid 20s. What we don't do is pass along gossip and trash talk people that shared something personal. Wag-that is what you are doing. Passing along info that someone's marriage is in trouble when one party is clearly not ok sharing that info is tacky and immature and crass.

theartistformerlyknownas

In English, we call that tongue-wagging. How fitting.

KatieinBkln

I liked it better when this thread was about lube.

[Deleted User]

huskypuppy14

WhatawagSBNy said:

WhatawagSBNy said:

Of all the things to bother you, my having a brother I talk with bugs you?

Yes, I'm bothered that you talk to your brother. It has nothing to do with the topics of your conversation. 

I only have sisters, but I wouldn't "compare notes" with them either.

******** Well, all I can say is that I am sorry for you, not being close enough to even one of your brothers and sisters to talk to them about anything and everything . And know that it will go no further. I have a few people, including my husband and brother that I can be open with, and absolutely trust. Lucky me. Poor you. WAG

And if it wasn't clear. The red was sarcasm.

VulgarGirl

pinkrevenge said:

KatieinBkln said:

I liked it better when this thread was about lube.

Pink. the shit is wonderful.


Yyyeeessss!!!!!!!!!

VulgarGirl

I've never had a conversation with my brothers regarding the frequency in which their friends engage in sexual relations in comparison to how frequently their opposite sex partners (apparently wag and her brother don't know any homos) claim to engage in sexual relations.

The closest we ever came was when of them asked me if it was OK they felt about guys the way most guys feel about girls. Also I lectured them on using condoms. Big sister that's my job (and I'd had several friends test positive I was worried).

jdluvr06

Wtf happened to this thread?

Inkdancer

Hey guys guess what the couch thing worked. 

also can we please talk about anything else? lube is way more fun than sexism. 

photokitty

Inkdancer said:

Hey guys guess what the couch thing worked. 

also can we please talk about anything else? lube is way more fun than sexism. 

I missed "the couch thing" in the all the WTF of the thread. 

 What page do I go to the read of the couch magic?