Honeymoon

Honeymoon Registries - Prepay for Flight?

Hi ladies!

My fiance and I are hoping to go to Thailand for our honeymoon in October, however, we're using a honeymoon registry to pay for everything and have exactly $0.00 to put toward our honeymoon until gifts start rolling in. I've never utilized a honeymoon registry or anything like it, so for those of you out there who opted for the honeymoon registry over regular registries, how did you go about booking your flight/hotel, etc? Do you have to just book in advance and use the money people give you to "reimburse" yourselves? Does the money they give you go toward a pre-determined flight, which doesn't get "booked" until it's paid for? I can't find answers anywhere, so I'm taking it straight to the source - brides!
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Re: Honeymoon Registries - Prepay for Flight?

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
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    HM registries are asking for cash.

    The company takes a cut of the money your guests give you.

    HM registry companies give you the money AFTER the event.

    Most people do not give gifts to the couple until after the invites go out.  With most being given the day/week of your wedding.

    If you plan on a HM directly after you wedding then you will have to pay for everything upfront and hope people give you enough.


    For the record, I will never give to a HM fund.  If I want to give you cash I will do it on my own and not give it to a 3rd party to hold, then give you the money later after they take a cut.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    esstee33[Deleted User]
  • It's always rude to ask for money. And HM registries don't give you 100% of the money guests give anyway. They take a substantial cut. So it's not in your interest to do one AND it's rude to your guests.

    Most people give money as wedding gifts anyway. And you get 100% of it.
    *********************************************************************************

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    [Deleted User]tigerlily6InLoveInQueens
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!)
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    edited April 2015
    jls5121 said:

    Hi ladies!

    My fiance and I are hoping to go to Thailand for our honeymoon in October, however, we're using a honeymoon registry to pay for everything and have exactly $0.00 to put toward our honeymoon until gifts start rolling in. I've never utilized a honeymoon registry or anything like it, so for those of you out there who opted for the honeymoon registry over regular registries, how did you go about booking your flight/hotel, etc? Do you have to just book in advance and use the money people give you to "reimburse" yourselves? Does the money they give you go toward a pre-determined flight, which doesn't get "booked" until it's paid for? I can't find answers anywhere, so I'm taking it straight to the source - brides!

    I hope you have a backup plan!  

    Honeymoon registries are rude.  Not to mention, why in the world would you want to give up a percentage of your gift to fees?  Skip the HM registry and plan for the honeymoon you can afford.  Save the big trip for an anniversary in another year.
    InLoveInQueens
  • jls5121 said:

    Hi ladies!

    My fiance and I are hoping to go to Thailand for our honeymoon in October, however, we're using a honeymoon registry to pay for everything and have exactly $0.00 to put toward our honeymoon until gifts start rolling in. I've never utilized a honeymoon registry or anything like it, so for those of you out there who opted for the honeymoon registry over regular registries, how did you go about booking your flight/hotel, etc? Do you have to just book in advance and use the money people give you to "reimburse" yourselves? Does the money they give you go toward a pre-determined flight, which doesn't get "booked" until it's paid for? I can't find answers anywhere, so I'm taking it straight to the source - brides!




    Ditto everything that's already been said, plus, like I think someone else mentioned, even if it wasn't rude and they didn't take a cut from your money, you still wouldn't get a cent of it until AFTER our wedding. Even if they contribute to it before your wedding. At least if you don't register, you'll more than likely get cash before or the day of your wedding, and you won't lose 2-5% of it to some company.

    I would definitely either plan a honeymoon you can afford, or put it off until you can afford it.

    CMGragain[Deleted User]
  • Honeymoon registries are rude and tacky.
    DH and I had two nights in a Kansas City hotel.  We couldn't afford a fancy honeymoon.  Our first fancy trip (Alaska cruise) was for our 25th Anniversary.  It was worth the wait.  I suggest you wait until you can afford your dream trip to Thailand by yourself.  (I was in Thailand in January.  Not as impressed as I had expected.  There is a lot of poverty there.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Our friends did a honeymoon registry for their wedding last May.  The way they had it set up was each portion of the honeymoon was broken down into different amounts.  So, for example, for their airfare they needed 40 contributions of $100 each.  I think what we got them was one out of three needed donations for a tour on a glass bottom boat in the Mediterranean. 

    I actually just went back and looked up their wedding website and they used honeyfund.com.  They actually got every single item except a stay at a hotel which, minus the contributions they got, cost them $450 out of pocket.

    I'd just be careful if you literally can't contribute at all because if you don't get all the contributions you need for the whole trip I'm not exactly sure what happens.  You'd have to explore honeyfund.com to find that out I suppose.
  • tojaitojai
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
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    If you have your heart set on Thailand but you can't afford it, you can also wait to take that vacation and like PPs said do a mini-moon after the wedding.

    We had no budget for a honeymoon either, all of our extra cash went towards buying plane tickets to the US and back when we got married.  Our mini-moon was a trip to a baseball game and a night in a hotel - but we were able to save up enough money to go to Hawaii for our one-year anniversary. 

    Even if you do the HM registry (which I agree is rude), many people wait until the last minute to buy gifts so I think it'd be a stretch to schedule the HM ahead of time using those funds.  Assuming you were able to finance the entire trip through the HM registry in the first place (which I also think may be a bit of a stretch).


  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    Why oh why do people think it is okay to ask their friends and family fund their HM aka vacation?  Do you generally ask people to fund your vacations?  If not then what makes a HM so damn different?  It is a vacation, pay for it yourself.

    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • delujm0delujm0
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
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    I agree with what everyone else has said about how rude this is...you also need to consider that there are ALWAYS stories on here about how girls set up honeymoon registries, and then no one contributed to them, so they wound up not being able to take the honeymoon they planned on.  In cases where the girls had "prepaid" for stuff, they had to then cancel those plans and lose money.

     

    I would suggest that if you want to go to Thailand, you start saving.  Fortunately you can get inexpensive accomodations and meals over there because of the favorable exchange rate, but the flights will be pricey.  If you're depending on other people to contribute to your airfare, and then they don't, you'll wind up last minute without a honeymoon planned.

     

    The answer here is always ALWAYS to plan the vacation that YOU will be able to 100% afford on your own, and take that vacation.  Drop the honeymoon registry.  If people want to give you cash wedding gifts, they will, and you are more than welcome to use that cash for your honeymoon costs.

    onefootinthebayou[Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • tcnobletcnoble
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
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    Why oh why do people think it is okay to ask their friends and family fund their HM aka vacation?  Do you generally ask people to fund your vacations?  If not then what makes a HM so damn different?  It is a vacation, pay for it yourself.

    This. A honeymoon is a vacation. I would never start a gofundme for a trip we want to take, so why would a honeymoon be different?

    Oh, because snowflakes believe everyone DESERVES a honeymoon!! And if you can't pay for it then everyone is just so HAPPY to help you out!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • jls5121jls5121
    Third Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
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    Thanks to everyone who gave advice! I totally agree that the trip to Thailand could probably wait until we can afford it - except that we already have two kids and don't expect to be able to take the time away from them any time in the near future, and we're hoping to take full advantage of all the offers from friends/family to babysit for us while we take our HM. Neither one of us has EVER been on a vacation in our entire lives, and we feel pretty confident that this will be the only opportunity we get for quite some time. Sort of a "go big or go home" mentality I suppose.

    Not sure about why it's rude to register for a honeymoon, being that we've been together for ten years and have no need for physical gifts like blenders and pans. It's not like we're sending out a memo saying "If you attend our wedding, you're required to give us a gift on honeyfund.com." If people want to go that route they will, and if they don't, they won't! Simple as that. My bet is that the people who care about us and want us to enjoy ourselves (read: the people we invite to our wedding) will be happy to give the gift that we WANT instead of just massive quantities of things we don't actually want or need. But every family is different, and maybe it IS rude amongst your family & friends. I won't pretend to know.

    Anyway, much appreciated for all the input! I guess we'll have to explore a couple alternatives and see what happens! :D
    BrinkyDink16BigwandsKnottie1433791078.defunct635887248411526866
  • jls5121jls5121
    Third Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
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    Why oh why do people think it is okay to ask their friends and family fund their HM aka vacation?  Do you generally ask people to fund your vacations?  If not then what makes a HM so damn different?  It is a vacation, pay for it yourself.

    Just to this point... I don't "register" for birthday presents either! A wedding is different in every capacity. The fact that there even IS a registry makes this argument illogical. 
    MusicLady7BigwandsKnottie28989598Knottie1433791078.defunct635887248411526866
  • PPs have the rude-and-tacky aspect covered, but I am genuinely curious... If you have $0 to contribute, what happens when (and I do mean when) you don't get sufficient funds gifted to you to be able to take this trip? You're looking at eating the cost of the airfare if you book airfare ahead of time, or putting everything on a credit card and starting your marriage out with a chunk of unnecessary debt. Plus, do you really want the added stress of hoping that your guests will cover the cost of your vacation while you are planning your wedding? Because I would be really, really stressed out if I spent the last few months before my wedding biting my nails and hoping enough people give us money to take the trip we already bought plane tickets for.

    Take a trip you can afford for your honeymoon - even if that means one night at the Motel 6 down the road from your house. Save up for your trip to Thailand, and go on one or five or ten years.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots
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    tcnoble said:

    Why oh why do people think it is okay to ask their friends and family fund their HM aka vacation?  Do you generally ask people to fund your vacations?  If not then what makes a HM so damn different?  It is a vacation, pay for it yourself.

    This. A honeymoon is a vacation. I would never start a gofundme for a trip we want to take, so why would a honeymoon be different?

    Oh, because snowflakes believe everyone DESERVES a honeymoon!! And if you can't pay for it then everyone is just so HAPPY to help you out!!
    Because you have a brain. I swear to God someone just posted on my FB feed their gofundme for a "guys get away from the wives" trip to Dallas (across the country) to attend an NFL game. It says on the site because the wives always do things like shop and have girl's nights together, so we DESERVE to have a guys weekend away. I just can't even with this shit. So pay for your own fucking trip!!!!

                                                                     

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    InLoveInQueens
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited May 2015
    @jls5121, where are you located?  We would be happy to suggest affordable alternatives for you.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    Our friends did a honeymoon registry for their wedding last May.  The way they had it set up was each portion of the honeymoon was broken down into different amounts.  So, for example, for their airfare they needed 40 contributions of $100 each.  I think what we got them was one out of three needed donations for a tour on a glass bottom boat in the Mediterranean. 

    I actually just went back and looked up their wedding website and they used honeyfund.com.  They actually got every single item except a stay at a hotel which, minus the contributions they got, cost them $450 out of pocket.

    I'd just be careful if you literally can't contribute at all because if you don't get all the contributions you need for the whole trip I'm not exactly sure what happens.  You'd have to explore honeyfund.com to find that out I suppose.



    You did NOT get them a partial tour on a glass bottom boat. You gave them a gift of cash, LESS a service fee taken out from the honeymoon registry company. They actually got not one single item. They received a check from the honeymoon registry company, MINUS a service fee taken from each and every contributor. So it actually cost this couple more than $450 "out of pocket", since they also needed to come up with the additional money taken out of every pocket of every contributor.
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • MobKaz said:




    You did NOT get them a partial tour on a glass bottom boat. You gave them a gift of cash, LESS a service fee taken out from the honeymoon registry company. They actually got not one single item. They received a check from the honeymoon registry company, MINUS a service fee taken from each and every contributor. So it actually cost this couple more than $450 "out of pocket", since they also needed to come up with the additional money taken out of every pocket of every contributor.
    Okay, if you want to look at it that way then that's fine.  We gave them money that they used towards a fantastic honeymoon.  Either way, we helped make that happen and were very happy about it.
    BigwandsKnottie1433791078.defunct635887248411526866[Deleted User]
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
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    MobKaz said:




    You did NOT get them a partial tour on a glass bottom boat. You gave them a gift of cash, LESS a service fee taken out from the honeymoon registry company. They actually got not one single item. They received a check from the honeymoon registry company, MINUS a service fee taken from each and every contributor. So it actually cost this couple more than $450 "out of pocket", since they also needed to come up with the additional money taken out of every pocket of every contributor.
    Okay, if you want to look at it that way then that's fine.  We gave them money that they used towards a fantastic honeymoon.  Either way, we helped make that happen and were very happy about it.
    but you could have just given them cash for the full amount and still given them something towards their HM.  Instead you gave a 3rd party company 7% and your friends $93 instead of the full $100.  And you gave an online company your credit card which could be hacked.


    Giving cash is not unusual.  My family has been giving cash for weddings for years.  (my siblings got married over 20 years ago and got cash).   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    edited May 2015

    MobKaz said:




    You did NOT get them a partial tour on a glass bottom boat. You gave them a gift of cash, LESS a service fee taken out from the honeymoon registry company. They actually got not one single item. They received a check from the honeymoon registry company, MINUS a service fee taken from each and every contributor. So it actually cost this couple more than $450 "out of pocket", since they also needed to come up with the additional money taken out of every pocket of every contributor.
    Okay, if you want to look at it that way then that's fine.  We gave them money that they used towards a fantastic honeymoon.  Either way, we helped make that happen and were very happy about it.


    It has nothing to do with the way I look at this; it is the reality of honeymoon funds. You also have no assurance that this couple actually took the boat tour, or even went on the actual honeymoon.

    My son gifted his sister two REAL honeymoon experiences. She did not have any honeymoon fund. He called restaurants and experience sites in the town they were staying and made arrangements. His sister and her husband received the full experience and he received the FULL value of his gift.
    OliveOilsMomInLoveInQueens
  • delujm0delujm0
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
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    Serious question OP - say some people contribute to your honeymoon fund - like your grandmother buys you the "zipline tour" and your uncle buys you the "dinner on the beach."  But no one else contributes.  Now you can't take the vacation because you can't afford it on your own.  What happens to the "gifts" you HAVE received?  Suddenly, grandma thinks she bought you an experience, but really you just got a pile of cash that you may or may not use for that experience.  To me, that's the worst part about the honeymoon registry - that it's misleading, and that nothing is actually forcing you to use the funds for the experiences that these people have purchased for you.  I mean if you want to lose 7% of what would have otherwise been cash gifts, i think that's really stupid, but it's your call.  It's the falsehood that people are buying you actual experiences that i think is the most rude.

     

    I can get behind an actual honeymoon registry - like the kind that is set up with your resort or travel agent, where NO FEES COME OUT and people can pay directly for ACTUAL EVENTS for your trip - things that you will be scheduled to do by your resort or travel agent.  Otherwise, if you don't need anything for your house, forego a shower, register for nothing, and people will get the hint and write you checks.  You can then use those checks to pay for your vacation.

     

    I would never operate under the assumption that you'd get enough cash to pay for this trip from your honeymoon registry - i'd be so worried about putting myself into credit card debt and not having the cash at the end of the day to get myself out of it.  that's a terrible way to start a marriage, especially when it's just for an optional vacation and not an actual emergency of some sort.

    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • MobKaz said:

    MobKaz said:




    It has nothing to do with the way I look at this; it is the reality of honeymoon funds. You also have no assurance that this couple actually took the boat tour, or even went on the actual honeymoon.

    My son gifted his sister two REAL honeymoon experiences. She did not have any honeymoon fund. He called restaurants and experience sites in the town they were staying and made arrangements. His sister and her husband received the full experience and he received the FULL value of his gift.

    Actually, we do because they sent us pictures of them on the boat tour with an additional thank you for contributing towards it.  I do see what you're saying about how it might make more sense to just give cash but our friends used the site the way it was intended so I don't feel like we were mislead or they were slighted at all.
    MusicLady7Knottie1433791078.defunct635887248411526866[Deleted User]
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