Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Destination Weddings Discussions
Destination Weddings Discussions
New Discussion
Options

No dancing at reception

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
First Comment
in Destination Weddings Discussions
So my fiance and I have been considering having a wedding with limited dancing. We were thinking about having our first dance and possibly a few more songs that have their own dances (electric slide etc) but thats it. We do not come from families that love to dance and we would much rather find some alternatives to help keep guests entertained without feeling pressured to dance. 
Report Reply to Post
«13

Re: No dancing at reception

  • Options
    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Your first dance is supposed to open the dancing for your guests. It's rude to let everyone watch you and then cut short the fun for them. If you don't think people want to dance, either don't have dancing at all, or have dancing and also provide space where it's quiet enough to talk. But no limited dancing and other entertainment.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    We didn't have a dance (which surprised me, cos I love dancing) as we lost amplified music at 9pm.  We had a Polynesian show after the dinner for entertainment and then a bunch of us went to the hotel restaurant for karaoke at 9:30 for an after party.  

    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you don't want there to be general dancing, then skip the "first dance" for you and your FI. "First dances" lead the guests into believing that everyone will get to dance, whether or not you think they'll want to dance. Leading them on by making them watch you dance but not allowing them to dance is unfair and impolite.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Agree with PPs. If you're not going to allow people to dance, you shouldn't be doing a first dance. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We are having a non-dancing-focused reception as well. We will do a first dance and father/daughter dance right after we are announced - that is customary where I'm from, as opposed to doing them later in the evening in other areas. Our reception will be a bonfire with a band/jam session and a couple games. 

    But, we will leave the option up to the guests if they want to dance - there will be space for dancing and a reasonably danceable iPod playlist. Who knows, if the right song comes on I myself might want to dance! I'm not opposed to dancing, I just prefer slow-dancing to party/club dancing, and FH hates the pop music that is usually played at dancing-type receptions, so we didn't want to have a reception that we ourselves would hate lol. I think for the playlist we'll do country, jazz, some standards, and some older pop stuff that FH won't mind. Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, that kind of thing.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    I will be the voice of dissent about the "first dance".  I don't mind it (I mean, I don't look forward to it and I only watch for about 15 seconds before I return to my conversation), but that's mostly because the last few friends I had who got married did their first dance together after cocktail hour, but before dinner.  All three actually had dancing later, but I personally wouldn't miss the dancing or think it was altogether weird for the couple to have a first dance together without the traditional dancing afterward when it's timed this way.  I think the key is to time it well before traditional dancing would start and phrase it as "first dance together" instead of "first dance" that kicks off the rest of the dancing. 

    That said, I would have zero interest in seeing other spotlight dances (mother/son, father/daughter, wedding party, etc.) and I would think it terribly weird and awkward if you had only a few other well-known dances and then just ended it.  Either commit to dancing or just nix it altogether.  Half-assing it is guaranteed to get you lukewarm, awkward results.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    Thanks for all of your responses. I do not think that having a first dance between my husband and I will be such a terrible idea at a dance free wedding. It was an idea we were considering. Nothing is set in stone as of yet but we are definitely trying to make our wedding what we want it to be as opposed to simply trying to uphold traditions just because. I do appreciate the feedback 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    princessleia22princessleia22 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    We had dancing, but it wasn't the focus of our reception.  We had only 25 guests.  We usually had a couple people on the dance floor, but we had a comfortable seating area at the venue and most people just hung out and talked.  It was very laid back and enjoyable. I liked that the dancing was available for those who wanted to, but it wasn't the focus of the reception.

    image 

    Report Reply
  • Options
    XrebeccaXXrebeccaX member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We didn't have any dancing, just chats and drinks (and bacon sandwiches at midnight!). We had a very small DW and the idea of dancing awkwardly with my husband as everyone gawped at us could not possibly have been less appealing.

    I will echo what a PP said about having the couple's first dance after cocktail hour but before dinner being something to consider. My SIL did this and it was quite nice.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    Knottie06017562 said:

    Thanks for all of your responses. I do not think that having a first dance between my husband and I will be such a terrible idea at a dance free wedding. It was an idea we were considering. Nothing is set in stone as of yet but we are definitely trying to make our wedding what we want it to be as opposed to simply trying to uphold traditions just because. I do appreciate the feedback 

    That's just it. "Dance free" means that it IS a terrible idea for you and your FI to dance while no one else gets to and making them watch you.

    If you want to dance with your FI without others dancing, then have that first dance in private, not at the reception. The reception is to thank your guests for attending your wedding, and no one wants to be "thanked" by watching you dance while not getting to dance themselves. Your guests will side-eye you for using them to stroke your ego.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    hellohkbhellohkb mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    My guests aren't really into dancing so we're putting a table with some games so that anyone who does want to dance can dance, or they can play a game, or they can sit and talk.

    Additionally, my cousin has autism and my mother also has some sensory issues with noise and can't really be around loud music for a long time. We decided to convert the bridal suite that's next to the reception space into a "quiet room" for anyone who needs a break from the noise.


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers



    Report Reply
  • Options
    spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    jacques27 said:
    I will be the voice of dissent about the "first dance".  I don't mind it (I mean, I don't look forward to it and I only watch for about 15 seconds before I return to my conversation), but that's mostly because the last few friends I had who got married did their first dance together after cocktail hour, but before dinner.  All three actually had dancing later, but I personally wouldn't miss the dancing or think it was altogether weird for the couple to have a first dance together without the traditional dancing afterward when it's timed this way.  I think the key is to time it well before traditional dancing would start and phrase it as "first dance together" instead of "first dance" that kicks off the rest of the dancing. 

    That said, I would have zero interest in seeing other spotlight dances (mother/son, father/daughter, wedding party, etc.) and I would think it terribly weird and awkward if you had only a few other well-known dances and then just ended it.  Either commit to dancing or just nix it altogether.  Half-assing it is guaranteed to get you lukewarm, awkward results.
    That's how I always interpreted it, precisely because in my area (rural Virginia) the first dance is done immediately after the b&g are announced into the reception - so after cocktail hour, before dinner as you said. I've never been to a wedding where it wasn't done that way. "First dance" to me means "Bride and groom's first dance as H&W," not "First dance of the evening."

    Here, the general timeline is announcement/introduction > B&G first dance > F/D dance (if applicable) > M/S dance (if applicable) > dinner > dancing > cake/toasts > more dancing.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Regardless of when the first dance occurs, I agree that it's not quite right to have a spotlight dance without opening dancing to everyone.

    My H and I didn't have dancing at our wedding. It would have been really nice to have a first dance but it just didn't make sense. So we didn't. There's no good way to have a spotlight dance when no one else will be dancing.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Report Reply
  • Options
    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Lots of weddings don't have dancing at all.  It is forbidden in many churches, especially in the south.  I didn't have dancing at my wedding.  (If you could see DH dance, you'd understand why!)  I saved a lot of money and stress.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    CMGragain said:

    Lots of weddings don't have dancing at all.  It is forbidden in many churches, especially in the south.  I didn't have dancing at my wedding.  (If you could see DH dance, you'd understand why!)  I saved a lot of money and stress.

    You seem to put down your husband and make him the butt of your "jokes" pretty often. How sad.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    spockforprez said:
    jacques27 said:
    I will be the voice of dissent about the "first dance".  I don't mind it (I mean, I don't look forward to it and I only watch for about 15 seconds before I return to my conversation), but that's mostly because the last few friends I had who got married did their first dance together after cocktail hour, but before dinner.  All three actually had dancing later, but I personally wouldn't miss the dancing or think it was altogether weird for the couple to have a first dance together without the traditional dancing afterward when it's timed this way.  I think the key is to time it well before traditional dancing would start and phrase it as "first dance together" instead of "first dance" that kicks off the rest of the dancing. 

    That said, I would have zero interest in seeing other spotlight dances (mother/son, father/daughter, wedding party, etc.) and I would think it terribly weird and awkward if you had only a few other well-known dances and then just ended it.  Either commit to dancing or just nix it altogether.  Half-assing it is guaranteed to get you lukewarm, awkward results.
    That's how I always interpreted it, precisely because in my area (rural Virginia) the first dance is done immediately after the b&g are announced into the reception - so after cocktail hour, before dinner as you said. I've never been to a wedding where it wasn't done that way. "First dance" to me means "Bride and groom's first dance as H&W," not "First dance of the evening."

    Here, the general timeline is announcement/introduction > B&G first dance > F/D dance (if applicable) > M/S dance (if applicable) > dinner > dancing > cake/toasts > more dancing.
    I always see the couple (some weddings are 2 brides or 2 grooms) dance after the cocktail hour too. But  where the M/S and/or F/D dance occurs varies. The timeline I usually see splits up the parent dances until later in the evening, so people aren't sitting around waiting to eat. We had our timeline like this:  

    announcement/introduction > B&G first dance (where everyone was invited to dance 1/2 way through song) > toasts> salad > cake cutting> dinner >cake> dancing> F/D dance  and M/S dance at same time>  dancing > 

    Some people don't like to cut into the dancing once it starts, but I like it because it gives people a break too.
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • Options
    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    climbingwife said:
    Lots of weddings don't have dancing at all.  It is forbidden in many churches, especially in the south.  I didn't have dancing at my wedding.  (If you could see DH dance, you'd understand why!)  I saved a lot of money and stress.
    You seem to put down your husband and make him the butt of your "jokes" pretty often. How sad.
    You should be so happily married for 39 years.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    CMGragain said:
    climbingwife said:
    Lots of weddings don't have dancing at all.  It is forbidden in many churches, especially in the south.  I didn't have dancing at my wedding.  (If you could see DH dance, you'd understand why!)  I saved a lot of money and stress.
    You seem to put down your husband and make him the butt of your "jokes" pretty often. How sad.
    You should be so happily married for 39 years.
    Hey, I'm just pointing out what I see. You continually put him down. You make him the butt of your jokes. Instead of being concerned about him falling on your trip, you seem more concerned about him making YOU fall. And I'm pretty sure you posted about him falling off the roof, again poking fun at how much of a dope you think he is. 

    My parents have been married for 45 years. I have a good example of what a happy marriage looks like. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MairePoppy said:
    Eh..My husband walks and dances like a duck. I've been telling him that for 35 years. We still dance and laugh at each other. 

     image
    My H totally has some interesting dance moves. Could it be embarrassing? Sure. But like you said, it doesn't stop us from dancing. We tore up the dance floor at our wedding, and some of the most hilarious pictures are of us dancing. I love it. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2015
    TheCheeseWench said:
    climbingwife said:
    CMGragain said:
    climbingwife said:
    Lots of weddings don't have dancing at all.  It is forbidden in many churches, especially in the south.  I didn't have dancing at my wedding.  (If you could see DH dance, you'd understand why!)  I saved a lot of money and stress.
    You seem to put down your husband and make him the butt of your "jokes" pretty often. How sad.
    You should be so happily married for 39 years.
    Hey, I'm just pointing out what I see. You continually put him down. You make him the butt of your jokes. Instead of being concerned about him falling on your trip, you seem more concerned about him making YOU fall. And I'm pretty sure you posted about him falling off the roof, again poking fun at how much of a dope you think he is. 

    My parents have been married for 45 years. I have a good example of what a happy marriage looks like. 
    In my own life I see your POV @climbingwife , but we are newlyweds. I think that in time couples grow into their own dynamic. My Grandparents were married for 65 years. G-Mo was (and still is) mouthy as Hell. She didn't make fun of him, but damn could she be HIGH MAINTENANCE. My Grandfather was a freaking saint putting up with some of her shenanigans, but it made him happy to do/be that. Every couple relates in their own way. In the 5 years since he has been gone, she has said at least 100 times that she "can't wait to go home to him, because he needs her (there) to tell him what to do". Watching them for all of those years, I'm pretty sure he would agree. That's the beauty of love, each one is different :)
    Listen, I'm 35 years old. While yes, I am a newlywed, I'm not young and naive. And like I said, my own parents have been married for 45 years. My grandparents were married until my grandfather died. I have countless aunts and uncles that have also been married for 35+ years. I've been around many successful and happy marriages. My point is this: CMG constantly makes her husband the butt of her jokes. She puts him down. I know you haven't been here very long, but after posting on TK for two years, I've seen a lot of her posts. And 99% of the time when she's talking about her husband, it's not positive. And I think that's sad.  
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    My parents parents complain and tease each other, too. They've been doing everything together for 60 years. It's only natural they'd get annoyed once in awhile.

    My grandparents were married till my grandfather died in his 70s. My sweet grandmother used to tease my grandfather about cheating at scrabble, being stubborn and she often said he was a bum when she met him. He would agree with her on all counts - he absolutely adored my grandmother, who according to him could get lost driving around the block, was a cheap skate and he ratted her out on dying her hair. He was her world. I wish all of you the kind of marriage they had. 

                       
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    climbingwife said:
    MairePoppy said:
    Eh..My husband walks and dances like a duck. I've been telling him that for 35 years. We still dance and laugh at each other. 

     image
    My H totally has some interesting dance moves. Could it be embarrassing? Sure. But like you said, it doesn't stop us from dancing. We tore up the dance floor at our wedding, and some of the most hilarious pictures are of us dancing. I love it. 

    _____________________________________________________________________

    I dance better after a few drinks.  My husband is the one who was embarassed by my technique. None of us can dance, but we still have a great time trying. And our partners have a great time making fun of us. In my album of my DD's wedding, I have two full pages dedicated to various family members amazing dance moves.  

    I imagine CMGr and her husband are more reserved than we are. That's ok, too. 
                       
    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    This is totally different than teasing and ribbing each other. Last I checked, CMG's husband was not a member of this board. She's making fun of him and putting him down on a forum that he doesn't read. IMO, making fun of your husband BEHIND HIS BACK is shitty. And yes, sad.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    climbingwife said:
    This is totally different than teasing and ribbing each other. Last I checked, CMG's husband was not a member of this board. She's making fun of him and putting him down on a forum that he doesn't read. IMO, making fun of your husband BEHIND HIS BACK is shitty. And yes, sad.
    Well you can think that all you want but that doesn't make your thinking right.  And how do you know for a fact that she is doing it behind his back?  She may very well tell him exactly what she writes on here.  He may be sitting right next to her and reading what she posts.  I don't know why you feel the need to call out CMGr all.the.time.  We get it, you are not a fan of hers, so why not just block her?  Then you wouldn't have to be so sad about the fact that she makes fun of her husband.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    climbingwife said:
    This is totally different than teasing and ribbing each other. Last I checked, CMG's husband was not a member of this board. She's making fun of him and putting him down on a forum that he doesn't read. IMO, making fun of your husband BEHIND HIS BACK is shitty. And yes, sad.
    Well you can think that all you want but that doesn't make your thinking right.  And how do you know for a fact that she is doing it behind his back?  She may very well tell him exactly what she writes on here.  He may be sitting right next to her and reading what she posts.  I don't know why you feel the need to call out CMGr all.the.time.  We get it, you are not a fan of hers, so why not just block her?  Then you wouldn't have to be so sad about the fact that she makes fun of her husband.
    So now you're telling me what I can and can't post? If she wants to make fun of her husband in 99% of her posts, I'm allowed to call it out and say it's lame. I swear, some of you just blindly defend CMG and it's baffles me. Any other poster, you'd be jumping on board saying how crappy it is to be putting your husband down. 
    Correct me if I'm wrong - when HGF was here, she made a post where she made fun of her husband, and she was practically crucified. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards