So, it's the 24th and I haven't been on here since the 16th. To a little bit of surprise, the same conversation I had commented on then was still going strong. I really don't want to start an entirely new thread about the same thing. Instead, I wanted to share that my FI and I are not getting married by a JOP prior to our real wedding.
I am a full-time student and I graduate in December, so until now I haven't had a job since grants paid part of my living expenses. My FI and I have lived together for 2.5 years and he had to take on the bulk of the bills. Somehow, we have managed to save up money (on enlisted pay) to put towards our wedding and my parents are happy to take care of the rest (which we are extremely thankful for). I don't have health insurance after I graduate, because my health insurance was TRICARE provided to my family following my dad's retirement after 22 years of service in the Navy, and I would get preferential points (for being a spouse) for the government jobs I am applying for if we were already married, but I don't feel comfortable with that.
I have been fortunate in my wedding planning to find discounted rates on a venue by booking it on a Friday night, and planning an off-season wedding. Of course, the vendors have asked what we both do for a living and when they find out my FI is military they usually thank him for his service. Some have also been kind enough to offer us discounts in appreciation. It has actually been quite touching to see the kindness of people who recognize the value of our servicemen and women. My biggest accomplishment in wedding planning was paying the deposit on my dress (which I got a discount on through a promotion at the bridal salon) using the spare change I had been saving since we moved in together. We have quit smoking and reduced our spending so that we can pay for the wedding we want. It is absolutely amazing how far you can make money go if you look for good deals and alternatives that allow you to still have your dream wedding but on a budget.
The point of this post, is that it is possible to have a wedding on a budget and you don't actually need to have the added BAH in order to pay for it all. All you need to do is be responsible about your spending and plan adequately for the expense of a wedding, which is kind of a life lesson for all couples to learn to prevent debt and possible bankruptcy from overspending and poor financial planning.
This isn't a lecture. You all willingly chose to click on this post and read it this far, so any comments should be appropriate to that fact. I wanted to share a positive story of a couple who planned thoughtfully and saved their money without being devious.