Military Brides

Planning while he is away

Is anyone else planning the wedding he, or possibly you, are deployed?  I feel stupid in feeling overwhelmed and not sure what comes next and that it's all not going to go smoothly because he isn't here to double check the details that are being selected.  Probably sound a little whiney, but after an evening of looking in to wedding details I'm feeling a little stressed.  And due to the time difference can't talk to him about it just yet. How do you keep your head straight in all this when mostly doing it alone?

Re: Planning while he is away

  • FI was deployed until this past October and it was difficult at first. Talk about what you each want early on before you choose details so you know what he wants. The time difference and planning are really hard but you can do it!
    June 2013 Sig - Shoes
    image Wedding Countdown Ticker Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • First, figure out what is important to him.  What does he want a hand in deciding?  Most guys only care about food, what they are wearing, music, liquor, food and food.  My husband told me to tell him what to wear, where to go and what time to be there.  He didn't care about anything else.  Once you find out what is important to him, find a check list of things to do and follow it.  I've found most check lists are full of things you don't need, so cross those out first and then get to everything else.  The Knot has several great check lists to check out.  
    If you still want his opinion on things like colors and centerpieces, pick out a few options and ask him what he likes.  


    image

    Military Newlyweds FAQ Button
  • Wedding planning is overwhelming!  I sometimes hate it lol!  just sayin.. but do you have anybody else involved? Like your MOH or your mother ? My mom is helping me. I'm planning my Oklahoma weddin from Alaska!  It's crazaaay!  I'm just glad I have other people to help me and help keep me sane and prevent me from being the amazing procrastinator that I am, because I would totally just wait til the last minute if I could! 
    And also I agree with TX !  I don't think a lot of guys care about the details.  The only thing FI is particular on is our parties have to be even. If I have 4 bridesmaids he has to have 4 groomsmen.  I'm not kidding, he said it will bug him if it's not even.
    Any time I ask about the other things, he says "will you be there? Because that's all that matters"   or when talking about ceremony music he said and I quote " I veto anything that isn't Alabama.. " 
    ALSO, I've learned just focus on one thing at a time when you look at EVERYTHING you need to do then it gets overwhelming but I make a small list to accomplish each week so it's more manageable and not as overwhelming and it's nice putting a lil check mark next to each thing I accomplish.  Like TX said they have tools like that on here as well. I utilize that as well, but I'm not the internet much so I don't utilize it the the fullest. 
    Hope your planning gets easier for you :)

  • I feel the exact same way. I am trying to plan everything by myself. He has enough on his plate  so isnt helping much. Its very very overwhelming I know exactly how you feel.
  • Time differences keep my fi and me from talking alot, too.  When I find myself missing him, wedding planning actually helps me feel close to him.  Most of the planning I have been doing myself, and will continue to do.  He won't be back until it's almost time to send out the invites!  The really inportant things that I feel I want his input, I email to him about at least a month before I have to make a decision on it.  Like the play list, all I needed to know was if there was any music that reminded him of his ex (this is his second marriage).  So no Rascal Flats will be played at our wedding!  That way I don't stress him out becuase he stressing me out taking to long to decide on something he probably thinks is minute!  The first several months of planning were stressful, until I had most of the decisions made.  I agree with Kelty, I had exclaimed so many times that I hate wedding planning!!  And it was stressful enough, so I have had no problems with second guessing.  Go through that again?  NO!  The key for me to keep my sanity has been giving myself ALOT of time to plan ( I started planning right away), and staying organized.  I have a 3 ring binder with notes in it from recipies for punch to websites to buying flowers online. 
    I want a love like Johnny & June!
  • I'm right there with you. My FI is away and won't be back til a month before the wedding. On top of it my friend a 5 hr drive from me also got engaged and asked me to be her MOH. Her wedding is 2 weeks after mine. Sometimes planning our wedding gets to the point that I miss him so much that I actually switch over to helping her plan her wedding. Mine is around 45 guests, her's is around 160. So I switch back and forth. Plus I have a 5 year old and a 3 month old.
    One thing that helps me is going out and going over board on finding things that I like. Then narrow down things to 4 to 5 and then I send him links, pics, etc to look over to get his input. I had about 6 windows open on my internet at once with at least 8 tabs on each til I narrowed things down. For the most part my FI is one of those, it's whatever you want babe. He is going to pick out what him and the groomsmen wear though. He made sure to inform me of that.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards