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Engaged as a sophmore

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Re: Engaged as a sophmore

  • I thought I had found the love of my life while I was in high school. He was a senior when I was a freshman. We started dating during my sophomore year when he was already out of school. We dated for three years and he proposed. I was 17, him 21. I ended up breaking it off that following February of my senior year due to the fact I wasn't ready, and he wasn't that "great guy" I thought he was. It's a wonderful feeling to be in love, but at a young age, it's hard to tell. I'm only 22 now, and my FI and I have been dating our whole college career. We are now both graduates with wonderful jobs and just got engaged because we feel like we are stable and can support ourselves and each other. Take it slow.. listen to concerns people have for you two. You are young and have plenty of time to settle down.
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  • FTR - I don't believe anyone has attacked the OPs religious beliefs. In fact, many said they understand the devotion to God, but to take a step back and realize that if God has made them to be a pair, they will be just as much of a pair in their 20s as they are now.



    I met "the love of my life" when I was in my early teens and he was older (5 years) than me. I had a crush on him for YEARS, and we grew as friends. I had a boyfriend break up with me and bail on me 3 days before my Junior prom (for which I'd paid over $100 for tickets for). This friend came to my rescue, finding a tux last minute, working all day Saturday, driving 3 hours to meet me, went to prom with me, stayed up all night at post-prom activities, then drove 3 hours back, worked all day Sunday, and then drove 7+ hours back home on almost no sleep. I'd never met someone who would go out of their way like that for me.

    The summer between my junior and senior year, we went on our first official date and made things "official" several weeks later. Everyone we knew approved, despite the age difference, and we were told regularly how "meant to be" we were. And we thought so too. I "knew" he was the man I was going to marry. I graduated HS and before going to college, this BF bought me a 1K diamond promise ring - a sign that we'd be getting married.

    You know what? We broke up the 2nd semester of my freshman year. I realized how co-dependent our relationship was, how unhealthy things were, how obsessive and controlling he was, and I cut things off. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and to this day, it still makes me sad to think about how it all happened and the look on his face and the pain in his voice.

    5 years later, I'm engaged to my wonderful FI and wouldn't have it any other way.

  • Personally, i met my fiance while in elementary school, but we didn't start dating/getting to know each other until sophomore year in high school. We grew soooo much from then until we graduated! It is crazy the growing you can do spiritually! I think it could be very well true that the man you are engaged to is meant for you! As long as you know in your heart and his that what you are doing is in God's will and what He want for you two, without a shadow of a doubt.! I know the feeling being so young and in love, and pray about and spend time knowing God so he can direct you and order your steps. I did the same exact thing...and my crush became my boyfriend and my boyfriend became my fiance. So trusting and believing God is the msot important thing and should remain number one!
    Good luck!
  • well, i'll give you this, i understand that when you know you know. that can happen at any age. i'm a junior in high school and my significant other is a senior. we know that we will get married and have children and talk about it, but we haven't told our friends or family of our plans because we do not think they would be supportive. we will be officially engaged after i finish college.
    if your family is supportive, then more power to you! i wish you happiness.
  • In Response to Re: Engaged as a sophmore:
    well, i'll give you this, i understand that when you know you know. that can happen at any age. i'm a junior in high school and my significant other is a senior. we know that we will get married and have children and talk about it, but we haven't told our friends or family of our plans because we do not think they would be supportive. we will be officially engaged after i finish college. if your family is supportive, then more power to you! i wish you happiness.
    Posted by futuremrsmetzger
    Her family isn't supportive.

    And I 'knew" I was going to marry my bf when I was 16. Guess what, I was wrong.
  • edited January 2012
    We all know that the statistics are severely against this couple, for about 75% of teen marriages fail. However, it seems like we are forgetting about the 25% that *don't* fail. Granted, it's a small chance, but what if this couple really does make it? No need to be quite so judgemental, from just reading these posts, the poor girl was most likely seriously hurt, for 90% of the comments on this thread are just downright hateful. If you want her to know the reality of this, just give her the facts and statistics, don't attack her for her choice. It's her life, not yours, let her live it the way she sees fit. I'm sure all of us have made some really poor decisions over the course of our lives, so we're not perfect to begin with, and therefore we should not be attacking the poor girl. Besides, as I said, you never know if this couple will end up making it through and being happy together. We're judging them on our own standards and how we felt and what we were like at that age. You never know a person just by reading something they posted on the internet. We know nothing of what this girl is really like. We know nothing of what she feels or believes or knows. We don't know if she's ready for marriage or not. Just because we weren't ready at 15 doesnt mean she isnt. Lets stop with the hate and just lay out the facts, and wish her the best.
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  • I've read every post, and a lot has been said, a lot of which i agree with.

    As a 20 year old engaged woman who is a sophomore in college I look back just four years to where you are and i had been with a boy (and he was just a boy!) who i thought was my one. He was definitely not. Now i know that i am with my true love, call it god's plan or fate or what have you but I know my Fiance is the one i am going to be with forever.

    That being said, we are not looking to get married anytime soon. We know we are not ready for that, and high schoolers are definitely. But if you really believe you and this older boy are meant, then waiting until after college/ministry school will not matter. It will give you guys time to grow as a couple and really figure things out for your future. And if God has truly willed it that you and this boy are meant to be then a few years more to properly secure your future, his future, and your futures together will not matter or make a huge difference. 
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  • edited January 2012
    I can understand where you are coming from. You are young. I am sure most people disapprove. I think the maturity of you to pray about it first is an important thing. It appears you two do have a quite mature relationship with each other and God. What some people on this discussion may not understand is the difference in a Christ-centered relationship and a secular relationship. Those who are "all out" for God stray away from ALL sexual impurity. So basically, all you have binding you is each other. It isn't that worldly desire that probably 90% of relationships have today. It is on a much deeper level.

    However, please understand where the negativity is coming from. You can't even drive (in most states), or vote, or legally sign your own contracts. That does seem young to most people.

    I, too, am a Christian in a God-centered engagement right now. I am only 21 (that might seem old to you, lol) but I know he and I are ready. We prayed about it for many months and we have been together for 2.5 years.

    I thought I had found "the one" in high school, too, but he wasn't. I know of many Christians, however, who were married right after high school and are in amazingly strong, beautiful, marriages now. Marriage, at any age, is going to be difficult.
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