birth control?

marinarose24 · February 2011

Hey ladies!
This topic has come up from time to time with me and my FI. I am not sure whether or not to go on birth control when we get married. Half of me thinks that I shouldn't because it is showing that I am trying to take control of the situation when I should just trust that God will bring us a child in His perfect timing. However, the other part of me really doesn't want to have a baby right away (we want to enjoy being married for a few years first) and thinks it is more responsible to go on birth control since we know we aren't ready. What do you girls think? What are you all planning on doing?

kalizoomba · February 2011

If God wants you to have a child, you'll have one no matter if you use birth control or not. One of my friends and each of her 4 siblings were ALL conceived while their parents were using birth control. (each time they were using a different kind - since the previous methods had failed)

Personally, FI and I think there's too many children out there without good families, FI is going to get a vasectomy, and if (or when) the time comes that we feel God leading us to have a child, we will adopt.

fpaemp2011 · February 2011

We're not going to use any horomonal birth control (pill, patch, shot, implant, Mirena) or copper IUD's because we believe that life begins at conception and are not comfortable with the chance of a child being conceived and then not having a place to implant if the BC has altered the endometrium. We know the first two mechanisms of those BCs are to thicken cervical fluid and attempt to prevent ovulation, but it's that third mechanism (that you can find on BC websites) that just makes us too uncomfortable.

We've decided to use Natural Family Planning (NFP)/Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). NFP does not use barriers or spermicide...FAM allows for them. We're still discussing using barriers...haven't decided yet. I've found a phenomenal support system on www.christianfamilyplanning.net They only advocate NFP/FAM, but if you're currently using a horomonal BC and want to switch, there are groups that help you figure out what's going on with your body and learn how to chart your body temperature and other body signs as you're coming off the horomones.

We're going to use NFP/FAM to avoid for a year or so, and then we'll use it to TTC.

There was a fairly lengthy discussion about BC a while ago.

DramaGeek · February 2011

Kalizoomba, are you guys planning on the vasectomy right away? How old are you? Be aware that some doctors will be hesitant to do it if you're on the young side, especially if you don't have any children. We tried to get it done when we got married and the dr told H to come back after he turned 30. He went in for a pre-op check up and to get a referral the day of his 30th birthday. Of coure, he still hasn't made the darn phone call for the surgery.

OP, we've been using BCP for 8 years with no incident. It's really about what you think is right for you. I believe God gave us a brain so we could make these decisions ourselves, with his guidance. I would be a terrible mom, so no way do I want a child. We've taken steps to insure that doesn't happen, but as PP said, if God wanted us to have a child we would have. I'm taking 8 years of radio silence on the matter to mean God agrees with us ;-)

drama1308 · February 2011

We're on the same page marinarose. We want to enjoy our marriage too! FI and I will be using BC for a while at first. We are both still in collage and don't want to bring a child into the mix yet. (especially since I have 1.5 years left and I'm in the elementary education program and CAN'T get behind.) I'll be on BC because I don't trust condoms and have heard that they are not so great.

Once we are ready for children we will get off the BCl, and stay off

kellya01 · February 2011

We know that we want children in the future, not too distant future, but not right away. I'm most excited about NFP and barriers because my FI also likes it, but we've talked a bit about BC and he supports me making an informed decision and talking with my doctor. So, I guess what I'm saying is that we're undecided, but leaning toward NFP and barriers as our primary method of BC as opposed to hormonal BC.

joyfulbride424 · February 2011

We're using NFP/FAM. It's very reliable and you have fertile/infertile stages throughout your cycle. be aware this is NOT the "rhythm method" which has been proven horribly ineffective.

If you're not comfortable on BC - explore other options, it's not the only one.

kalizoomba · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_birth-control-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e8895587-28ab-42be-9ec7-38b78a93067aPost:ee41665f-acfa-4056-8148-f2a7a3fab88d">Re: birth control?</a>:
[QUOTE]Kalizoomba, are you guys planning on the vasectomy right away? How old are you? Be aware that some doctors will be hesitant to do it if you're on the young side, especially if you don't have any children. We tried to get it done when we got married and the dr told H to come back after he turned 30. He went in for a pre-op check up and to get a referral the day of his 30th birthday. Of coure, he still hasn't made the darn phone call for the surgery.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm 23, he's 25. Yeah, we're getting married in October, and FI"s planning to get an appointment over Thanksgiving - so he has a few days to rest, or Christmas. There are a few other circumstances why we want this, but I won't go into here. If the Dr won't do it, we'll go to another one. If you want to know more, send me a PM. </div>

DramaGeek · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_birth-control-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e8895587-28ab-42be-9ec7-38b78a93067aPost:637c0f24-fcef-436b-87df-b91c2f6eb5d2">Re: birth control?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: birth control? : I'm 23, he's 25. Yeah, we're getting married in October, and FI"s planning to get an appointment over Thanksgiving - so he has a few days to rest, or Christmas. There are a few other circumstances why we want this, but I won't go into here. If the Dr won't do it, we'll go to another one. If you want to know more, send me a PM.
Posted by kalizoomba[/QUOTE]

No need to share more than you're comfortable with, just wanted to make sure you're aware of the possibility. We talked to a few drs and came to the conclusion that if no one reputable was willing, it was best to wait until they were. Now if he'd just get off his duff and make the appointment!

loves2shop4shoes · February 2011

I am on Paragard, which is a copper IUD. I've also tried the pill and Nuvaring. I think that if God didn't want us to have birth control, he wouldn't have allowed it to be invented.

I would just be VERY careful if you do NFP. EVERY single couple I know that has done NFP has gotten pregnant within 2 years.

kellya01 · February 2011

Have any of you tried Ortho Evra (the BC Patch)? I've done some research on the different methods of pills / etc, and it seems like this patch thing might be something I could try. I have trouble taking regular pills most of the time (gag reflex kicks in), so I try not to take a lot of pills if I can help it. Anyway .... if you have personal experience with the patch, good or bad, I'd be happy to hear about it. I'm going to talk with my doctor specifically about this method to see if it has any lasting negative effects on TTC for the future, but its on the top of my list as of now, besides what I posted before.

musicalsunlight · February 2011

I have been using BCP for about 2 years now. I think what you feel most comfortable with is what you should do. Talk to your doctor as well, they will have a lot of insight into different methods.

sessionswedding · February 2011

I have been on the pill for 7 years. I went to the gyno when I was 15 with horomonal issues and suspected polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), for which the treatment is birth control. I started the pill right around my 16th birthday, and I'm about to turn 23.

It is not a big deal to be on the pill. The first few months sucked whlie my body adjusted to the new horomones, but I have felt great ever since. Less acne, less cramps, shorter periods, and periods that I can predict the start of almost down to the hour.

FI and I don't want any kids until our late 20s, and I'm thinking more along the lines of 30. Because my cycle is so irregular (or even ABSENT) without the pill, NFP/FAM would NEVER work for me. Barrier methods are also slightly less reliable than the pill, and FI and I have discussed using them and are not really into them.

Because the pill is such a common thing for me, and because I pretty much need it for the health of my reproductive system whether or not I'm trying to conceive, I've never understood the whole internal conflict that some Christian women have when it comes to using it. If you don't want kids yet, just use it! And if God wants you to get pregnant anyway, He'll make sure you forget to take it, lol.

ETA: Kelly, have you ever seen a BC pill? Mine are literally smaller than my pinky nail, lol. They're not hard to swallow because they're suuuper tiny.

AnnaW11 · February 2011

I did a lot of research about the "abortificant effect" of BC and wasn't convinced that there was evidence of it actually happening. There were discussions a few months ago where some of us were talking about it where you can see the links to some articles from both sides. I think it is an area of Christian freedom where we should act in accordance with our conscience.

Personally, FI and I will be using the pill. I am starting sometime this week (just went to the OBGYN on Thurs for the first time). We are getting married in May and I wanted to make sure I had a chance to gauge my reactions to the pill. We are in the same boat as some others who will be in school/commitments the first couple years that would make having a child not a wise decision.

I think that an important idea is that we are called to be stewards of what God has given us, and I think that means that using the things he has given us (through medicine, etc.) to make wise decisions. I don't think using birth control is a sign of you not trusting God, but rather being the best steward of what you have been given during this specific time in your life. I believe that God is sovereign and ordains all things, which of course includes our families. So, if it is God's plan for you to have a child, you will. I think the key is your attitude should pregnancy happen. But just because you know God is in control of the situation doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you and your FI determine is wise for each stage of your relationship.

I have no idea if all of that was helpful or made sense!

Calypso1977 · February 2011

we use FAM. i have been charting TTA now for 27 cycles. it is an amazingly simple method. i highly recommend learning more about it. i have only had one scare and that is when H and i knowingly had sex when i was in my fertile phase - we had a lapse of judgement due to alcohol. otherwise, i trust the method complely and it is in line with our church's teachings.

iamjoesgurl · February 2011

I use a BCP. When I was in college I was on it to regulate my period but it was affecting my health so I stopped. The pills now are much lower in hormones so I went back on. It just seemed like the easiest BC for us and like sessions said, less cramps (which are really bad off BCP) and lighter period. My doctor tried to get me to consider Nuvaring but I would rather take the pill.

rachelea · February 2011

I didn't take the time to read all the responses but just letting you know what I chose to do. I agree with one PP that I DID read that said you'll get pregnant when God wants you to, whether you're on birth control on not. Given that, I chose to go on the pill. Its a generic brand that costs $9 at Walmart even without insurance, though I do have it. I haven't really noticed any side effects yet, I'm on my second round of it.

kellya01 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_birth-control-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e8895587-28ab-42be-9ec7-38b78a93067aPost:d7e38eb8-ef26-4fd6-8144-1893316d8aa1">Re: birth control?</a>:
[QUOTE]ETA: Kelly, have you ever seen a BC pill? Mine are literally smaller than my pinky nail, lol. They're not hard to swallow because they're suuuper tiny.
Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

<div>I have seen my friends' pills and they seem very small, but I even have trouble taking the smallest caplets from Aleve and even the smallest multi-vitamin I can find I have trouble getting down. I honestly don't take a lot of meds because of that. I guess it would be easier if I make myself get used to it as well. I'll have to explore the options... </div>

musicalsunlight · February 2011

I agree with sessions, in case you are hesitant, Kelly. I have a BCP that I can barely feel on my tongue when I put it there. It is MUCH different than any other pill I've ever taken. I also take a multivitamin and a daily allergy pill, and I feel those when I swallow. I never feel my BCP when I swallow. I promise it isn't the same!

jkh1182 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_birth-control-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e8895587-28ab-42be-9ec7-38b78a93067aPost:8b0a8edc-2285-4506-a9d8-d5a6e1b8ac01">Re: birth control?</a>:
[QUOTE]Have any of you tried Ortho Evra (the BC Patch)? I've done some research on the different methods of pills / etc, and it seems like this patch thing might be something I could try. I have trouble taking regular pills most of the time (gag reflex kicks in), so I try not to take a lot of pills if I can help it. Anyway .... if you have personal experience with the patch, good or bad, I'd be happy to hear about it. I'm going to talk with my doctor specifically about this method to see if it has any lasting negative effects on TTC for the future, but its on the top of my list as of now, besides what I posted before.
Posted by kellya01[/QUOTE]

I have used the patch before. I like the fact that you only have to change it once a week, so it's not hard to forget. I think it is a great method if you are comfortable with hormones. I am supposed to be on hormones because I have PCOS. I am no longer able to be on the patch because I have a heart condition, but the silver lining to it all is that my PCOS is getting better and doctors are confident that I may be able to conceive when I am ready. My FI and I plan on trying for a family shortly after we are married, because I will be 30 and he will be 40.

kellya01 · February 2011

That makes me feel better! I'll definitely consult my doctor. I guess part of me says that God will bless us with children when He sees fit, but I also know that for us, we are okay with using modern science to help regulate that process, so hormonal BC is something we are willing to investigate and explore. My new job starts March 7 (with full health benefits) so I'm hoping to be able to go to the doctor sometime during March to find out more, and hopefully start so that by the time the wedding comes I have a handle on the hormones and can make adjustments if it's not working. I still love the idea of the patch, though - the ease of use, and not having to remember every single day is definitely appealing!! :-)

twixinthemix · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_birth-control-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e8895587-28ab-42be-9ec7-38b78a93067aPost:d7e38eb8-ef26-4fd6-8144-1893316d8aa1">Re: birth control?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been on the pill for 7 years. I went to the gyno when I was 15 with horomonal issues and suspected polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), for which the treatment is birth control. I started the pill right around my 16th birthday, and I'm about to turn 23. It is not a big deal to be on the pill. The first few months sucked whlie my body adjusted to the new horomones, but I have felt great ever since. Less acne, less cramps, shorter periods, and periods that I can predict the start of almost down to the hour. FI and I don't want any kids until our late 20s, and I'm thinking more along the lines of 30. <strong>Because my cycle is so irregular (or even ABSENT) without the pill, NFP/FAM would NEVER work for me.</strong> Barrier methods are also slightly less reliable than the pill, and FI and I have discussed using them and are not really into them. Because the pill is such a common thing for me, and because I pretty much need it for the health of my reproductive system whether or not I'm trying to conceive, I've never understood the whole internal conflict that some Christian women have when it comes to using it. If you don't want kids yet, just use it! And if God wants you to get pregnant anyway, He'll make sure you forget to take it, lol. ETA: Kelly, have you ever seen a BC pill? Mine are literally smaller than my pinky nail, lol. They're not hard to swallow because they're suuuper tiny.
Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>FI and I are highly considering doing NFP/FAM and honestly, I am very irregular as well. However, NFP/FAM is not at all like the the rhythm method and is considered just as effective as BCP, even if you are very irregular like me. In fact, by doing NFP/FAM, you will become more aware as to what your body is trying to tell you versus just covering up problems. There might be a reason that you are so irregular, and by charting you and your doctor can figure out what's going on.</div><div>
</div><div>Case in point. A friend of mine when she was in HS was having some female issues down there. The gynecologist just quickly told her that BC pills would make it better. Well, no, it was just covering up a serious problem. And even with invasive surgery, she and her husband aren't able to have kids. If she had known about NFP/FAM and had been tracking, it would have been so easy to diagnose the problems 7 years ago and she most likely would have been able to conceive. </div><div>
</div><div>Just food for thought.

</div>

azdancer8 · February 2011

DH and I want children for sure, but not for a few years, so I knew I needed some form of birth control. I read and prayed about all the debate over HBC, and the abortificant theory, and came to the conclusion that there was nothing that difinitively proved that HBC (I'm referring to the estrogen/progestin combo) causes abortions. I decided to try the pill for a few months before the wedding to see how my body reacted (I have weird reactions to many prescription meds). I figured if I didn't like it, we would figure something else out by the wedding. I also feel that if God wants me to have children earlier, he'll make it happen regardless of my efforts.

I have to say, I LOVE the pill. It has made my periods so much easier and more regular, my cramps basically nonexistent, and the headaches that I used to get almost every day rarely happen now. I hate taking pills normally, but this is so tiny, I don't even need water with it. I wish I had gone on birth control much earlier - I would have saved myself years of pain and frustration.

All that being said, it's not a decision any of us can make for you. It's definitely something to talk to your OBGYN and FI about, and to pray about. But feel free to PM me if you want more information...

Soon2BeMrsTing · February 2011

DH and I are HUGE fans of a German-manufactured fertility monitor called Lady-Comp, available here: http://www.naturallyforher.com/products/Lady-Comp

We love it because it's so unobstrusive and offers a natural means of being in better touch with where I am in my cycle, without altering anything. It wakes me up gently every morning, and then I use the attached thermometer to take get my daily Basal Body Temperature reading. Three days before I am expected to start bleeding, it asks me to input 'M' data: am I menstruating or not? By taking my BBT every day and inputting my 'M' data, it gives me a red, yellow or green light within 30-60 seconds. If we get yellow or red, DH and I know to use a condom.

I only heard about this method last year from another Christian friend who swears by the product. Apparently, it's very popular in Europe. I started using mine in June so as to give it a little time to get to know my body (it takes about three months to begin to give a reliable readout; after that, the product is supposed to be good for ten years of use.) It costs about $400 but DH and I believe it was worth every penny, because I don't have to use the BCP or an IUD, and we've heard about it being such a reliable device. Also, it's really portable and only needs to be charged once every forty days or so (this is important, as we live overseas and travel a bunch for work. I was in Bangkok, Taipei and Beijing all just within the four weeks). Lady-Comp came with me on each trip. In a year or so, when we're TTC, Lady-Comp will tell us when I'm ovulating so as to help us know when to get busy! MOH uses it too and literally got pregnant the first time she and her H tried, using the device. She also knew she was pregant really early because her Lady-Comp alerted her to her spiked BBT, which indicates pregnancy.

We've been married seven months and so far, no surprises

joyfulbride424 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_birth-control-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e8895587-28ab-42be-9ec7-38b78a93067aPost:08625e94-e728-4ae0-a0ea-bb335bd4ec0a">Re: birth control?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>DH and I are HUGE fans of a German-manufactured fertility monitor called Lady-Comp, available here: <a href="http://www.naturallyforher.com/products/Lady-Comp" rel='nofollow'>http://www.naturallyforher.com/products/Lady-Comp</a> We love it because it's so unobstrusive and offers a natural means of being in better touch with where I am in my cycle, without altering anything.</strong> It wakes me up gently every morning, and then I use the attached thermometer to take get my daily Basal Body Temperature reading. Three days before I am expected to start bleeding, it asks me to input 'M' data: am I menstruating or not? By taking my BBT every day and inputting my 'M' data, it gives me a red, yellow or green light within 30-60 seconds. If we get yellow or red, DH and I know to use a condom. I only heard about this method last year from another Christian friend who swears by the product. Apparently, it's very popular in Europe. I started using mine in June so as to give it a little time to get to know my body (it takes about three months to begin to give a reliable readout; after that, the product is supposed to be good for ten years of use.) It costs about $400 but DH and I believe it was worth every penny, because I don't have to use the BCP or an IUD, and we've heard about it being such a reliable device. Also, it's really portable and only needs to be charged once every forty days or so (this is important, as we live overseas and travel a bunch for work. I was in Bangkok, Taipei and Beijing all just within the four weeks). Lady-Comp came with me on each trip. In a year or so, when we're TTC, Lady-Comp will tell us when I'm ovulating so as to help us know when to get busy! MOH uses it too and literally got pregnant the first time she and her H tried, using the device. She also knew she was pregant really early because her Lady-Comp alerted her to her spiked BBT, which indicates pregnancy. We've been married seven months and so far, no surprises
Posted by Soon2BeMrsTing[/QUOTE]

I actually use LadyComp and I am a huge fan as well. I've been using it for several months now :)

In response to those who are concerned about irregular cycles and FAM - FAM actually works really well for irregular cycles because its not the rhythm method which bases your fertility on past cycles, obviously that is ridiculous, no woman is the same month to month!

jkh1182 · February 2011

I've actually talked to my gyno about the HBC before when I was on it and she said that it actually does not abort the embryo it just makes it so it doesn't implant. I think that is a misconception, but I can understand why others choose not to use it. Have any of you thought about using condoms as a method?

yarmik89 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_birth-control-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e8895587-28ab-42be-9ec7-38b78a93067aPost:313930ce-80fb-475a-840c-13a6b6a66509">Re: birth control?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are in the same boat as some others who will be in school/commitments the first couple years that would make having a child not a wise decision. I think that an important idea is that <strong>we are called to be stewards of what God has given us, and I think that means that using the things he has given us (through medicine, etc.) to make wise decisions</strong>. I don't think using birth control is a sign of you not trusting God, but rather being the best steward of what you have been given during this specific time in your life. I believe that God is sovereign and ordains all things, which of course includes our families. So, if it is God's plan for you to have a child, you will. I think the key is your attitude should pregnancy happen.
Posted by AnnaW11[/QUOTE]

i totally agree with this. this is why we're using BCP. we're not sure how long we're gonna use it but we know when we have kids we want to give them the best life we can and at this point we wouldn't be able to do that to our best ability (finishing school and money issues)

Calypso1977 · February 2011

I've actually talked to my gyno about the HBC before when I was on it and she said that it actually does not abort the embryo it just makes it so it doesn't implant.

if you believe that life starts at conception (when sperm meets egg) then this most certainly is an abortion if you are purposefully thinning your uterine lining, making it inhospitable to a fertilized egg.

fpaemp2011 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_birth-control-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e8895587-28ab-42be-9ec7-38b78a93067aPost:046f9d6a-27b7-45ec-8c0f-c743e36acbc2">Re: birth control?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've actually talked to my gyno about the HBC before when I was on it and she said that <strong>it actually does not abort the embryo it just makes it so it doesn't implant.</strong> I think that is a misconception, but I can understand why others choose not to use it. Have any of you thought about using condoms as a method?
Posted by jkh1182[/QUOTE]

This is how it works, if the BC fails to prevent ovulation. However, we believe that life begins at the moment the sperm fertilizes the egg in the fallopian tube (conception), which occurs as many as 4 days before the baby (fertilized egg) implants in the endometrium, which doctors and the general public consider the beginning of pregnancy. This is where our issue with HBC/copper IUD comes up.

RebeccaJac · February 2011

I've been on BCP since high school for hormonal issues. I'd get my period and it would feel more like the flu! We plan to continue with this. God will either lead you into a place where you feel comfortable going off the pill and letting "nature take it's course" or he'll just create a baby regardless of your intentions!

We are both going through seminary and babies would seriously hinder that goal!

I don't feel taking birth control is any different than taking any other precautions in life. God is powerful enough to override our control (as unpleasent as that often is!)

Good luck! Pray about it and do whatever you think is right

bourgehm · February 2011

I was on the bcp and I hated it. My body didn't like it. I was so sick and had tons of side effects. I know, I could have switched pills, but I didnt' want to deal with it. We're going to do condoms and FAM/NFP.

birth control?

Re: birth control?

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