Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?

mia082683 · November 2010

My mother and maids are planning my shower, and they're unsure of what to do... They want to give us a big Jack and Jill shower with all of our friends and family including children. Our wedding, although with a list of about 150 guests, is really just adults and just our closest friends and family (His parents are each one of eleven). Since we are paying for the wedding ourselves, we have not included many of our cousins, friends of our parents, or chidlren. Would it be okay to have a huge 'pre-wedding bash' as our shower in which people are invited who many not be on the wedding list. How would they word it on the invitations? Is that tacky?

In no way is it a ploy for gifts, but rather... my family and I have always had huge bashes for every occasion with 200+ people in our backyard hanging out! What do you think?

zitiqueen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:6877ec27-eb24-473e-a533-f8c41d55575f">Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]My mother and maids are planning my shower, and they're unsure of what to do... They want to give us a big Jack and Jill shower with all of our friends and family including children. Our wedding, although with a list of about 150 guests, is really just adults and just our closest friends and family (His parents are each one of eleven). Since we are paying for the wedding ourselves, we have not included many of our cousins, friends of our parents, or chidlren. Would it be okay to have a huge 'pre-wedding bash' as our shower in which people are invited who many not be on the wedding list. How would they word it on the invitations? Is that tacky? In no way is it a ploy for gifts, but rather... my family and I have always had huge bashes for every occasion with 200+ people in our backyard hanging out! What do you think?
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

Tacky. Doesn't matter if you expect gifts or not -- if the party is wedding-related, the guests damned well better be invited to the wedding.

bethsmiles · November 2010

Only people who are invited to the wedding are invited to pre-wedding parties.

trix1223 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:6877ec27-eb24-473e-a533-f8c41d55575f">Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]My mother and maids are planning my shower, and they're unsure of what to do... They want to give us a big Jack and Jill shower with all of our friends and family including children. Our wedding, although with a list of about 150 guests, is really just adults and just our closest friends and family (His parents are each one of eleven). Since we are paying for the wedding ourselves, we have not included many of our cousins, friends of our parents, or chidlren. <strong> Would it be okay to have a huge 'pre-wedding bash' as our shower in which people are invited who many not be on the wedding list. <font color="#ff0000">No, it's not okay at all.</font>

How would they word it on the invitations? <font color="#ff0000">They won't have to worry about how to word it, because they shouldn't be doing it. The reason you're having so much trouble figuring out how to say it is because there isn't a gracious way to word something graceless.</font>

Is that tacky? <font color="#ff0000">Yes.</font>

In no way is it a ploy for gifts, <font color="#ff0000">It doesn't matter if that's what your intent is. What does matter is that everyone will see it as "I'm not important enough to be invited to the wedding, but I can be invited to an event that is specifically designed as a gift giving event? I don't think so....</font>

but rather... my family and I have always had huge bashes for every occasion with 200+ people in our backyard hanging out! What do you think?</strong> <font color="#ff0000"> <strong>Have a big bash. That's fine. Just don't call it a wedding shower, a Jack and Jill, an engagement party, a bachelorette party, or any other wedding related term. Have a non wedding related family party and enjoy it. Remember: not everything in the coming months has to be about your wedding. You can have a non-wedding family party.</strong></font>
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

mia082683 · November 2010

Wow, I am so surprised by all this! I see all over the internet that if you are having a small wedding, it is very okay to have a shower that includes others. Every one that I've talked to around here has said that it is totally okay to have a shower that includes people that can't be invited to the wedding!

heyimbren · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:d54f6265-7799-4b4a-bb2d-55c2f1dbfa30">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I am so surprised by all this! I see all over the internet that if you are having a small wedding, it is very okay to have a shower that includes others. Every one that I've talked to around here has said that it is totally okay to have a shower that includes people that can't be invited to the wedding!
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

Well now you know that that's all inproper from an etiquette standpoint. A lot of people do it, but that doesn't make it appropriate.

In planning a wedding, you make choices (such as having a small wedding). Consequences (good or bad) come along with those decisions.

mandi921vh · November 2010

Any pre-wedding parties must only include those who are invited to the wedding. Period.

vixey · November 2010

I agree with everything Trix said. Especially

"Have a big bash. That's fine. Just don't call it a wedding shower, a Jack and Jill, an engagement party, a bachelorette party, or any other wedding related term. Have a non wedding related family party and enjoy it. Remember: not everything in the coming months has to be about your wedding. You can have a non-wedding family party."

Perfectly said.

sprtychick10 · November 2010

A Jack and Jill "shower" implies you are celebrating the upcoming wedding. You can't expect people to be ok being invited to the shower but not the wedding. Sorry. The way I see it, if they are special enough to get a shower invitation then they need to get a wedding invitation.

mia082683 · November 2010

@ Trix & Vixey: I understand and partly agree with this.. it's the fact that we are paying for our own wedding and so are not including friends of the family or kids and all of our guests are immediate family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and wedding party). Because kids are a huge part of our family and friends, my mother wants to be able to have something with the kids and her friends so that they can be a part of some wedding festivities.

heyimbren · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:1cb740a5-908d-4c2a-9891-7940276619f9">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]@ Trix & Vixey: I understand and partly agree with this.. it's the fact that we are paying for our own wedding and so are not including friends of the family or kids and all of our guests are immediate family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and wedding party). Because kids are a huge part of our family and friends, my mother wants to be able to have something with the kids and her friends so that they can be a part of some wedding festivities.
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

You can refuse a WR party that's being offered in your honour. Just throw a family reunion or something instead for these people, just like Trix suggested. It is rude, and there isn't any way to get around that. Either 1) find a way to have a bigger wedding on a smaller budget (cake and punch) or 2) make some cuts and stick to them.

Also, as a kid, I wasn't that interested in weddings. I was excited to see my cousins and aunts and uncles, but I could care less that it was a wedding as opposed to a family picnic or BBQ.

ekilzer1 · November 2010

Have you ever considered asking your mom to contribute the money that she plans on spending on this party to your wedding instead? Then you could invite more people to your wedding.

I know it's been said a lot on this post already, but I will reiterate... SUPER SUPER tacky to invite people to a shower and not to the wedding....

trix1223 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:1cb740a5-908d-4c2a-9891-7940276619f9">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]@ Trix & Vixey: I understand and partly agree with this.. it's the fact that we are paying for our own wedding and so are not including friends of the family or kids and all of our guests are immediate family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and wedding party). Because kids are a huge part of our family and friends, my mother wants to be able to have something with the kids and her friends so that they can be a part of some wedding festivities.
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

So the fact that you're paying for your wedding makes it okay to do something rude? Sorry, you didn't change my mind at all with your follow up. It's still inappropriate.

zitiqueen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:d54f6265-7799-4b4a-bb2d-55c2f1dbfa30">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I am so surprised by all this! I see all over the internet that if you are having a small wedding, it is very okay to have a shower that includes others. Every one that I've talked to around here has said that it is totally okay to have a shower that includes people that can't be invited to the wedding!
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

Links, please.

Why did you even post this question here? Clearly you were just looking for validation and you plan to go ahead with this gift grab Jack-and Jill regardless of how tacky and rude it is.

SSaltzman87 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:c99645c4-9b88-4ae7-a216-cb465dfc1e12">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding? : Tacky. Doesn't matter if you expect gifts or not -- if the party is wedding-related, the guests damned well better be invited to the wedding.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

Ditto. Tacky to the nth degree.

3catpalace · November 2010

What planet is OP living on that a guest list of 150 people is considered a SMALL wedding?!?!

vixey · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:c516a343-a37a-4ba0-99d2-ddcdb810f5c6">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]What planet is OP living on that a guest list of 150 people is considered a SMALL wedding?!?!
Posted by 3catpalace[/QUOTE]
This is a good point.

I would be offended if I was so much of a B-list guest that I couldn't make it into the top 150 that actually gets invited to the wedding.

saisongbird · November 2010

You can't do this. Showers are a gift-giving occasion and you can't invite people to pre-wedding parties who aren't invited to the wedding itself. This is another example of you can't have your cake and eat it too. If mom wants to invite all these people, she can contribute to the wedding so that they can be invited.

Muffin'sMom · November 2010

Everyone here has said it all. Brides who try to talk this into being ok usually say something like, "We just want them to be a part of our wedding!" But they are not, because you are not inviting them. They are standing outside looking in the windows of the actual main event. They are only being invited to hear about a party that they are not important enough to be invited to, and to give a gift for a celebration that they will not see.

I don't know where you saw it "all over the internet", but I'll bet it was posted by brides who WANT it to be okay.

By all means, have a party, a BBQ, a picnic. Party with everyone who comes. Just don't call it a "wedding" party.

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:d54f6265-7799-4b4a-bb2d-55c2f1dbfa30">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I am so surprised by all this! I see all over the internet that if you are having a small wedding, it is very okay to have a shower that includes others. Every one that I've talked to around here has said that it is totally okay to have a shower that includes people that can't be invited to the wedding!
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]
No. No no no. It is very much not okay.

People are not that desperate to attend your wedding, really. If you aren't close enough to them to be willing to spring for buying them dinner, they aren't close enough to you to care that they didn't make the cut. Really, I promise.

And 150 isn't a small wedding. Small would be 100 or fewer. If you're truly having a small wedding, you're likely having a small shower, or not having one at all. It's in no way a required event.

nannewmur · November 2010

This idea of a shower/pre-wedding party is tacky. Go ahead and have a party but DO NOT make it wedding related. It is inconsiderate to invite someone to a wedding shower if they are not invited to the wedding. How would you feel if a friend/relative was having a large birthday party and you were not invited but were asked to bring a birthday gift on a specific day at a specific time? Same concept.

mia082683 · November 2010

I'm surprised by how rude people are being. I simply thought that you would give me your opinions and be respectful.
I don't care about having the shower or getting the gifts. My mother and maids would like to do it and so I asked because they don't have a Knot account. I personally think that a shower in itself is tacky, invited to the wedding or not. You're asking people to come and buy you gifts and then sit and watch you open them.

For those saying that 150 people is not small - I agree.. However, in our case, 150 people is only our immediate family. We have not included friends of the family or our own friends on that list, nor did we include children or guests that were not already engaged or married to one of our family members. Although I think 150 is a large wedding, when it includes only immediate family, I do think it's more intimate than large.

I want no validation but rather honest and hopefully polite opinions and advice that I can then forward along to those who were hoping to plan this event. I don't agree with everything other people do for their weddings, but I would never be as explicitly rude as some of you are being.

I had never heard of inviting people who were not invited to the wedding, but then I considered all of those showers that we've thrown for our co-workers when we weren't all invited to their weddings, etc... I thought I would ask for some honest opinions and see if anyone had ever done something like that before.

I hope some of you begin showing more respect for other people who may not know as much as you do and learn to say thing swith tact and the respect you would want to be treated with.

mia082683 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:615c3cdd-a858-4d3e-ab50-def98ac914bb">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding? : You can refuse a WR party that's being offered in your honour. Just throw a family reunion or something instead for these people, just like Trix suggested. It is rude, and there isn't any way to get around that. Either 1) find a way to have a bigger wedding on a smaller budget (cake and punch) or 2) make some cuts and stick to them. Also, as a kid, I wasn't that interested in weddings. I was excited to see my cousins and aunts and uncles, but I could care less that it was a wedding as opposed to a family picnic or BBQ.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

My cousins and nieces and nephews have voiced to me how upset they are to not be invited to the wedding which is the only reason I would like to have something that does involve them. I don't have the physical space to put them during the actual wedding, but I do feel badly about leaving them out.

mia082683 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:320d6c7a-e9fc-43be-afb4-4f926cec1a24">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you ever considered asking your mom to contribute the money that she plans on spending on this party to your wedding instead? Then you could invite more people to your wedding. I know it's been said a lot on this post already, but I will reiterate... SUPER SUPER tacky to invite people to a shower and not to the wedding....
Posted by ekilzer1[/QUOTE]

Thank you for your suggestion. It's not really about the money at this point but rather that there is no space under the tent in our backyard to fit them all. She would pay for their meals, but that would mean changing our wedding venue (which would then probably become a money issue).

mia082683 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:5c28131a-0de6-4e21-b471-8b9132e471df">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding? : So the fact that you're paying for your wedding makes it okay to do something rude? Sorry, you didn't change my mind at all with your follow up. It's still inappropriate.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry that you think I'm being rude. I wasn't trying to do anything of the sort but rather to gain some insight from others so that I WOULDN'T be rude.

ekilzer1 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:b8e776f0-88b9-45c6-869b-269cc08234cb">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm surprised by how rude people are being. I simply thought that you would give me your opinions and be respectful. I don't care about having the shower or getting the gifts. My mother and maids would like to do it and so I asked because they don't have a Knot account. I personally think that a shower in itself is tacky, invited to the wedding or not. You're asking people to come and buy you gifts and then sit and watch you open them. For those saying that 150 people is not small - I agree.. However, in our case, 150 people is only our immediate family. We have not included friends of the family or our own friends on that list, nor did we include children or guests that were not already engaged or married to one of our family members. Although I think 150 is a large wedding, when it includes only immediate family, I do think it's more intimate than large. I want no validation but rather honest and hopefully polite opinions and advice that I can then forward along to those who were hoping to plan this event. I don't agree with everything other people do for their weddings, but I would never be as explicitly rude as some of you are being. I had never heard of inviting people who were not invited to the wedding, but then I considered all of those showers that we've thrown for our co-workers when we weren't all invited to their weddings, etc...<strong> I thought I would ask for some honest opinions</strong> and see if anyone had ever done something like that before. I hope some of you begin showing more respect for other people who may not know as much as you do and learn to say thing swith tact and the respect you would want to be treated with.
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You asked for honest opinions, so you got honest opinions. </div><div>
</div><div>If you think the whole ides of showers is tacky, then I don't know why we are even having this discussion. Tell your Mom and Maids that you "appreciate their offer, but you would rather not have the shower and if they would like to have a party with friends that it sounds wonderful, but please do not incorporate the wedding."

</div>

heyimbren · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:b8e776f0-88b9-45c6-869b-269cc08234cb">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm surprised by how rude people are being. I simply thought that you would give me your opinions and be respectful. I don't care about having the shower or getting the gifts. My mother and maids would like to do it and so I asked because they don't have a Knot account. I personally think that a shower in itself is tacky, invited to the wedding or not. You're asking people to come and buy you gifts and then sit and watch you open them. For those saying that 150 people is not small - I agree.. However, in our case, 150 people is only our immediate family. We have not included friends of the family or our own friends on that list, nor did we include children or guests that were not already engaged or married to one of our family members. Although I think 150 is a large wedding, when it includes only immediate family, I do think it's more intimate than large. I want no validation but rather honest and hopefully polite opinions and advice that I can then forward along to those who were hoping to plan this event. I don't agree with everything other people do for their weddings, but I would never be as explicitly rude as some of you are being. I had never heard of inviting people who were not invited to the wedding, but then I considered all of those showers that we've thrown for our co-workers when we weren't all invited to their weddings, etc... I thought I would ask for some honest opinions and see if anyone had ever done something like that before. I hope some of you begin showing more respect for other people who may not know as much as you do and learn to say thing swith tact and the respect you would want to be treated with.
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

I think you only get a couple semi-rude comments. Everyone else was just being honest and straight to the point that this isn't a good idea etiquette wise. No one personally attacked you.

I think your gut instinct is right on this one and you should stick with it. Politely decline the shower.

If you don't have space for everyone, then you either need to 1) change the location so you do have space for everyone you want there or 2) cut back on the guest list in order to appropriately accomodate everyone. You can't include everyone in a wedding, and this is just one of those hard decisions you need to make.

heyimbren · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:f52adc00-751d-44ca-94e8-bfa3eb76d2c0">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding? : I'm sorry that you think I'm being rude. I wasn't trying to do anything of the sort but rather to gain some insight from others so that I WOULDN'T be rude.
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

Trix wasn't just calling you rude for asking. She said it would be rude of you to go through with this, and that's her insight for you. Don't read too much into what people say that you misinterpret them.

mia082683 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:f38747da-fed6-4f98-bddf-6b54c102a9e0">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding? : I think you only get a couple semi-rude comments. Everyone else was just being honest and straight to the point that this isn't a good idea etiquette wise. No one personally attacked you.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

I agree. Please, I don't think <em>everyone </em>was by any means, but there were some comments that were rather rude, and I would never call anyone out invidiually. I am just shocked (as I feel like I'm on these forums reading every day) at how some people respond to others' questions.

heyimbren · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_jack-n-jill-shower-guests-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4bd24d17-3a35-4702-af3d-8c311eb155a2Post:5070c649-88cb-4236-a2f8-c00df5b01c46">Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding? : I agree. Please, I don't think everyone was by any means, but there were some comments that were rather rude, and I would never call anyone out invidiually. I am just shocked (as I feel like I'm on these forums reading every day) at how some people respond to others' questions.
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

It's an international forum. People from all over the world are posting on here. Not everyone is going to be all puppies and rainbows. I don't really see any comments to get up in arms over.

AutumnFair · November 2010

Once again, this is an open forum, as long as ladies are not attacking you personally with calling you names, then I suggest growing some thicker skin, if you get so defensive over a little thing. And most said the IDEA is rude, not calling you directly rude. And I advise you to take note to what the ladies told you because they are right, they will make sure you do the correct thing in your situation so you do not look like a bad person to the people you know.

Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?

Re: Jack-n-Jill Shower with Guests Not Invited to Wedding?

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