I need help with this (I apologize for the long story, bear with me). First, to explain I am the bride and I live in Louisiana while my two sisters live in Dallas. I have two maids of honor (one of my sisters in Dallas and my little sister from my sorority who lives in New Orleans), they split duties and my sister did the bridal shower in Dallas and my little is planning my bachelorette in New Orleans.
I picked having my bachelorette party in New Orleans when I first got engaged (about a year ago) before my little moved there. When it was formally announced in January (planned for mid-March) that the party would be down south there was a lot of grumbling from my two sisters and my mother about the inconvenience this posed for my sisters (it would be 3 hours to my house from Dallas and then 5 to New Orleans). I'm not talking about inconvenience for the cost, I found an amazing hotel deal that made the price of a 4-star hotel only $45 per person and with carpooling the gas becomes so little cost. In fact, I predict the cost for the whole weekend including food and drinks to be $250 (I don't know what else my little has planned but I think $250 would cover everything). I also arranged with my little for the bachelorette to be Saturday night only so no one would have to take any vacation days off work. The plan was to drive down on Saturday morning have a fun night, grab beignets in the morning and then drive back up. It's a bit of a drive for the Dallas folks but my house is halfway and everyone was welcome to stop and take a rest or stay the night if need be.
Both my sisters complained that they would have to take Friday off from work to drive to my house (3 hours) on Thursday night, recover from that drive all day on Friday while I would be at my own job, then get up and drive to New Orleans on Saturday (5 hours) with a big carpool group. They also chose to take Monday off from their work as well so they could recover Sunday from the New Orleans drive and Monday from the Dallas drive (reminder it is ONLY 3 hours). Also, I have driven the 3 hours to Dallas without complaint on a regular basis for all sorts of family events.
Last night, with two weeks until the bachelorette, both of my sisters cancelled. My maid of honor sister claimed it was financial and she no longer had any vacation days. I offered to help cover her costs and reminded her she did not need to take vacation for this weekend. She claimed that the fiances don't really matter she just knows her own limitations and that she physically cannot handle a trip that would require her to be in the car (she doesn't have to drive for the carpool!!) for 16 hours in one weekend. (Also some background, she just threw me an amazing and wonderful bridal shower, but complained when some of the other bridesmaids could not attend.) My older sister followed suit saying she just got an unexpected car bill and could no longer come. I offered to help her with the hotel and gas. Her only bill would be for her own food and drinks. She refused. The effort seemed coordinated. They both knew that they were both backing out and had nailed down their excuses. It has become clear to me that they just don't want to come. I called my mom to explain the situation and she started lecturing me for offering to pay their way and how inappropriate and out of place that is. She also lectured me for paying for hotel rooms for my out of town wedding party (including my two sisters and their spouses)! The call ended on a bad note. Some more background: I've done everything in my power to make this wedding affordable and easy for everyone. Bridesmaids were asked to wear a black dress of their choosing (they don't have to buy anything new) and beige/tan shoes of their choosing. I haven't demanded for any type of shower or party I just let them decide if and how they wanted to host anything. We've also offered up our house for anyone to stay at on the night we did not pay for the hotel room to help off-set any costs.
Unfortunately, I pocket dialed my sister while I was raging to my fiance about how ridiculous their excuses are. She heard two solid minutes and now refuses to talk to me. My mother is also peeved because of our conversation about finances. I don't know how to let this go or resolve the situation. My wedding is a month away and I don't want to walk down the aisle with so many bitter feelings! Help! Am I being out of line here?