Manic Monday

AuroraRose41 · October 2015

Hi everyone! Just popping in quick to say hi and update you. I will try to come back later and respond to everyone.

Saturday went well. My hairstylist is seriously considering the possibility of flying to NY for our wedding to do my hair, and I trust her with my life so I would love if she came. She also said that she has been dying to take some advanced hair courses in NY and it would give her the motivation to do so. And since it would be business related travel, she said she could write it off on her taxes.

Sunday was the game. We had a fun time getting there, and spirits were high all around (fans wearing opposing team jerseys toasting each other etc.), so we were looking forward to a fun afternoon. Well that quickly went downhill. The people in the stands behind us got very rowdy and started trying to instigate fights. FI was losing interest by halftime and the game wasn't very exciting, so he asked if we could head out early. We decided to stay through the 3rd quarter. Well our seats were on the level where the handicap access was, and a drunk guy in an electric wheelchair came out of nowhere speeding along it and ran over/into the back of my foot as I was gathering our things. Prior to this incident, everyone going by was very slow, and either warned people themselves or had a friend or stadium staff member walking with them to warn people so that this didn't happen. FI and I both looked prior to standing up, and would have waited for him to pass had we seen him before this.

I was out of commission the rest of the day, and am WFH today to keep it iced and elevated. I can barely put weight on it. I think I am going to have FI take me to an urgent care tonight to get it X-rayed just to make sure it isn't a fracture. So, that's been my weekend and Monday.

ETA: clarification

wink0erin · October 2015

@AlPacina Oooh I love the view! It kind of reminds me of the Burren area in Ireland, very rocky, and all the spots with grass had cows grazing.

@untouchablets Good luck! You will be fine! It's scary to do anything for the first time, but really you will feel so much better afterward. And don't let anyone get to you!

@keptinstitches I love nature docs! I keep saying that I want to do a drunk history show except with nature documentaries. I tend to get wine drunk and narrate, haha. Also, I'm with @eilis1228 and love that knit-flixing has stuck. I also did some of that this weekend!

@AuroraRose41 That is probably the weirdest way to hurt your foot! Hopefully it's just bruised!

speakeasy14 · October 2015

@aurorarose41 hope it's just a bruise and not a fracture or worse!

AuroraRose41 · October 2015

@wink0erin I know right?! I was trying to figure out how I could tell my coworkers without sounding completely crazy either. I ended up just saying that I injured my ankle this weekend in my email to let people know I would be out today, but if they ask when I do end up coming in I have no idea what I am going to say. I barely looked at the guy himself when it happened, but FI is adamant that he was also a midget....so most likely a drunk midget in an electric wheelchair ran over my foot (who also was wearing the opposing team's jersey). I'm not creative enough to make this type of thing up!

@speakeasy14 thank you. Me too. I can put a tiny bit of weight on it, but only enough to walk for about 30 seconds. The weird thing is that this morning the top of my foot also hurt, which is not where the injury occurred. Maybe I was compensating for the injury without realizing it and hurt my foot even more.

jenjen047 · October 2015

@twodimes - Thanks!

@keptinstitches - That was me and FI last week....silly tiffs about the dumbest things. We finally sat down on Thursday and had a talk to clear the air and it turned out there was 1 issue that was bugging FI and once we talked it out, everything was fine. Those weeks suck, but they happen.

wink0erin · October 2015

@AuroraRose41 I would totally tell them how it happened, I mean come on, that's funny! If he ran over your heel and the top of your foot hurts now, then yes, it's likely due to overcompensating. Is it the top on the big toe side that hurts? That's usually where I end up with overuse pain. Advil/Aleve, rest, and ice help. Usually takes a couple days to feel better. My bet would be that you're bruised, since it would take a LOT of force to break that particular bone, but I'm no doctor!

labro · October 2015

@jenjen047 The place we rented from actually recommended a white shirt over an ivory one. That's so weird about the menswear place you went to....although I know I've heard the exact same thing on TK before. Believe me, white shirts on ANYONE will definitely not make your dress appear dingy. Just go with what your FI wants and I think everything will be fine. FWIW my dress photographed very white even though it was "ivory". Our groomsmen wore white shirts with a charcoal gray vest/tie and a black tux and H wore a white shirt, ivory tie, and ivory vest, and everything looked wonderful! I actually kind of hate the look of ivory mens shirts....they are a true ivory (the ones I've seen anyway) and I think they look very yellow.

jenjen047 · October 2015

@labro - That's the same color scheme we are going with. I knew I loved you for a reason.

KeptInStitches · October 2015

@aurorarose41, I'm sorry you didn't have a good time at the game. Vibes that your foot isn't broken.

lavenderfields13 · October 2015

So MIL keeps asking me to go to this Christmas fair thing that I don't really want to go to. I feel bad but I don't like committing to things. It's not something I really want to do and I prefer to stay home on the weekends because I'm a recluse. She tries really hard to be close to me and my mom thinks I should do things with her to make her happy but we have nothing in common and I'm afraid if I say yes to things she asks me to do then she'll think our relationship is getting closer. I wish she would just let it be what it is. I feel mean.

I have no reason not do go to this thing, I just don't want to. What would you guys do?

beanbot2002 · October 2015

@ellis1228 Yeah but you get to tell people you're getting married THIS WEEKEND! Holy shit!

beanbot2002 · October 2015

@keptinstitches I'll have to take pics of them tonight and AW them tomorrow!

@swazzle only 11 till I squeeze you and we eat the foods of my peoples (I have legit laugh tears streaming right now)

labro · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 I mean, this woman is going to be a part of your life for a really really long time.... How often do you see her otherwise?

No is not a four letter word and it's ok to decline...but...I feel like if my MIL were closer than 12 hours away I would make an effort to do things with her every once in awhile too...and I say that even though I don't really desire to ever be BFF's with her. We're total opposites. So this is probably a really roundabout way of saying "You should probably hang out with her, unless you already see her all the time anyway, then go ahead and decline".

jenjen047 · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 - I agree with @labro. You don't need to see her all the time, but you should spend time with her occasionally. See if you can make plans for later that afternoon or evening, so that you can go to the fair with her, but have a definitie end time you need to leave by.

wink0erin · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 I would go, just because it seems like a nice thing to do for someone who clearly wants to be closer with you, and is now family. I mean, it's probably only a couple hours anyway? To be honest, "we have nothing in common" is kind of a lame excuse. You have your H in common, for one. And if you try to make the effort to get to know her maybe you'll find some other common ground. If you don't want to go, you don't have to.

minskat30 · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 - I agree with others like @labro - I would suck it up and try to get to know her better. I spend most of my vacation time traveling half-way across the world every year and a half to stay in my MIL's house in India...we don't speak the same language, we certainly don't share the same culture/religion/food preferences and I'm 99.99% sure being on a beach in Mexico would be much more relaxing. That said, we do share our love for H. That's enough for me to realize it is important to spend time with her with a smile on my face (well, most of the time pending a Dehli Belly situation).

Also, you never know if you might end up enjoying her time the more you spend time with her. It might seem like work at first but, like exercise, it has benefits, right?

KeptInStitches · October 2015

@lavenderfields13, I would go for the same reasons PP mentioned.

Blargh. I'm getting an office-mate - either work-study student and/or hiring computer. I hope they're not here much. I like my privacy.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 - I agree with all the PPs (especially @minskat30, because I like her exercise analogy!). I understand wanting to be a recluse, but I would go.

@KeptInStitches - Ugh...officemates. I hope that they are rarely in attendance and you get to continue to enjoy your privacy!

Edited because I forgot to include the whole reason I came on here in the first place: Y'all...I just advised a new history major for the first time! I feel like such a professor!

labro · October 2015

@KeptInStitches Time to order a screen privacy cover thing so you can keep chatting with us!

lavenderfields13 · October 2015

@labro I work with her and we see her and FIL at least once a month for dinner. They only live 10 minutes away. She's been trying to be close to me for a long time now and I just feel no connection with her. I didn't mind her when I first started seeing H but then I realized why he get so annoyed with her. She has told me she wants us to be good friends like she was with her MIL and I feel like you can't force friendships.

lavenderfields13 · October 2015

@minskat30 @jenjen047 @wink0erin @minskat30

I wrote back before I saw your responses, sorry. I've known her for almost 10 years. The connection is just not there for me and I feel like every time I say I'll do something with her she thinks it's a step to us being besties. Maybe I am a horrible person

wink0erin · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 That IS kind of annoying, but I'd still humor her every now and then, even though in my mind I'd be eye rolling.

minskat30 · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 - I don't know your dynamic with her at work (if you run in the same social circles, go out to lunch with her, etc.) and that may change my response but, honestly, dinner once a month (outside of holidays...not sure if you see them then too) averages out to be about 3 hours a month = 36 hours a year. That isn't a lot of time. You don't have to be best friends with her but I would just spend a little more time with her. Create boundaries? Absolutely! (i.e., I'll go to X event and spend Y hours there only). That said, so long as she isn't a wack job and/or so long as you don't fight all the time, does it really hurt you to spend a little more time with her? There are always things we'd rather do than spend time with our in-laws (well, most of us) but I really think of it as an investment or like exercise...the benefits are rarely visible in the short-term but are there in the long-run.

lavenderfields13 · October 2015

Well I guess I will think about just sucking it up and going even though I have zero desire to do this. I thought by now she'd just give up lol.

Thank you for your input ladies!

eta: @minskat30 I don't have lunch with her, etc because it's not something I want to do. She's not a wackjob, but drives me and H nuts.

Swazzle · October 2015

beanbot2002 said:

@keptinstitches I'll have to take pics of them tonight and AW them tomorrow!

@swazzle only 11 till I squeeze you and we eat the foods of my peoples (I have legit laugh tears streaming right now)

Me at the rehearsal:

Swazzle · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 - I honestly kind of cringed when I read your posts about your MIL. If your MIL trying to be friends with you and see you a couple times a month is the worst thing about her, you should probably count yourself lucky. I really don't get it. You can't stick it out for 2 hours one day to go to a Christmas event? I feel like it would be more awkward to decline all of her attempts to have a relationship with you and then have to see her at holidays, birthdays, etc.

@jenjen047 - My dress was ivory and my H and his GM all wore white and I don't think it made my dress look dingy at all.

lavenderfields13 · October 2015

I brought up the situation with H last night asking him if he thought he'd hang out with my dad if my parents lived here. He said I guess if your dad wanted to. I told him I feel like I'm a horrible person since I don't enjoy spending time with his mom and he said you're not a horrible person but it's rude. I then broke down by myself- I realize I get so bitter about not being able to see my own family. I want to spend time with my own mom so much and I think I take it out on his mom. I know it's not right. I just fucking miss my parents so much. I'll do this thing with MIL to make her happy though.

labro · October 2015

@lavenderfields13 I'm sorry.

I know how hard it is to live far away from your parents. I missed my mom desperately for all the years I lived in South Dakota and only saw her at Christmas and summer break. I really honestly think your MIL is trying to reach out to you not just to be "besties" but also because she wants to try to help with your loneliness. She isn't trying to replace your mom at all, but don't forget that she is also a mom, and she just wants to be there for you. I know you've said your MIL drives you and your H nuts but what are those qualities specifically that bring out those behaviors? Is it something you can rise above? I really think you need to make an effort to do this thing, and try to generate a more positive attitude about it. I don't want to be harsh, because I honestly feel your pain here regarding far-away parents, but it's also unfair to your MIL.

lavenderfields13 · October 2015

Thanks @labro. You're absolutely right about everything. She is trying to help with my loneliness and I'm pushing back. She can be really annoying and try too hard with me and H but it's more of my own issues that are the problem here. Hearing these things from people outside the situation have made me feel like I do need to not be so closed off with her. I do need to have my limitations but I will try harder.

Thanks for your advice guys and listening to me be a brat

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