Good morning!

MissKittyDanger · November 2017

@OliveOilsMom oh I swear the specifics in some cars is just so annoying lol!
I really hope Terry Crews pressed charges. Given the fact - like @short+sassy mentioned - he could have taken the person down easily but didn't, really makes an impact.

The sad part about sexual harassment and even rape cases, is that people rarely come forward about it. When they do, it's typically women. Men get affected too .... they just never come forward

VarunaTT · November 2017

Terry Crews has the additional intersection of being a large and physically imposing black man. If he had used his muscles to stop the person harassing him, we'd be talking about headlines that used the word "thug" to describe him. He's talked about that issue was well.

I'm exhausted. Trying to catch up at work is going okay, but jeez, I'm ready to actually be caught up.

Working on a costume for K that is going to be...well, it's fun, though I find myself clutching my pearls a bit.

K has come out as non-binary and using they/them/their pronouns and is playing more with genderqueer drag now. We've been seeing the word "qwing" and like it...more of a genderqueer/fluid/fuckery on stage. They are doing 3 numbers...full king body reverse burlesque (come out naked, get dressed), 2nd number is a dance number as a bearded qwing number in a damn hot body cage, body still packed, still bound, then 3rd number unbound,unpacked, still bearded fun dance number. Trying to work out makeup and costuming has been hard and fun.

MissKittyDanger · November 2017

@VarunaTT my coworker jokes that when you take time off, double it for catching up on what you missed while you were gone lol!

Btw the new costuming sounds like a lot of work but sounds like it'll be really fun in the end

MissKittyDanger · November 2017

Side note: I was looking up someone from Twitter who now has a column {XplodingUnicorn/James Breakwell if you're curious - he's funny} and found an updated list of most recent accusations.

https://www.indystar.com/story/news/2017/11/21/here-all-prominent-men-have-been-accused-sexual-misconduct-since-harvey-weinstein/881595001/

lyndausvi · November 2017

In what world does a reporter need to be able to lock their door from their desk? And who was the procurement person who ok'd that charge?

That among other things are being reported about Matt. No wonder he "accepted" his firing. Even he might have wondered what took so long for it to happen.

I have to wonder what was going through his mind when he interviewed other sexual predators?

short+sassy · November 2017

lyndausvi said:

In what world does a reporter need to be able to lock their door from their desk? And who was the procurement person who ok'd that charge?

That among other things are being reported about Matt. No wonder he "accepted" his firing. Even he might have wondered what took so long for it to happen.

I have to wonder what was going through his mind when he interviewed other sexual predators?

That would be interesting to know!

I was a sociology minor. One of my professors talked about work she'd done working with domestic abuse offenders.

She said that group counseling worked much better than individual counseling. In individual counseling, the men were more likely to feel "justified" and "make excuses" for what they did.

In group sessions, they'd be horrified by what the other men had done to their partners. And after a few sessions.... Yeeaahh..... It would start to click that they were also "THAT" guy.

short+sassy · November 2017

@OliveOilsMom, one of the back lights for my car is out. We switched that bulb out 3x, but it still didn't work. My H did more research and figured out the whole panel would need to be replaced, in order to make that light work. Something about a short circuit for that light, is actually why the light isn't working.

It's not the brake light. It's a small, minor light. So I'm just crossing my fingers I can indefinitely fly under the radar with it and pass my next brake tag inspection. Because it would be a few hundred bucks to replace that panel and I do not want to do that for something so unimportant!

short+sassy · November 2017

I know I'm preaching to the choir, but I just came across this excellent article as to why people doubt victims of sexual misconduct. And why some of those reasons are factually incorrect:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/she-didn’t-fight-back-she’s-posting-selfies-why-people-doubt-victims-of-sexual-misconduct/ar-BBFYgJ9?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=ientp

kimmiinthemitten · November 2017

lyndausvi said:

In what world does a reporter need to be able to lock their door from their desk? And who was the procurement person who ok'd that charge?

That among other things are being reported about Matt. No wonder he "accepted" his firing. Even he might have wondered what took so long for it to happen.

I have to wonder what was going through his mind when he interviewed other sexual predators?

So many questions. Like, with everything that came out, why are his female co anchors so shocked and sad? Especially since the Variety piece specifically says that one of them would talk about the rumors.

And did he think it wasn't coming out? Was he just waiting on baited breath for it to happen? Why wouldn't you come forward first and warn people? Wouldn't that make the story less punishing?

southernbelle0915 · November 2017

kimmiinthemitten said:

lyndausvi said:

In what world does a reporter need to be able to lock their door from their desk? And who was the procurement person who ok'd that charge?

That among other things are being reported about Matt. No wonder he "accepted" his firing. Even he might have wondered what took so long for it to happen.

I have to wonder what was going through his mind when he interviewed other sexual predators?
So many questions. Like, with everything that came out, why are his female co anchors so shocked and sad? Especially since the Variety piece specifically says that one of them would talk about the rumors.

And did he think it wasn't coming out? Was he just waiting on baited breath for it to happen? Why wouldn't you come forward first and warn people? Wouldn't that make the story less punishing?

I highly doubt they are actually shocked and sad. Even if they don't care an ounce about his behavior (although I'm sure they do), his vacancy gives them professional opportunity. So either way, they win.

I'm guessing they are acting shocked and sad because NBC (their bosses) probably didn't want to fire him. Obviously his behavior was well known by all who worked with and for him and NBC only decided to address it when something forced their hand.

lyndausvi · November 2017

kimmiinthemitten said:

lyndausvi said:

In what world does a reporter need to be able to lock their door from their desk? And who was the procurement person who ok'd that charge?

That among other things are being reported about Matt. No wonder he "accepted" his firing. Even he might have wondered what took so long for it to happen.

I have to wonder what was going through his mind when he interviewed other sexual predators?

So many questions. Like, with everything that came out, why are his female co anchors so shocked and sad? Especially since the Variety piece specifically says that one of them would talk about the rumors.

And did he think it wasn't coming out? Was he just waiting on baited breath for it to happen? Why wouldn't you come forward first and warn people? Wouldn't that make the story less punishing?

I equate it to every murder still has a mother. Meaning, everyone has different relationships with people.

Matt might have been appropriate with them, so they would look at him in a different light than someone who he abused. People are often in denial about things even when hearing rumors.

Plus they only told the staff minutes before going on the air. Which I think was BS. They had zero time to process anything. I personally think being sad and heartbroken is a normal first reaction when you find out someone close to you did something horrible. It's part of the process. The fact they had to be on live TV moments after finding out means they had to show those emotions to the world. Had they found out the night before I think we would have seen different emotions.

Another question I have is who was this nurse someone was taken to by Matt's assistant? Aren't nurses mandatory reporters on abuse? I can see how sex toys might not raise major flags, but a woman having to be taken to a nurse by an assistant? WTF???

knottie6fe2cc5434160aa2 · November 2017

One of the best books I've ever read on the topic is Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. He quite literally wrote the book on doing therapy with male abusers and it's a fascinating read.
I'd strongly recommend it to anyone who is interested in what's going on in these dudes' heads.

banana468 · November 2017

lyndausvi said:

kimmiinthemitten said:

lyndausvi said:

In what world does a reporter need to be able to lock their door from their desk? And who was the procurement person who ok'd that charge?

That among other things are being reported about Matt. No wonder he "accepted" his firing. Even he might have wondered what took so long for it to happen.

I have to wonder what was going through his mind when he interviewed other sexual predators?

So many questions. Like, with everything that came out, why are his female co anchors so shocked and sad? Especially since the Variety piece specifically says that one of them would talk about the rumors.

And did he think it wasn't coming out? Was he just waiting on baited breath for it to happen? Why wouldn't you come forward first and warn people? Wouldn't that make the story less punishing?

I equate it to every murder still has a mother. Meaning, everyone has different relationships with people.

Matt might have been appropriate with them, so they would look at him in a different light than someone who he abused. People are often in denial about things even when hearing rumors.

Plus they only told the staff minutes before going on the air. Which I think was BS. They had zero time to process anything. I personally think being sad and heartbroken is a normal first reaction when you find out someone close to you did something horrible. It's part of the process. The fact they had to be on live TV moments after finding out means they had to show those emotions to the world. Had they found out the night before I think we would have seen different emotions.

Another question I have is who was this nurse someone was taken to by Matt's assistant? Aren't nurses mandatory reporters on abuse? I can see how sex toys might not raise major flags, but a woman having to be taken to a nurse by an assistant? WTF???

I think NBC knew exactly what they were doing by putting two women on the air to read the statement and have them find out just before going on air. At the end of the day NBC is a business with an image and putting Savannah and Hoda on were sympathetic faces to place with this and that's the image now associated with his termination. We see their vulnerability in this as how NBC is vulnerable. I don't believe it for a minute but I think they did a great job in journalistic theater with that one.

I hear the door lock button was also at places like CNN and he wasn't the only one with it? This from watching a clip from The View today.

Jen4948 · November 2017

Still no job offer and now running out of money.

I have jury duty tomorrow, so I'm not even sure how available I can be to look for a job. Jury duty pay in Houston is so tiny that I'm going to starve if I'm selected!

As far as Matt Lauer is concerned, good riddance. But that it comes so suddenly is shocking. I keep wondering every day now who the next person to be accused and fired or asked to resign will be.

kimmiinthemitten · November 2017

lyndausvi said:
I equate it to every murder still has a mother. Meaning, everyone has different relationships with people.

Matt might have been appropriate with them, so they would look at him in a different light than someone who he abused. People are often in denial about things even when hearing rumors.

Plus they only told the staff minutes before going on the air. Which I think was BS. They had zero time to process anything. I personally think being sad and heartbroken is a normal first reaction when you find out someone close to you did something horrible. It's part of the process. The fact they had to be on live TV moments after finding out means they had to show those emotions to the world. Had they found out the night before I think we would have seen different emotions.

Another question I have is who was this nurse someone was taken to by Matt's assistant? Aren't nurses mandatory reporters on abuse? I can see how sex toys might not raise major flags, but a woman having to be taken to a nurse by an assistant? WTF???

The NY Times is reporting that Savannah and Hoda learned at 4am, the rest of the staff learned at 6:49 am.

However, I do agree with the rest of your statement. As the sibling of an addict, I often have to grapple with the fact that the person I knew to be kind and funny and loving has also done some awful things that hurt people. Myself included.

At the same time, Kathy Lee's whole I still love him and texted him to say so and I pray the Lord will help him find his way made me sick. Sure you can love someone who does awful things, but I don't think that would be my first reaction after learning something like this. Talk about enabling!

I missed the nurse story...what happened there?

lyndausvi · November 2017

@kimmiinthemitten said:

lyndausvi said:
I equate it to every murder still has a mother. Meaning, everyone has different relationships with people.

Matt might have been appropriate with them, so they would look at him in a different light than someone who he abused. People are often in denial about things even when hearing rumors.

Plus they only told the staff minutes before going on the air. Which I think was BS. They had zero time to process anything. I personally think being sad and heartbroken is a normal first reaction when you find out someone close to you did something horrible. It's part of the process. The fact they had to be on live TV moments after finding out means they had to show those emotions to the world. Had they found out the night before I think we would have seen different emotions.

Another question I have is who was this nurse someone was taken to by Matt's assistant? Aren't nurses mandatory reporters on abuse? I can see how sex toys might not raise major flags, but a woman having to be taken to a nurse by an assistant? WTF???

The NY Times is reporting that Savannah and Hoda learned at 4am, the rest of the staff learned at 6:49 am.

However, I do agree with the rest of your statement. As the sibling of an addict, I often have to grapple with the fact that the person I knew to be kind and funny and loving has also done some awful things that hurt people. Myself included.

At the same time, Kathy Lee's whole I still love him and texted him to say so and I pray the Lord will help him find his way made me sick. Sure you can love someone who does awful things, but I don't think that would be my first reaction after learning something like this. Talk about enabling!

I missed the nurse story...what happened there?

KLG is well, KLG. Her response is exactly what I would expect from her based on her history.

There is a report that Matt sex a married staffer in his office to the point where she passed out and had to be taken to a nurse by his assistant. WTF?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5130213/Matt-Lauer-flashed-penis-woman-bought-employee-sex-toy.html

kimmiinthemitten · November 2017

Found it:

In 2001, the woman said, Mr. Lauer, who is married, asked her to his office to discuss a story during a workday. When she sat down, she said, he locked the door, which he could do by pressing a button while sitting at his desk. (People who worked at NBC said the button was a regular security measure installed for high-profile employees.)

The woman said Mr. Lauer asked her to unbutton her blouse, which she did. She said the anchor then stepped out from behind his desk, pulled down her pants, bent her over a chair and had intercourse with her. At some point, she said, she passed out with her pants pulled halfway down. She woke up on the floor of his office, and Mr. Lauer had his assistant take her to a nurse.

The woman told The Times that Mr. Lauer never made an advance toward her again and never mentioned what occurred in his office. She said she did not report the episode to NBC at the time because she believed she should have done more to stop Mr. Lauer. She left the network about a year later.

On Wednesday, the episode in Mr. Lauer’s office was reported to NBC News after the woman told her then-supervisor, who still works at the network. The woman said an NBC human resources representative had since contacted her.

--

The lock feature does make sense when you think of it for security purposes, especially if a crazy person gets into the building or something.

mrsconn23 · December 2017

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/11/30/opinion/im-not-ready-for-the-redemption-of-men.html?smid=tw-share&mtrref=t.co&assetType=opinion&referer=https://www.themarysue.com/things-we-saw-today-amber-tamblyn-redemption-of-men/

kimmiinthemitten · December 2017

mrsconn23 said:

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/11/30/opinion/im-not-ready-for-the-redemption-of-men.html?smid=tw-share&mtrref=t.co&assetType=opinion&referer=https://www.themarysue.com/things-we-saw-today-amber-tamblyn-redemption-of-men/

Best paragraph/line of the piece:

Throughout history, women haven’t been in a position to come forward with their stories and be taken seriously as a rule. That’s the reason we sometimes wait 20 years to report something — harassment, assault — if we say anything at all. We haven’t been silent because we forgot or made our stories up. We’ve been silent because we’ve been silenced.

Good morning!

Re: Good morning!

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