Ceremony and Vow Ideas
MRSreadcomicbooks
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Anyone else too SCARED to write/read vows?
MRSreadcomicbooks
member
I am. We opted to have our commissioner just do the shortest ceremony possible (with us having to say as little as possible) because I'm terrified of getting "stage fright" in front of my friends/family. I occasionally start thinking I should really do my own vows, so everyone knows just how much I love Tyler and why... but then I run the risk of chickening out altogether and just... having a mental breakdown. Okay, I do imagine the worst-case scenarios, but it's not exactly out of the realm of possibilities!
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Re: Anyone else too SCARED to write/read vows?
You could always write your fiance a letter for him to read that day. In it you could write all the reasons you love him and be as personal as you want.
His aunt officiated our wedding. She suggested that she would whisper them to us, and we would say them aloud to each other. That way we'd be able to hold eye contact and really have that connection to the words we were saying. It was perfect. I didn't know if I'd like it at first, but I'm glad we did it that way. And we only had about 60 guests so it was pretty intimate.
@artbyallie Either way, I'm not saying more than the law requires me too - it would be much to hard for me speak in front of 85 people (whether they're family or not).
@thejucheidea ;We've been lucky enough to find the BEST commissioner. She won't "force" us to include things we don't think are relevant to us. She's 100% there to customize everything she can possible customize. The day we hired her she emailed us 22 attachments of example ceremonies. I have yet to actually read through them, but in the end we'll have the perfect ceremony!
@fre3doms ; That's exactly what I was thinking - we could have a "private" ceremony with just the two of us to read what we've written to each other maybe after our real ceremony.
I think two things helped: (1) you are "on stage" and the center of attention, so things are just different and weird and surreal. Your feelings are different than you would expect (I had heard this before and it is true). (2) We had our vows typed onto a notecard, and focusing on the words that I was reading distracted me from feeling nervous or teary.
Writing them was hard (I recommend wine), but reading them was totally fine!
I know it's trendy elsewhere, but no one in our circle has done a wine box ceremony before. I'm considering something like that because it would let us still exchange something personal without public embarrassment and pressure, you know?
@rvg22 I think I might write them out just in case, but explain to our commissioner that if I chicken out, that's the way it'll be and we can exchange letters with each other later. Back up plans are good right?
@kitty8403 Sounds like us! Actually my fiance isn't afraid to look silly, or even "less manly" by showing his emotions (baby talk and everything) but I'm less comfortable with it - I've probably only kissed him in front of my parents five or six times! That's just how I am. I've had to explain to him on more than one occasion that it doesn't mean I'm embarassed by him or anything, I'm not just comfortable showing that much of myself in front of anyone other than him.
a solemn promise or assertion; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition
That said, maybe you should have a private ceremony if you are that scared.
@naymerica Huh? How is that even relevant? Just because I'm afraid of speaking in front of a room doesn't mean I'm a child. Yowza.
@emmyg65 Thanks... like, really? I'm not a child - I have normal fears! I'm liking the idea of writing a letter to each other to read (or share) in private. Something we can keep forever too.