Monday.

phira

Monday sucks. BOOO MONDAY.

Stiiiiiill grading these exams. My undergrads did terribly. Like, really badly. We worked so fucking hard to word all the questions so that they weren't confusing, and the end result? Students clearly did not study properly for the exam. UGH.

And then I had to give a presentation in the course I'm taking that I hate. It's an upper level course for undergrads, so the students in there are really smart, but I wish the professor would just let me present on my own. It's really stressful trying to organize meetings to prepare the presentation, and it would take me not-much-longer to prep a whole paper presentation on my own than it is to prepare 1/4th of one with 3 other people.

Anyway:

1) I am a huge grinch. I freely admit to my grinchitude. I am Jewish and until this past year, Christmas for me has always been, "No one wants to hang out tonight or tomorrow night and I'm bored!" and/or "Chinese food + movie on the 24th, dinner at my uncle's house on the 25th, because we have nothing else to do." I feel like Christmas stuff should be limited to the month of December (or even 2 weeks before Christmas), and no Christmas music should be played on the radio because AHHGHIOGHO drives me nuts!

Short version: I am a huge grinchy grinch

2) I went dress shopping yesterday, BUT we didn't take any pictures Basically, we went to an evening gown boutique and I tried on two dresses, neither of which is the dress I wanted (which the store didn't have). First dress was to make sure I liked the shape of the dream dress, and the second one was to make sure I liked all the bling-bling (and to see what size I am in this designer). Then, I ordered the dress I originally wanted. So I have NOT tried on this dress.

HERE is the second dress I tried on (I cannot find the first one, I don't even remember the designer)

And HERE is the dress I ordered! It will arrive in 2-3 months.

[Deleted User]

@phira - holy GORGEOUSNESS!!  I love it!!

KateJ16

@phira - love it! I was thinking you were the one I remembered who wanted a blue gown.  I think that's gorgeous!

Hummingbird125

@phira - it's absolutely gorgeous! 

audrewuh

@phira - beautiful!! Is this a wedding gown? (forgive me being out of the loop for a while)

Elle1036

Sakalicious said:

we've been murrrrrrried for 3 years (on Wednesday)...woot!

I've known you since before you were married. Was that really three years ago?!

phira

audrewuh said:

@phira - beautiful!! Is this a wedding gown? (forgive me being out of the loop for a while)

Yep! I wanted to wear navy blue and wasn't totally happy with bridesmaids dress styles ... and then I found that dress and my jaw kind of dropped somewhere on the floor.

Thanks ladies

Sakalicious

Elle1036 said:

Sakalicious said:

we've been murrrrrrried for 3 years (on Wednesday)...woot!

I've known you since before you were married. Was that really three years ago?!

Man, it has been a long time.  *Counts from 2010*...yup, three years.

Sakalicious

@phira that dress is absolutely gorgeous! 

Shiroyasha

I'm glad I'm not the only one having a case of the Mondays.

I ended up finishing up inventory early this morning (215 instead of 245) and I'm disappointed I lost half an hour of work I could have used.  I'm now so used to getting up early and going to bed late that last night threw me all off.  

I like the holidays, but I really wish we could wait until after Thanksgiving to have stuff up. 

The first thing BF did when he (finally) woke up was lecture me about not going to my assessment test at the local community college.  There are tests almost every day.  What a way to start the day there, dude.

Holy crap @phira! That dress is absolutely stunning! 

CLoGreenEyes

@phira, holy smokes, the one you ordered is gorgeous! I love that one! Also, I covet the green dress.

Sounds like the Mondays started early for some folks. Sorry everybody is so cranky/sad/not feeling too hot today in general! 

My weekend and Monday were the suck too. First, clinical was horrible. Our instructor has been getting kind of lax and letting us have "study days" instead of going on the floor - which was great the week before our exam, but REALLY BAD because we actually need the experience. So I am not very confident in my skills right now. I definitely have a looooong list of things I need to practice over winter break so I am prepared for next semester, because I am definitely not up to where I should be in terms of knowledge and some fairly basic skills.

Also, BF (? don't even know what to call him right now, TBH) and I are in a horrible place right now. I am so confused about our relationship for a whole buncha reasons and have been for a while (haven't posted much about it because this is the internet 'n stuff, and also because there is a lot of history and complicating factors and I just have no idea where to begin sorting it out. Just suffice it to say: there are problems. We love each other and care about each other, but I'm finding that love is sooooo not enough sometimes). Anyway, this weekend I kind of flipped out (not in a mean way, an emotional way) and told him I was unsure about everything and that maybe we need to take a step back and really reconsider if we should be together. Obviously that sucks and was very hurtful to him. We are going to get together and discuss at the end of the week when we both cool off, but I'm just exhausted and freaked out, and I'm sure he is too. I wish there was a fair way to just put our relationship on pause while I finish school and then do whatever work and decision-making we need to do, but I can't ask for that - that's nine months of hiatus with no promises or anything. So yeah.

I have definitely been thankful for my leftover Halloween candy this weekend. Thanks for letting me throw that out there, ladies.

phira

@Amapola14 definitely here if you need to decompress or vent or have the tl;dr kind of post you need to have

Also the green dress was KIND of amazing. One of the consultants didn't know about the blue dress and was like, "THIS NEEDS TO BE IN YOUR WARDROBE." I'd highly recommend it to, like, anyone.

Blackbird230

@phira, rock that blue! It's going to look wonderful on you!!!!

@Amapola14, *hugs* you guys will figure it out. 

leia1979

beanbot2002 said:

[snip]

 ETA: This might get me shot, but I was super excited that my starbucks came in a holiday cup yesterday.

Except it makes the cost of my peppermint hot chocolate go up 50 cents. Seriously, it was $3.25 last week and $3.75 today. I need to break the habit.

I did my first webcast this morning. It went pretty well, but I was alarmed that I was done after 45 minutes. I thought it would take an hour. I have one more to do tonight, but because of a daylight savings time snafu, it's at 7pm instead of the originally planned 8pm. So I get to be done an hour early. Yay! 

I'm in denial that it's November. It's looking very unlikely that I will meet my goal of being in a house by Christmas. When I made that goal back in January, it seemed totally achievable. What a sucker!

audrewuh

@amapola14 a week is a really long time. Take every minute of it and focus on you. Pamper yourself a wee bit and take time to ride emotional roller coasters. We're here for you if you need a good rant. 

CLoGreenEyes

Thanks @phira, @Kait, and @audrewuh. This is a busy week in school, so hopefully I will have a little time to get back in touch with myself and figure out what I need and want from him right now. There have been issues for a while, I think, but I was always able to be patient with them and, unfortunately, tolerate them more than I should have. Now that things are crazy, I can't do that anymore - I'm losing my sanity just trying. It's good to have things out in the open, but I'm scared of what it means to actually face them now. *Sigh*

audrewuh

@amapola14, can I suggest talking to a therapist? Maybe one who specializes in relationships? I know when H and I were having issues before we got married, I went and talked to someone and it helped tremendously. Really gave me the perspective that I needed and some talking points to start beneficial conversations with H. 

Also, journaling. I use evernote and just write away whenever I'm feeling lots of feels. And it's all stream of consciousness.

CLoGreenEyes

@audrewuh, believe me, I am all-aboard the therapy train! Haha, I am already in individual counseling, and BF really wants to pursue couples counseling after this weekend. I'm not opposed to that, but I just want to wait until winter break when I have some breathing room and some clarity. Journaling does help, I do a lot of that too, but my mind is so torn between school and this relationship that I am basically sucking at both right now. I was getting decent grades up until today (just found out I barely passed my exam this morning with a high C), and now I'm worried about that on top of things with BF. Sooooo I just feel bad. And guilty. And like I don't know what I'm doing with my life in any way. I just feel crazy.

ETA: @bubbles053009, thank you.

CLoGreenEyes

Also, @LivLeighton, I forgot to reply to your post before, but count me in the chorus of people that thinks you are awesome and hopes you KNOW that you are! I send you hugs and vibes for happier feelings.

CLoGreenEyes

Ha! OMG, the second one is crackin' me up. Silly Boston terrier!

Shiroyasha

@Amapola14  I hope you get everything worked out.  @audrewuh is wise and her advice is spot on.

500days

@amapola14, *hugs* I know you have opened up in the past about your relationship, and you are definitely doing all of the right things. I admire you for reaching out here. There are so many different women, from all over, with objective views on here that will listen, be kind, be honest and be there for you- myself included. Everyone has gone through a time when they have felt disconnected from their SO. You will be okay, I promise.

@livleighton *hugs* to you as well. You have such a full plate and I admire your dedication to everything that you do. It shows that you take pride in everything that you do. Just remember to always enjoy the time you do spend with B and your furbabies. It sounds like you have a great support system here and IRL. Just like amapola, I know you will be okay- I promise.

Regarding the "Marriage Isn't For You" blog, I read it and I like the sentiment (many qualms though)---but it's coming from a Mormon perspective. I don't know if any of you are Mormon, but please know that is where the author is coming from as far as background goes.

audrewuh

@amapola14, just remember to keep breathing. I'm glad you've got a counselor to talk to and I encourage you to spend a few minutes journaling when you get a second. I'm usually best at it after a bottle of wine and some good junk tv. But really, you're a strong, smart, independent female and I have confidence that you'll make it through school AND this personal struggle, because that's what we do. You've got our love!

@500days, I was unaware it was written from a Mormon perspective. I figured it had some kind of religious slant to it, but I still wasn't sure which perspective it was coming from. The article makes a lot more sense now. I went to a bible study last night where we talked about marriage (me being the only person even in a relationship) and the first thing that got brought up was that article. It was... interesting.