Customs and Traditions

Fiance(e) seeing the dress?

My partner and I are not very superstitious (unless baseball is involved). He saw pictures of dresses I was interested in, and he came with me when I went to a boutique to try on dresses. We ordered my dress and it came in today, and he came with me to pick it up, so he's seen the dress on the hanger.

We got home later today after visiting my mom, and as I went to hang my dress up, I realized that my mom hadn't taken a picture of it. This got me and my guy discussing whether or not he wanted to see me in the dress before the wedding, which is in a year.

I wanted to know what you all think of seeing your fiance(e) in their wedding attire before the wedding. I haven't seen him in his suit, although this tradition seems to be more like ... if you're a bride, your partner can't see you in your dress till the wedding.

Are you not being seen in your dress till the wedding? If you're already married, did you follow or break this tradition? I know it's about what the two of us want, but it's hard to really decide when there's a lot of pressure not to have him see me in the dress yet.
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Re: Fiance(e) seeing the dress?

  • He saw elements of my outfit individually (dress, hairdo, makeup), but not all together until our wedding day. I also saw his outfit. We're not superstitious, so it wasn't a big deal.
    angelafincherfloriza28candylove143misscoffeeplease
  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    @emmyg65 Did he see you wearing the dress? My partner's already seen the dress itself.
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    Alliemcdowell
  • Yep! I was so excited after I picked it up from the tailor. I've never been good with surprises! :) It didn't make a difference on our wedding day--we still had a super meaningful first look.
    jroy22
  • DH absolutely did not want to see any item I was wearing prior to the ceremony.  We did see each other the morning of the wedding.  He picked me up at my place and drove me to my MOH hotel room for hair and makeup.  I had to call him and warn him I was arriving at the church so he wouldn't see the veil as I was walking in, I put the dress on at the church.
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  • H did not want to see my dress at all until I walked down the aisle. We didn't even see each other til then, actually, since we slept in two different houses and got ready with our respective attendants. I had seen his suit before, since it was one he already owned.
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    japrincess24
  • My fiancé saw me in the dress before I purchased it. He also saw my hair and makeup after my trial. But it'll be a whole different experience seeing me in the dress with the hair and makeup and walking down the aisle all at once.
    mizangiLisaA2014
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario
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    Ugh.  quote boxes suck.

    No way is he seeing me in the dress.  I want it to be a surprise and I want him to be taken aback (in a good way) by the sight of me walking down the aisle towards him.  
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    CLI242009Sadie57japrincess24
  • I've already seen my fiance's suit---it's a custom made one. He wore it last year when we went to my best friend's wedding when I was a bridesmaid.

    He has not seen my dress. I told him he could probably guess the style. I want it to be a surprise for him and I think he prefers it that way too.

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  • I never actually tried the dress on for him in person, but he saw some pictures of me in the dress from my dress fittings and saw my dress in person when I got it home.  It was never a big deal for us to keep it secret.  We got ready together and he zipped up my dress for me.  We had a lovely morning just the two of us getting ready on our wedding day.

    I went with him to pick out his tux and the other men's tuxes.  It was fun.  

    There were no secrets between us as far as attire and it didn't take away from anything.  He still got really emotional when I walked down the aisle after knowing exactly what my dress looked like, helping me get ready, and taking pictures before the ceremony. 
    eabertossi
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    My husband was adamant about not seeing anything I was wearing before the wedding, including my jewelry and shoes. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Sadie57
  • AddieL73 said:
    My husband was adamant about not seeing anything I was wearing before the wedding, including my jewelry and shoes. 


    Same here. This really isn't to be bitchy, but seems that he's seen you try it on in the store and the actual dress on the hanger, I guess I don't see the point in waiting. Does he even want to see it? I would put in in the closet and forget about it.

  • He has asked me a couple of times what style dress I think I might get (I haven't gone to even try any on yet, as I'm still over a year out and my weight fluctuates a lot), but we all know that a lot of times we don't end up with what we are envisioning.

    So I've given him an idea of what style I like right now, but when it comes down to it, he will not even be seeing pictures of what the final dress is, let alone seeing me in it. Not because I'm superstitious, but because I want the first time that he has any idea of what I'll look like as a bride to be as I'm walking down the aisle toward him.
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  • My FI knows that my dress is white. Other than that, I don't think he's really seen it. Hanging up or anything. I've seen pictures of the tuxedo he's going to rent, but haven't actually seen it on him. We are going to have a first look before the ceremony though, so he'll see it then. We're walking each other down the isle since neither of us are super traditional or close to our parents.
  • My fiance has seen my shoes and knows about my dress, but he's never seen it. And he doesn't want to. In fact, I've told him details about the dress and he always responds, "Now I know what you'll look like!!!". Hardly, there are hundreds of white, strapless fit and flare wedding dresses ;).

    I have never seen FI's suit, only his shoes and tie. He doesn't want me to see the suit either.

    So we are keeping it that we won't see ourselves dressed up till the day of. 
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona
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    FI went with me when I bought my shoes.  I won't let him see the dress at all though until I'm walking down the aisle... although, I need to find somewhere to put dress so he doesn't snoop before hand.  I also don't want him to see my jewelry or anything else until wedding day.  He will still see me on wedding morning (we plan to stay in same hotel room night before), but won't see the final product until the ceremony.  Although, with the way our wedding is set up, I'm not sure I can avoid him seeing my completed hair & makeup on the way to the venue... it would definitely make things more difficult, so I'm not sure its worth even trying to conceal it.  But, I'm sure even seeing the hair & makeup won't compare to the finished package and I expect he'll still be breathless when I walk down the aisle. 

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  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    AddieL73 said:
    My husband was adamant about not seeing anything I was wearing before the wedding, including my jewelry and shoes. 


    Same here. This really isn't to be bitchy, but seems that he's seen you try it on in the store and the actual dress on the hanger, I guess I don't see the point in waiting. Does he even want to see it? I would put in in the closet and forget about it.
    He hasn't seen me in the dress, even when I was trying it on in the store.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    He won't see my dress before the ceremony.

    PrettyGirlLostdoeydo
  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs
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    FI has seen me in my dress, because I bought it 2 years out almost (it was being discontinued and THE dress) I have had some fluctuation in my weight so when I lost it again I tried it on to be sure it fit again. He is the only one at home to help me with it. I think it will be a different effect with my make up and hair all done.
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  • I let mine go through catalogs to get an idea of what he likes. I'm going to go when we figure out tuxes since all the guys have to be coordinated, but he won't see my dress. I don't think he gives a darn about shoes, etc though.
  • I didn't care at all if he saw it before the wedding, but DH didn't want to see my dress, me in my dress, to know what my dress was like, etc. He didn't even want to see the garment bag because he didn't want to know if it was poofy or not. He wanted it to be a complete surprise.

    I wanted to do a first look so we could attend cocktail hour (instead of photos during that time), but this was really important to him so I compromised.
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    PrettyGirlLostTyslady
  • melbelleupmelbelleup
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
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    edited November 2013
    My FI refuses to see my dress until the day of. We are doing a first look though

    ETA: He has seen the back of my dress on me in a picture, but in the wrong color and not in detail.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • No ... I like the whole surprise aspect. 
    PrettyGirlLostdoeydo
  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    DH knew how special I felt in my wedding dress, so whenever I would get super discouraged or upset about something, he would zip me into my wedding dress to make me feel better.  It always worked.  But neither of us really cared if he saw me in it before the wedding.

    That is SO sweet!!
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  • I don't particularly care (I doubt my fiance seeing my dress will tear my marriage asunder) but he doesn't want to see it. Rather, he's seen photos of it, but he hasn't seen it on me.
  • I showed him a picture of my dress on the model.  I wanted to show him pictures of me in it, but he wants to wait until the day of.  I honestly don't think it matters either way because he's totally fashion oblivious and wouldn't remember a thing about it.
  • jenniferursjenniferurs
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    edited November 2013

    I feel like there's just a lot more sentimental value of saving the surprise for the very end. Personally, one of my favorite parts to watch at a wedding is seeing the groom's face when he's getting his first glance at his bride. It doesn't have to be about tradition or superstition, I think it's really romantic. But in the end, what really matters is what you and your FI want. (:

    That's a fair point, but for us, the sentimentality involved in that moment has less to do with what I'll be wearing and whether or not he's seen it before and more to do with the fact that his soon-to-be wife is walking down the aisle, the end of which marks the spot where we're to be married.

    Maybe others are different, but I just don't think my fiancé will be any less sentimental, simply because he's seen my wardrobe beforehand. For us, the moment will be every bit as special/romantic/awe-inducing, because it's not about what we're wearing in that moment, but rather the enormity of what we're doing.
    SKPM
  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    I feel like there's just a lot more sentimental value of saving the surprise for the very end. Personally, one of my favorite parts to watch at a wedding is seeing the groom's face when he's getting his first glance at his bride. It doesn't have to be about tradition or superstition, I think it's really romantic. But in the end, what really matters is what you and your FI want. (:
    That's a fair point, but for us, the sentimentality involved in that moment has less to do with what I'll be wearing and whether or not he's seen it before and more to do with the fact that his soon-to-be wife is walking down the aisle, the end of which marks the spot where we're to be married. Maybe others are different, but I just don't think my fiancé will be any less sentimental, simply because he's seen my wardrobe beforehand. For us, the moment will be every bit as special/romantic/awe-inducing, because it's not about what we're wearing in that moment, but rather the enormity of what we're doing.
    Well, and it's pretty heteronormative, ya know? That's why I noted that you don't often hear stuff like, "You can't see the groom in his suit before the wedding!" Hell, my guy was supposed to wear the same suit for our wedding to another wedding this past fall.

    Originally, my partner wanted the huge emotional moment of seeing me walk down the aisle, but after talking about photos with our newly booked photographer, we've decided to do a first look anyway. It sort of comes back to the idea that he's my person, and it feels weird that for such an important day of our lives and our relationship, we have to stay separated.

    Now that we're going to do a first look, we'll see if he's still uncomfortable seeing me in the dress. It just feels so weird not having his opinion on something so big!
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    nobodysaidyesafox007jazzidabear
  • My now-DH, along with some of our children, went with me when I tried on dresses.  I had already picked out the ones I wanted to try on but I wanted everyone's input, including his.  
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  • We'll be doing photos before the ceremony, so he'll see me in the dress then, but probably not before the day-of. 
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