Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Fiance(e) seeing the dress?


Re: Fiance(e) seeing the dress?

  • mizangimizangi member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited November 2013
    I read something online that said one theory on why a groom is not supposed to see his bride before the wedding dates back to arranged marriages: they didn't want the groom to back out if the bride wasn't up to his standards!  Truth or not, I decided to show my fiance a picture of me in my dress to make sure he liked it.  After all, I want to look beautiful for HIM!  I don't think it will take away from the day-of emotions whatsoever.

  • Didn't he see you in it when you tried it on?  If he's already seen you in it it's not much of a surprise anymore.
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @lgiorno No, he did not see me try on the dress. He's just seen it on the hanger.
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  • lgiornolgiorno member
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited November 2013
    Sorry, I was slightly confused.  I had my husband blindfoled the day of the wedding.  We got the photographer, and then he saw me before the ceremony and we got it on film.  We had family photos before the ceremony which made our timeline for the day go smoother.  My photographer loved the idea!  To be honest even though your fiancee saw the dress he probably won't remember other than it was long, white, and had beads on it.  The tradition of not seeing the bride came about because the couple usually didn't know each other before the wedding.  The parents kept the couple apart to keep them from backing out if the wedding.  Best of luck.  Which ever way you choose, won't be wrong.

  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @lgiorno Actually, he's seen photos of it enough times to remember what it looks like (and he got lots of looks at it while we were cleaning today--he was in charge of the closet it was in). And it's not white :)
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  • My fiancé accidently walked up on a conversation where I was describing my dress to one of my bridesmaids, and that alone made me freak out! haha! I think it's more of a personal decision, but as for me, I am forbidding him to see the dress or any elements of my outfit until the day of!
  • I have a long way to go until my wedding, but my parents were way ahead of their time with the 'first look' trend and had their pictures taken before the ceremony and they just celebrated 25 years together this year! So, I think, like many people have posted, that you should just do whats right for you as a couple and not worry about traditions. 
  • We're not superstitious, he just agreed with me that he wants it to be a surprise.  My dad won't even see it til he "picks me up" to walk me down the aisle.  I like surprises though :)
  • I don't think i'm going to let my fiance see the dress. I know both of us being female makes the temptation even stronger because she REALLY wants an opinion and such.. but all i can imagine is those "first look" photos.. i want them to be authentic
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  • He has not seen the dress and I do not plan on him seeing it until I am walking down the aisle!!

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  • Whether or not he see's you all done up before the ceremony, he's still going to be excited and taken aback in a good way when you're walking down the aisle. :) 

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  • My Fiance is absolutely NOT seeing the dress before the ceremony but its not about superstition for us I'm confident our marriage will be blessed I'm just really big on surprises. I also feel like my fiance's opinion on my dress is the most important opinion so it has been a bit of a struggle for me but I'm sticking with keeping it a secret. As big as I am on surprise and novelty I feel that its only right that the most important dress ill wear is kept secret for now but thats just my personality. The dress is perfect and I think he will love it. I think I will see him in his suit prior and he is a fan of this idea because "I'm the fashionista" (his words). All that being said I really feel like you should go with what u are comfortable and happy with not what people are pressuring u to do. It would feel strange for me to have a first look as a result of being pressured bc its not what i envisioned and the surprise is important to me. It may feel strange for you to keep the dress hush hush bc others say you should I like @bluebirdMB story about getting ready together the morning of the wedding that is beautiful and its what worked for them
    Good Luck hun
  • jaghdr28jaghdr28 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited November 2013
    My fiancé has seen a picture of my dress before it became my dress, when I was still in the looking stages. He saw other pictures of dresses that I liked but doesn't know what dress I actually went with. I told him that he can't see it until our wedding day but I said that I want to be there when he gets his tux... for me its more of a paranoid thing. I'm afraid he won't get all the parts or the right color vest/tie if I'm not there, because he nor any of his groomsmen are big on suits especially tuxes. In one sense, I can't wait for him to see me in my dress, but in another, I want him to be surprised. As a side story, the back and train of my dress is royal blue and that was the picture he saw at first except the picture was of the same dress only with a red back and train. He made a comment about how much it cost because the back of it was a different color. Several weeks later, after I tried on and started paying for my dress, he started watching a tv show on Netflix where the two main characters got married, and the girl in the show's dress looked almost exactly like mine except the back of hers was purple. He said, " Hey, that looks like that one dress you showed me. And it probably cost $9000." I said that it wasn't nearly that much and realized I better shut up before I gave too much away. I thought it was funny that he'd said that though. Anyway, regardless of whether or not you want to see each other in your outfits, the fact that at the end of the day, you are married is what matters. Good luck!!
  • naymericanaymerica member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited November 2013
    I don't think my fiance waiting to see my dress (or know anything about it other than it's not a poofy princess ballgown) has anything to do with "what we'll be wearing" and everything to do with the fact that we're getting married! I think it's incredibly romantic to wait, and I have several other family members who don't want to see what my dress looks like either.  The idea isn't that he's going to see my dress for the first time, it's that he'll see me as his bride moreso than he ever could have imagined until that moment.
  • rajahmdrajahmd Galifrey member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    DH saw my dress plenty of times before we got married earlier this month. He helped me pick it out, helped me try it on at home after it came in, went with me to the tailor ' s both to drop it off and pick it up. I went with him to pick out his tux. The experience on our wedding day was still special because he hadn't seen the whole look together and because it was our wedding day- that's all it needed to feel special. We did a first look and I'm eternally thankful. It was so nice to have that alone time before the ceremony.
  • Its not necessarily about superstition anymore, but about the surprise element. He is terrible about keeping things surprises, so whenever we have an opportunity to make something between us surprising, I try to keep up with it. My fiance and I are also very traditional in many ways, and the dress question wasnt even discussed between us-it was just assumed by both that he won't know anything about the dress until I walk down the isle. He wants absolutely nothing to do with seeing any part of what I will be wearing when we marry. On the other hand, every couple is different, and aren't too concerned about it. My suggestion is that if he has seen it, perhaps try to think of something else to do on your wedding day that would be a big surprise for him.
  • I showed my fiancee a pic of the dress, of me in it, thought my head was not in it. He will see me in my dress before we get married since we have no time for pic after the ceremony. I'm far from superstitous so I don't really care. I know he's going to love me in it!
  • We're not superstitious, but he's not seeing the dress until I'm in it.  We both want that WOW factor.  And since we're having a night wedding, we're doing the "first look".  A) we feel it would be more intimate and B) we can take advantage of the natural light for pictures.

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    FI, my Father, and even my Brother don't want to see me in my dress until I walk down the aisle.  I thought that was really sweet all around.

    Many of my relatives and friends have said they want to be surprised as well.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."

  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I sent my FI pictures of me trying on several dresses that I liked, including the one I ultimately got.  I wanted to get his opinion.  (My parents, bridesmaids, and FMIL have also seen pictures.  My mom and 2 bridesmaids were with me when I first tried it on.) He knows which one I chose.  But I don't plan on wearing the dress for him in person until the wedding day.  Not at all superstitious.  I just want to see the look on his face when he sees me in the dress for the first time, with all of the other elements (which he hasn't seen) in place, when walking down the aisle. 
  • My fiancé helped me shop my dress, and I will be helping him choose his attire for the wedding. :) I don't really have any beliefs or ''supersitions'' related to seeing each other's clothing before the big day. It's always different to try it on in a store, then wear it with the whole hairdo/makeup/accessories on the wedding day. 
  • falsarafalsara Northside of Chicago member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    FI and I have decided that he won't be seeing the dress and I won't be seeing his tux. He has never ever seen me dressed up. I'm not a girly girl. So for us it was more of a way to make the day that much more special. I have asked his opinion on shoes and hairstyles bur he won't know what I pick until the day of when I walk down the aisle.


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  • I had never even really heard of this tradition until my sister got married two years ago.

    We just ordered my dress a couple of weeks ago, and the sample only existed in black, which I did show him a picture of me wearing. I guess I'll probably wait until the wedding for him to see me in it, since I'm not going to take him to the fittings, and I probably won't be trying it on at home. I did want him to have some idea of the dress to try to get a sense of whether it was a style he'd like, so now that I showed him it in black, and it's ordered, there won't really be any reason for him to see me in it until the day of the wedding anyway so I'll probably go along with this tradition.

  • My fiance hasn't even seen my dress yet. Not out of superstition, simply because I want him to be surprised. I don't think it really matters, whether he sees you in the dress before the wedding or not, it's just something I decided to do *shrug*
  • My FI said he did NOT want to see the dress at all until we have our first look. We looked at the photos of all the other dresses that I tried on but not THE dress. I had him convinced that he saw the actual dress but wouldn't tell him which one it was. He was MORTIFIED!!! He said that if he saw it, then I had to take it back and pick another. Superstitious much? He was joking but I had to explain that the ones he saw were just trial dresses before mine found me. :) 
  • My fiance is a tailor so he made my dress :)  I told him some of my favorite design elements and he began sewing....surprisingly, I have NOT seen my dress and don't plan to see it until my wedding day.  We haven't decided if I'll wear a blindfold while I get dressed and wait until I reach the altar to remove it.  We love surprises--we're having a surprise wedding! lol
  • I consider myself traditional, but my fiance and one of my best friends went dress shopping with me because my mom's health was not good. At first I was against the idea, but he really had some good input and I loved knowing which dress he thought looked the best on me. I did not pick out the dress until my mom was able to go with me and I did not tell him which dress I chose. He will not see see the dress until the day of our wedding. We are taking pictures before the ceremony, but he will still not see me in my dress again until I am all made up with my hair and my veil. I think there are ways to make new traditions or to make old traditions fit into new lifestyles and necessities.
  • I'm not one for superstition either, so I never cared if my guy saw my dress, saw me in the dress, or saw me on the wedding day before the ceremony. They all seem like silly rules to me and I'm not relying on them for a happy marriage!
    However, something my mom in law to be said changed my mind about him seeing me in the dress before the day. She likes to watch the groom as the bride walks down the isle, see his face as he looks at her all dress up in her wedding dress for the first time. So I'm going to wait till the wedding day. And I've decided I want to wait to see him in his tux, too.
  • I'm a theater person so I'm superstitious, and my fiance is NOT seeing my dress at all. (It's bad luck) If you don't care, and he's already seen it, ok. Personally, I'd wait til the wedding for him to see you in it though. That way your hair and makeup is all done, and you'll treasure the look on his face forever.
  • annesutardjiannesutardji member
    First Comment
    edited December 2013
    He will see me in the dress. I look good for him so I want to make sure he will like it. It does not matter how many time he sees me in it, if I look great to him, I will always look great to him, we don't like surprise!

    I involve him in everything I prepare for the wedding, we have 17 months to go, so we have time. We have done everything for the wedding together so far and it will continue to be that way.
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